My Manifesto

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First, myself.

I deserve to be happy, to have a happy marriage and to have myself.

The most important thing to me right now is to know myself and be

true to myself. I want to do what is best for me; I want to take good

care of myself. I am God-bearing just like everyone else. I need to

be good to me. I need to be able to recognize my own needs and meet

them for myself. This is my primary goal. I will need God's help to

do this.

Secondly, I am not in charge or control of anyone else. Nor am I

responsible for anyone else. We all have to take responsibility to

meet our own needs. I am unable to take responsibility for anyone

else's happiness any longer. Other's happiness can not be based on

whether or not I come through for them in the way they would like me

to.

I would like to have relationships with significant people in my

life; these relationships need to be based on respect for my

independent, individual personhood. More specifically, I need to have

the freedom to recognize what I need to do, and I need the freedom to

do it without fear.

The fear is my part. No one can put fear on me except for me. Fear

shows up in my life when I worry about disappointing others. In the

past, this fear has been coupled with almost debilitating anxiety and

dark, deep depression. It is also coupled with guilt becuase I feel

like I need to make others' lives happy. I feel like I am not doing

my job as a human being if others' are disappointed in my behavior.

Respecting my personhood is your part. I will no longer be in

relationships where I cannot be respected as an individual. You have

the perogative to dissagree with my decisions, however, I will no

longer feel guilt, fear, or anxiety after making the decisions I need

to make. If you would like to have a relationship with me, you need

to realize that I am a piece of humanity. I will make mistakes. I

will piss you off. I will not always do what you want me to do. In

fact, I may only seldom or never do what you want me to do. After

all, I am not a trainable animal. I am not going to be the possession

you take ownership of and train any longer. I am untrainable,

ungroundable, unguiltable.

In spite of, and maybe more accurately becuase of, all of my faults

and shortcomings, I am a beautiful, courageous, kind, unique,

spectacular individual. I hope that you can see that in me.

It is most important to me that I see that in myself.