Re: Cry for attention? Total disregard? Suicide coming soon?

[Guest guest]

You could have died, Lynnette. You are so lucky that wasn't a cliff

she drifted over with her eyes closed.

Our nadas are severely mentally ill, and IMHO should never be allowed

to drive or be alone with children. Ever.

When I was a pre-teen, my nada nearly killed us in the car, driving me

back from a youth club costume party. (This was only one of several

memorable occasions of nearly being killed by nada while she was

driving.) In this particular case, I had told her I was disappointed

because I thought the great costume she made me didn't win the costume

prize, and she " heard " that as a criticism of the costume. She went

ballistic. She was so crazed that she started staring at me to scream

at me and didn't even see that she was weaving into the oncoming

traffic and driving faster and faster.

I think she wanted to kill me, subconsciously, and didn't care at the

moment that a head-on collision would kill her too.

PDs are severely mentally ill human beings who cannot control their

emotions and are too dangerously unstable to be trusted to drive or to

be around small children. Period. Can't convince me otherwise.

-Annie

>

> Last night's " car trip " with Nada.

>

> Did some local shopping with Nada. She drove. She was " sad " last

> night (didn't know THAT before I went with her...). In a dense fog,

> going up a dark rural freeway she decides to play " sad music " . She

> starts driving off the road because she has her eyes closed.

> OMG!!!! " MOTHER OPEN YOUR EYES AND STAY ON THE ROAD "

>

> Her reply, " Oh yeah, I guess I should... "

>

> A few months ago she drove off an embankment and landed her car

> several feed down, sideways. Wasn't seriously injured and her car

> is " ok " . Has a load of bumps, dings, dents, etc. from " not her fault

> incidents " .

>

> It scares the bejeebies out of me but last night really sent it over

> the edge.

>

> Lynnette

>

[Guest guest]

I could have died.

My whole life I was yelled at for being " overly dramatic " for having

any response to something she did. Therefore I tend to be, as my SO

gently told me last night, " The most controlled person he's ever

known. " Thank God he knows why and loves me anyway...

It's so obvious to others that I'm put in danger. THEY see it...

THEY call it... you certainly did... WHY can't I see it?

Lynnette

> >

> > Last night's " car trip " with Nada.

> >

> > Did some local shopping with Nada. She drove. She was " sad " last

> > night (didn't know THAT before I went with her...). In a dense

fog,

> > going up a dark rural freeway she decides to play " sad music " . She

> > starts driving off the road because she has her eyes closed.

> > OMG!!!! " MOTHER OPEN YOUR EYES AND STAY ON THE ROAD "

> >

> > Her reply, " Oh yeah, I guess I should... "

> >

> > A few months ago she drove off an embankment and landed her car

> > several feed down, sideways. Wasn't seriously injured and her car

> > is " ok " . Has a load of bumps, dings, dents, etc. from " not her

fault

> > incidents " .

> >

> > It scares the bejeebies out of me but last night really sent it

over

> > the edge.

> >

> > Lynnette

> >

>

[Guest guest]

That reminds me...I fell out of a moving car when I was four when

nada was driving, right into the middle of a busy intersection. Too

young to remember all the details, but she always has maintained it

was my and my brother's fault. Hmmmm....

She also drives with one foot on the gas and one foot on the brakes,

and frequently uses both at the same time.

> >

> > Last night's " car trip " with Nada.

> >

> > Did some local shopping with Nada. She drove. She was " sad " last

> > night (didn't know THAT before I went with her...). In a dense

fog,

> > going up a dark rural freeway she decides to play " sad music " .

She

> > starts driving off the road because she has her eyes closed.

> > OMG!!!! " MOTHER OPEN YOUR EYES AND STAY ON THE ROAD "

> >

> > Her reply, " Oh yeah, I guess I should... "

> >

> > A few months ago she drove off an embankment and landed her car

> > several feed down, sideways. Wasn't seriously injured and her car

> > is " ok " . Has a load of bumps, dings, dents, etc. from " not her

fault

> > incidents " .

> >

> > It scares the bejeebies out of me but last night really sent it

over

> > the edge.

> >

> > Lynnette

> >

>

[Guest guest]

I think it is time for you to refuse to get into the car if she

is driving.

At 02:55 PM 12/03/2008 yp_lynnette_cameron_park wrote:

>Last night's " car trip " with Nada.

>

>Did some local shopping with Nada. She drove. She was " sad "

>last

>night (didn't know THAT before I went with her...). In a dense

>fog,

>going up a dark rural freeway she decides to play " sad music " .

>She

>starts driving off the road because she has her eyes closed.

>OMG!!!! " MOTHER OPEN YOUR EYES AND STAY ON THE ROAD "

>

>Her reply, " Oh yeah, I guess I should... "

>

>A few months ago she drove off an embankment and landed her car

>several feed down, sideways. Wasn't seriously injured and her

>car

>is " ok " . Has a load of bumps, dings, dents, etc. from " not her

>fault

>incidents " .

>

>It scares the bejeebies out of me but last night really sent it

>over

>the edge.

>

>Lynnette

--

Katrina

[Guest guest]

>

> I think it is time for you to refuse to get into the car if she

> is driving.

>

I absolutely agree.

There must be some way to petition to have her license suspended or

something along those lines. You might call the local DMV.

[Guest guest]

I agree with the others! You need to never get in the car as her passenger

again!!

 

If she has no reguard for her life,  she may not have reguard for yours.

 

Take care of yourself. i am guessing this was a suicide attempt.

 

BE CAREFUL

 

Nerak

Subject: Cry for attention? Total disregard? Suicide coming

soon?

To: WTOAdultChildren1

Date: Wednesday, December 3, 2008, 7:55 PM

Last night's " car trip " with Nada.

Did some local shopping with Nada. She drove. She was " sad " last

night (didn't know THAT before I went with her...). In a dense fog,

going up a dark rural freeway she decides to play " sad music " . She

starts driving off the road because she has her eyes closed.

OMG!!!! " MOTHER OPEN YOUR EYES AND STAY ON THE ROAD "

Her reply, " Oh yeah, I guess I should... "

A few months ago she drove off an embankment and landed her car

several feed down, sideways. Wasn't seriously injured and her car

is " ok " . Has a load of bumps, dings, dents, etc. from " not her fault

incidents " .

It scares the bejeebies out of me but last night really sent it over

the edge.

Lynnette

[Guest guest]

Wowza this was an eye-opening post! I didn't get a chance to read

all the responses, but I am glad that of those I read, everyone came

out alive.

*Driving* is an aspect of stepnada's abuse of my sister and that I

never thought of! First, stepnada is a HORRIBLE driver - speeds,

tailgates, runs reds, has road rage, yells at people and flips them

off, and has been in NINE accidents, TWO of which weren't her fault.

(Thought I have to question those two she claims weren't her fault.)

Riding in the car with her was absolutely terrifying and the one and

only time she tried to teach me to drive, I was left in a puddle of

tears, and she raged for hours about what a BABY I was. Ugh. Also,

don't know if this is true for any of you, but after I moved out,

anytime I agreed to meet her somewhere (dinner, shopping, etc) she

would INSIST VEHEMENTLY that I meet her at the house so she could

drive me!!! There was no saying no (duh). She would get offended if

I wouldn't let her drive me around. Riding in the car with her made

me feel like an eight year old and I would start feeling that same

caged animal anxiety that was my state of mind anytime I was spending

time with her. Plus, if she started a fight (and she usually did), I

would be trapped whereever we were with no option of getting up and

driving home.

>

> Last night's " car trip " with Nada.

>

> Did some local shopping with Nada. She drove. She was " sad " last

> night (didn't know THAT before I went with her...). In a dense fog,

> going up a dark rural freeway she decides to play " sad music " . She

> starts driving off the road because she has her eyes closed.

> OMG!!!! " MOTHER OPEN YOUR EYES AND STAY ON THE ROAD "

>

> Her reply, " Oh yeah, I guess I should... "

>

> A few months ago she drove off an embankment and landed her car

> several feed down, sideways. Wasn't seriously injured and her car

> is " ok " . Has a load of bumps, dings, dents, etc. from " not her fault

> incidents " .

>

> It scares the bejeebies out of me but last night really sent it over

> the edge.

>

> Lynnette

>

[Guest guest]

I'm noticing in a lot of posts that the underlying common thread with

our bpd mothers (in particular) is this " control " issue. Having

absolute, total control over not only us, their children, but over as

many people as possible, and control over situations: its all about

control. When they do not have control, they become enraged.

I've recently been reading case studies about psychopaths, and the

control issue is a common thread with them also. Its uncanny how many

of the behaviors of psychopaths and bpds and narcissists are so

similar; the only difference appears (to me) to be merely a matter of

degree, not type.

The write-ups say that these people feel completely empty inside,

hollow, and the way they fill up their emptiness is by controlling (or

attempting to control) everything that they possibly can. Controlling

everyone and everything around them makes them feel like they actually

exist, and are real.

Standing up to bpds/narcissists/psychopaths and giving them boundaries

is a way of limiting or removing their control; anyone or anything

that takes away their control enrages them.

Bottom line: they are quite severely mentally ill.

We KO's have been literally brainwashed from birth by a mentally ill

person. Not parented: trapped, caged, and brainwashed... By An

Insane Person.

A person with a defective, diseased, broken brain has been telling us

who we are our whole lives; no wonder its so effing difficult to

over-ride this toxic programming and regain our authentic selves.

A parent's job is to nurture, to guide, to encourage, to offer

choices, explore possibilities, and teach a child how to be a

self-assured, loving, hard-working, thoughtful, self-sufficient,

decent, moral, free adult human being who can give something good to

the world.

Instead, we were emotionally and physically beaten into submission.

Because that's all the bpds want is total obedience and submission,

total control.

-Annie

> >

> > Last night's " car trip " with Nada.

> >

> > Did some local shopping with Nada. She drove. She was " sad " last

> > night (didn't know THAT before I went with her...). In a dense fog,

> > going up a dark rural freeway she decides to play " sad music " . She

> > starts driving off the road because she has her eyes closed.

> > OMG!!!! " MOTHER OPEN YOUR EYES AND STAY ON THE ROAD "

> >

> > Her reply, " Oh yeah, I guess I should... "

> >

> > A few months ago she drove off an embankment and landed her car

> > several feed down, sideways. Wasn't seriously injured and her car

> > is " ok " . Has a load of bumps, dings, dents, etc. from " not her fault

> > incidents " .

> >

> > It scares the bejeebies out of me but last night really sent it over

> > the edge.

> >

> > Lynnette

> >

>

[Guest guest]

No, sorry; haven't done much reading about the other personality

disorder clusters.

But the main difference between the cluster groups that I notice is

that the " Cluster B " pds (the borderlines, narcissists and

psychopaths) " act out " their fears & dysfunctions: they blame and

mistreat other people , while " Cluster A " pds ( the paranoids,

schiziods, and schizotypals) AND the " Cluster C " pds (the

obsessive-compulsives, avoidants and dependents) " act in " , meaning

they blame and mistreat themselves.

Lucky us, we were raised by members of the " Drama Club. " Although, to

be honest, I imagine that being raised by a different kind of pd, like

a paranoid, is disturbing and scary and causes distress in a child also.

Keep in mind that it is possible for an individual to have

" co-morbidities " , or more than one mental illness at the same time.

I haven't read any studies yet about which mental illnesses tend to

" go together " , or the statistics about how frequently mental illnesses

occur, or in which combination, etc. But it would be interesting to

find out.

The source I use is the DSM-IV, aka " Diagnostic and Statistical Manual

of Mental Disorders " used by the American Psychiatric Association,

which can be found at various places online.

Its at Wikipedia (at least for now!):

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/DSM-IV_Codes#Personality_disorders

-Annie

> > > >

> > > > Last night's " car trip " with Nada.

> > > >

> > > > Did some local shopping with Nada. She drove. She was " sad " last

> > > > night (didn't know THAT before I went with her...). In a

> > dense fog,

> > > > going up a dark rural freeway she decides to play " sad

> > music " . She

> > > > starts driving off the road because she has her eyes closed.

> > > > OMG!!!! " MOTHER OPEN YOUR EYES AND STAY ON THE ROAD "

> > > >

> > > > Her reply, " Oh yeah, I guess I should... "

> > > >

> > > > A few months ago she drove off an embankment and landed her car

> > > > several feed down, sideways. Wasn't seriously injured and

> > her car

> > > > is " ok " . Has a load of bumps, dings, dents, etc. from " not

> > her fault

> > > > incidents " .

> > > >

> > > > It scares the bejeebies out of me but last night really sent

> > it over

> > > > the edge.

> > > >

> > > > Lynnette

> > > >

> > >

> >

> >

> >

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

I'm going to bring this to therapy on Wed.

" But the main difference between the cluster groups that I notice is

that the " Cluster B " pds (the borderlines, narcissists and

psychopaths) " act out " their fears & dysfunctions: they blame and

mistreat other people , while " Cluster A " pds ( the paranoids,

schiziods, and schizotypals) AND the " Cluster C " pds (the

obsessive-compulsives, avoidants and dependents) " act in " , meaning

they blame and mistreat themselves. "

Why?

If Ther. agree's... my Nada is a combination of all three.

A - Paranoid

B - BPD w/blame and mistreatment of others

C - Avoidant and Dependant = blame & mistreat self

Both A + C then always go back to B of how it's someone elses

fault... ALWAYS.

I feel sick.

Lynnette

> > > > >

> > > > > Last night's " car trip " with Nada.

> > > > >

> > > > > Did some local shopping with Nada. She drove. She was " sad "

last

> > > > > night (didn't know THAT before I went with her...). In a

> > > dense fog,

> > > > > going up a dark rural freeway she decides to play " sad

> > > music " . She

> > > > > starts driving off the road because she has her eyes closed.

> > > > > OMG!!!! " MOTHER OPEN YOUR EYES AND STAY ON THE ROAD "

> > > > >

> > > > > Her reply, " Oh yeah, I guess I should... "

> > > > >

> > > > > A few months ago she drove off an embankment and landed her

car

> > > > > several feed down, sideways. Wasn't seriously injured and

> > > her car

> > > > > is " ok " . Has a load of bumps, dings, dents, etc. from " not

> > > her fault

> > > > > incidents " .

> > > > >

> > > > > It scares the bejeebies out of me but last night really

sent

> > > it over

> > > > > the edge.

> > > > >

> > > > > Lynnette

> > > > >

> > > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> >

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

Nada's do seem to have a thing about driving and emotional

meltdowns. A few years ago (before I knew nada had bpd) we were in a

foreign European country visiting family. Driver's use the left hand

side of the road there. For some reason nada INSISTED I drive,

although I repeated told her I would rather not. The vehicle was my

uncle's standard (stick shift) which is opposite to the gear shift

order that I am used to. So naturally I was apprehensive, well! Did

I PAY for not sticking to my boundary. I was driving very slowly,

carefully, and shifting smoothly, I thought I was doing pretty good.

Nada kept screeching at me to drive closer to the middle of the

narrow road as she felt too close to the ditch on her side. This is

just perception since she's not used to that side. I didn't drive in

the middle of the road and finally nada BLEW her top. She screamed

at the top of her lungs about me " driving in the Fu*#ing ditch... "

on and on she screamed. When she finally 'came to' and stopped

screaming I told her " she had a problem. " she was so worked up that

she forced me to drive around the block again before going into

visit the family. A few minutes later upon entering for the family

visit... *BING*... right back onto the charming, sacchrine nada

mode. Like the screeching car meltdown seconds before never even

happened.

> >

> > Last night's " car trip " with Nada.

> >

> > Did some local shopping with Nada. She drove. She was " sad " last

> > night (didn't know THAT before I went with her...). In a dense

fog,

> > going up a dark rural freeway she decides to play " sad music " .

She

> > starts driving off the road because she has her eyes closed.

> > OMG!!!! " MOTHER OPEN YOUR EYES AND STAY ON THE ROAD "

> >

> > Her reply, " Oh yeah, I guess I should... "

> >

> > A few months ago she drove off an embankment and landed her car

> > several feed down, sideways. Wasn't seriously injured and her car

> > is " ok " . Has a load of bumps, dings, dents, etc. from " not her

fault

> > incidents " .

> >

> > It scares the bejeebies out of me but last night really sent it

over

> > the edge.

> >

> > Lynnette

> >

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Another example of what happens to nadas when they are not in control!

Mine would be in a state of near-panic/meltdown, convinced that I was

about to crash the car; she literally almost *caused* me to have an

accident with her hysterics, more than once.

When mine did drive, she was pretty good unless she was in a negative

emotional state. Which was way too often.

I'm convinced that their obsession with being in control of everything

at all times is at the bottom of a lot of their bizarre behaviors.

And I think that's why my nada said she didn't like babies and

couldn't wait until Sister and I could talk: she could not get a

pre-verbal infant to " obey " her.

-Annie

> > >

> > > Last night's " car trip " with Nada.

> > >

> > > Did some local shopping with Nada. She drove. She was " sad " last

> > > night (didn't know THAT before I went with her...). In a dense

> fog,

> > > going up a dark rural freeway she decides to play " sad music " .

> She

> > > starts driving off the road because she has her eyes closed.

> > > OMG!!!! " MOTHER OPEN YOUR EYES AND STAY ON THE ROAD "

> > >

> > > Her reply, " Oh yeah, I guess I should... "

> > >

> > > A few months ago she drove off an embankment and landed her car

> > > several feed down, sideways. Wasn't seriously injured and her car

> > > is " ok " . Has a load of bumps, dings, dents, etc. from " not her

> fault

> > > incidents " .

> > >

> > > It scares the bejeebies out of me but last night really sent it

> over

> > > the edge.

> > >

> > > Lynnette

> > >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

i don't think i'll ever ride in the same car with my mom again. she

always insists someone either picks her up or drives, even if it's

her own car. one time she told me to drive her car around and then

when i was at this particularly complex intersection and we needed to

suddenly get over 4 lanes to make our turn, she starts SCREAMING

about how i'm going to wreck her car. i actually raised my hand to

her and said " if you don't stop screaming, I AM GOING TO WRECK YOUR

CAR! now BACK OFF. " she started looking pissed and said, " you don't

talk to me like that. " i shouted, " YOU DON'T TALK TO ME LIKE THAT!

I'M TRYING TO DRIVE HERE!!! "

then 5 mins later, it was like nothing happened. so weird.

bink

> > > >

> > > > Last night's " car trip " with Nada.

> > > >

> > > > Did some local shopping with Nada. She drove. She was " sad "

last

> > > > night (didn't know THAT before I went with her...). In a

dense

> > fog,

> > > > going up a dark rural freeway she decides to play " sad

music " .

> > She

> > > > starts driving off the road because she has her eyes closed.

> > > > OMG!!!! " MOTHER OPEN YOUR EYES AND STAY ON THE ROAD "

> > > >

> > > > Her reply, " Oh yeah, I guess I should... "

> > > >

> > > > A few months ago she drove off an embankment and landed her

car

> > > > several feed down, sideways. Wasn't seriously injured and her

car

> > > > is " ok " . Has a load of bumps, dings, dents, etc. from " not

her

> > fault

> > > > incidents " .

> > > >

> > > > It scares the bejeebies out of me but last night really sent

it

> > over

> > > > the edge.

> > > >

> > > > Lynnette

> > > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

[Guest guest]

I refused to be in the same car as my nada years before I went NC.

When I was a kid, the car was used as a weapon. She was able to

trap in there and yell at me. I used to run out of the car and walk

home in order to maintain my sanity, but she figured out ways around

that too. One time she literally parked the car in the center

divider lane of a 7 lane street in Los Angeles, with cars racing by

at around 45 miles per hour. I would have been killed if I tried to

get out.

I've also nearly crashed the car several times while I was driving

and she was in the passenger seat. One time I had to pull off the

freeway onto the shoulder because I was about to go nuts while

driving. I nearly had a very severe accident both stopping and

merging back onto the freeway.

I'm getting better though. My younger brother has refused to talk

to me for several months now because he says " I've hurt our mother

so much it's killing him. " So I was surprised when he invited me to

go to a football game last weekend. I knew it was most probably a

trap, but I went anyway. On the way back, he exploded about how

much damange I've caused the family. I pulled the car over, turned

it off, and tried to talk to him in a normal fashion. Of course he

kept yelling and screaming (and making no sense btw...each time I

asked him to give me a concrete example rather than an accusation he

was unable to do so). The point is I've learned to keep my cool and

no longer drive in those situations.

-Rod

> > > > >

> > > > > Last night's " car trip " with Nada.

> > > > >

> > > > > Did some local shopping with Nada. She drove. She

was " sad "

> last

> > > > > night (didn't know THAT before I went with her...). In a

> dense

> > > fog,

> > > > > going up a dark rural freeway she decides to play " sad

> music " .

> > > She

> > > > > starts driving off the road because she has her eyes

closed.

> > > > > OMG!!!! " MOTHER OPEN YOUR EYES AND STAY ON THE ROAD "

> > > > >

> > > > > Her reply, " Oh yeah, I guess I should... "

> > > > >

> > > > > A few months ago she drove off an embankment and landed

her

> car

> > > > > several feed down, sideways. Wasn't seriously injured and

her

> car

> > > > > is " ok " . Has a load of bumps, dings, dents, etc. from " not

> her

> > > fault

> > > > > incidents " .

> > > > >

> > > > > It scares the bejeebies out of me but last night really

sent

> it

> > > over

> > > > > the edge.

> > > > >

> > > > > Lynnette

> > > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

[Guest guest]

Excellent, Bink! High-five! But watch out for " nada's revenge, "

later. When you confront them and give them boundaries, if yours is

anything like mine, she'll do something sneaky (passive-aggressive)to

get you back, later. When you're not expecting it.

Mine has waited years to get me back, literally, for something I said

a long time ago that stuck in her craw. Brrr.

I get the impression sometimes that my nada actually *enjoys* her car

histrionics and picking fights with me, as though she is bored with us

just being nice to each other.

All I'm sure of is that I can't stand it, not anymore. When I would

visit her, having traveled all the way across country to do so, paying

for my flights and renting a car and driving the rest of the way to

see her, spending my hard-earned and limited vacation time to spend a

few days with her, I did NOT want to spend it effing fighting with

her. I finally got fed up with it a few years ago, so when she'd

start in on me, criticizing and just itching for a fight, I'd simply

leave.

Maybe she's addicted to drama. Whatever. I just don't even *care*

anymore. Life is too short to spend it trying to figure out why an

insane person does *anything.* All I do know is that spending time

with my nada is like spending time in a mine-field, and how long can I

walk around the mine-field this time before one of the things blows

up? (I liked that mine-field analogy, that one of you posted earlier!

Good one!)

-Annie

> > > > >

> > > > > Last night's " car trip " with Nada.

> > > > >

> > > > > Did some local shopping with Nada. She drove. She was " sad "

> last

> > > > > night (didn't know THAT before I went with her...). In a

> dense

> > > fog,

> > > > > going up a dark rural freeway she decides to play " sad

> music " .

> > > She

> > > > > starts driving off the road because she has her eyes closed.

> > > > > OMG!!!! " MOTHER OPEN YOUR EYES AND STAY ON THE ROAD "

> > > > >

> > > > > Her reply, " Oh yeah, I guess I should... "

> > > > >

> > > > > A few months ago she drove off an embankment and landed her

> car

> > > > > several feed down, sideways. Wasn't seriously injured and her

> car

> > > > > is " ok " . Has a load of bumps, dings, dents, etc. from " not

> her

> > > fault

> > > > > incidents " .

> > > > >

> > > > > It scares the bejeebies out of me but last night really sent

> it

> > > over

> > > > > the edge.

> > > > >

> > > > > Lynnette

> > > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

[Guest guest]

Speaking of vacations, anyone else hating them grow up? They were

torture. At least at home I could hide somewhere until she fell

asleep. Dealing with all the stress of her getting ready for the

trip, then spending hours in the car with her, and then being

expected to be with her while we were there. My god, I'm freaking

out just thinking about it...

My old girlfriend asked me to go on a vacation with her a few years

ago. My initial response was " hell no! " Yeah, that didn't go over

well. It took me a few months to realize that I associated

vacations with stress and terror. I guess that's another area I

need to reparent myself.

Vegas anyone???

-Rod

> > > > > >

> > > > > > Last night's " car trip " with Nada.

> > > > > >

> > > > > > Did some local shopping with Nada. She drove. She

was " sad "

> > last

> > > > > > night (didn't know THAT before I went with her...). In a

> > dense

> > > > fog,

> > > > > > going up a dark rural freeway she decides to play " sad

> > music " .

> > > > She

> > > > > > starts driving off the road because she has her eyes

closed.

> > > > > > OMG!!!! " MOTHER OPEN YOUR EYES AND STAY ON THE ROAD "

> > > > > >

> > > > > > Her reply, " Oh yeah, I guess I should... "

> > > > > >

> > > > > > A few months ago she drove off an embankment and landed

her

> > car

> > > > > > several feed down, sideways. Wasn't seriously injured

and her

> > car

> > > > > > is " ok " . Has a load of bumps, dings, dents, etc.

from " not

> > her

> > > > fault

> > > > > > incidents " .

> > > > > >

> > > > > > It scares the bejeebies out of me but last night really

sent

> > it

> > > > over

> > > > > > the edge.

> > > > > >

> > > > > > Lynnette

> > > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

[Guest guest]

You were a lot smarter/bolder than I was as a kid, I'm impressed! I've

been in that situation too: nada using the car as a weapon, or as a

cage to trap me so I could be screamed at, denigrated and criticized

with no hope of escape.

(I'm still considering inventing the " No Mo BPD Collar " , that zaps

nada with a jolt of electricity when she starts any negative,bpd

behaviors. Bad nada! ZAP!)

-Annie

> > > > > >

> > > > > > Last night's " car trip " with Nada.

> > > > > >

> > > > > > Did some local shopping with Nada. She drove. She

> was " sad "

> > last

> > > > > > night (didn't know THAT before I went with her...). In a

> > dense

> > > > fog,

> > > > > > going up a dark rural freeway she decides to play " sad

> > music " .

> > > > She

> > > > > > starts driving off the road because she has her eyes

> closed.

> > > > > > OMG!!!! " MOTHER OPEN YOUR EYES AND STAY ON THE ROAD "

> > > > > >

> > > > > > Her reply, " Oh yeah, I guess I should... "

> > > > > >

> > > > > > A few months ago she drove off an embankment and landed

> her

> > car

> > > > > > several feed down, sideways. Wasn't seriously injured and

> her

> > car

> > > > > > is " ok " . Has a load of bumps, dings, dents, etc. from " not

> > her

> > > > fault

> > > > > > incidents " .

> > > > > >

> > > > > > It scares the bejeebies out of me but last night really

> sent

> > it

> > > > over

> > > > > > the edge.

> > > > > >

> > > > > > Lynnette

> > > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

[Guest guest]

I'll buy that!!! You build it, I'll buy it. It could also work by

releasing a sedative into her bloodstream whenever she acts up. A

passed out nada is a good nada in my book.

-Rod

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > Last night's " car trip " with Nada.

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > Did some local shopping with Nada. She drove. She

> > was " sad "

> > > last

> > > > > > > night (didn't know THAT before I went with her...). In

a

> > > dense

> > > > > fog,

> > > > > > > going up a dark rural freeway she decides to play " sad

> > > music " .

> > > > > She

> > > > > > > starts driving off the road because she has her eyes

> > closed.

> > > > > > > OMG!!!! " MOTHER OPEN YOUR EYES AND STAY ON THE ROAD "

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > Her reply, " Oh yeah, I guess I should... "

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > A few months ago she drove off an embankment and

landed

> > her

> > > car

> > > > > > > several feed down, sideways. Wasn't seriously injured

and

> > her

> > > car

> > > > > > > is " ok " . Has a load of bumps, dings, dents, etc.

from " not

> > > her

> > > > > fault

> > > > > > > incidents " .

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > It scares the bejeebies out of me but last night

really

> > sent

> > > it

> > > > > over

> > > > > > > the edge.

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > Lynnette

> > > > > > >

> > > > > >

> > > > > >

> > > > > >

> > > > > >

> > > > > >

> > > > > >

> > > > > >

[Guest guest]

Vacation = stress/terror.

Yes, I can relate to that.

Actually, Vegas is the only place I have ever had a semi-good time

with my nada. She is so excited and distracted by the gambling that

she can't focus on me! I can even leave her at her favorite slot

machine and go do something else for a couple of hours.

I tried taking nada on some overseas trips with me and they were

nightmarish. Every one of those trips is a bad, sad memory.

Vacations were sort of OK when we were kids because dad was there to

take the brunt of nada's crazy behaviors. He took a lot of crap for us

kids, and I'm grateful to him for it.

We only ever went to the beach on vacations, once a year, every year,

and every damned time nada would let me and Sister get severely

sunburned. Nada apparently had no problem with Sister and me screaming

in pain from second-degree sunburns (with raised blisters) and even

getting fevers from it, and having to stay inside and suffer during

most of the damned vacation.

We were little effing kids, for pete's sake, we didn't know about

staying covered and staying in the shade during the middle of the day.

Nada didn't bother to get us acclimated, didn't help us get a tan

ahead of time, it was just off to the beach & get fried.

Literally.

I finally started taking care of myself RE sun exposure when I was

about 11. I'm a slow learner, I guess.

-Annie

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > Last night's " car trip " with Nada.

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > Did some local shopping with Nada. She drove. She

> was " sad "

> > > last

> > > > > > > night (didn't know THAT before I went with her...). In a

> > > dense

> > > > > fog,

> > > > > > > going up a dark rural freeway she decides to play " sad

> > > music " .

> > > > > She

> > > > > > > starts driving off the road because she has her eyes

> closed.

> > > > > > > OMG!!!! " MOTHER OPEN YOUR EYES AND STAY ON THE ROAD "

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > Her reply, " Oh yeah, I guess I should... "

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > A few months ago she drove off an embankment and landed

> her

> > > car

> > > > > > > several feed down, sideways. Wasn't seriously injured

> and her

> > > car

> > > > > > > is " ok " . Has a load of bumps, dings, dents, etc.

> from " not

> > > her

> > > > > fault

> > > > > > > incidents " .

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > It scares the bejeebies out of me but last night really

> sent

> > > it

> > > > > over

> > > > > > > the edge.

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > Lynnette

> > > > > > >

> > > > > >

> > > > > >

> > > > > >

> > > > > >

> > > > > >

> > > > > >

> > > > > >

[Guest guest]

i don't know how someone could be addicted to drama. it makes me

physically ill. when i lived in another city from my mom and she

would visit, i would get physically ill or start having horrible

tooth aches. she would always throw a fit about something or decide

to take a " short cut " and arrive 3 hrs later than she would have, but

STILL CLAIMING SHE SAVED TIME. huh?

the final straw was during spring break 2 years ago when my mom

threatened not to bring my baby sister up to see me. she demanded

that i drive 100 miles out of my way whe she could have driven 20

miles out of hers to drop of the sister. my mom collects horrible

old women who treat her poorly and she imprints upon them. it's the

weirdest thing. anyway, she was going to this old woman's house who

was a complete asshole. she would say mean things to my mom, then

mom would take it out on me. it was freaking ridiculous. ruined

several of my summer vacations. anyway, mom can't understand why i

don't want to spend time with this lady. she is so freaking

oblivious. she was all, " you can't see her unless you pick her up! "

AND to top it off, she called at 3 am and left messages on my

machine. i told her, " if you call again this late, i will have to

turn my phone off at night. " she did it again, and i turned my phone

off. i went to pick the little sister up and stayed for about 45

mins, then when i was getting ready to leave, my mom was all, " you're

not staying? " i'm like.......................no. absolutely not.

come on, sis. later mom.

well, lo and behold, without a punching bag around, mom couldn't deal

with this old woman, and apparently the woman was so mean that mom

felt the need to leave in the middle of the night. she can't wait

until the morning! NOOOoooOOOooOOOOoooOOO!! she has to make the

most dramatic exit and leave in the middle of the night. sheesh.

so anyway, she called my house to see if she could spend the night,

but of course, since she had been calling in the middle of the night,

my phone was OFF.

that was pretty much the last straw. she was so weird about me

getting married. it's not like she ever made any proclamations about

what she expected or even indicated that she WANTED me to get

married, but as soon as i announced we were getting hitched, she

started making all these plans. it was completely overwhelming.

then the hubby and i called off the wedding. it was just too weird.

then about 2 wks before, we were all, GAME ON! and sent out emails

alerting family members to show up. my mom was totally convinced

that i was succumbing to what my mother in law wanted. whatever!

i think that's the most insulting thing: she attributes the things I

WANT and the things I DO FOR MYSELF to me following other people.

what the hell is that about? it's like, wow. you don't respect me

at all. you don't have a clue who i am or what i want. i don't do

what YOU want me to do. what makes you think i do what OTHER people

want me to do?!??! and she's convinced that i treat her differently

from the way i treat dad. it's completely ridiculous. she just

doesn't like being held to standards. it's like being held to a

regular standard (ie, NOT CALLING IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FRIGGIN NIGHT)

is too much to ask.

i am totally ranting, i know. it's because i'm angry that i had to

live under her tyranny for so long and now she will only admit to her

being " too hard on me. " and she'll only admit that after backing her

into a corner and then hanging up on her. i don't even recognize her

anymore. she's so smart and funny, but she is LAZY. she will not do

the things that she needs to do to improve her life. she will only

go to therapy if it makes someone look bad (ie dad after the

divorce). ridiculous ridiculous ridiculous.

a few months ago, we had a big blow up. she called and said, " i love

you and you're the best thing that i've ever done. i am proud of

you. " i called back and said, " um...talk is cheap. you may SAY that

you're proud of me, but you don't ACT like you're proud of me. " she

said, " well, how do you want me to ACT proud of you? " huh? for

starters, um...take an interest in my life! second, respond

positively to the things i am excited about! try not to be a drag

just for drag's sake. GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!

wow...that kind of devolved...

bink

> > > > > >

> > > > > > Last night's " car trip " with Nada.

> > > > > >

> > > > > > Did some local shopping with Nada. She drove. She

was " sad "

> > last

> > > > > > night (didn't know THAT before I went with her...). In a

> > dense

> > > > fog,

> > > > > > going up a dark rural freeway she decides to play " sad

> > music " .

> > > > She

> > > > > > starts driving off the road because she has her eyes

closed.

> > > > > > OMG!!!! " MOTHER OPEN YOUR EYES AND STAY ON THE ROAD "

> > > > > >

> > > > > > Her reply, " Oh yeah, I guess I should... "

> > > > > >

> > > > > > A few months ago she drove off an embankment and landed

her

> > car

> > > > > > several feed down, sideways. Wasn't seriously injured and

her

> > car

> > > > > > is " ok " . Has a load of bumps, dings, dents, etc.

from " not

> > her

> > > > fault

> > > > > > incidents " .

> > > > > >

> > > > > > It scares the bejeebies out of me but last night really

sent

> > it

> > > > over

> > > > > > the edge.

> > > > > >

> > > > > > Lynnette

> > > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

[Guest guest]

Yes, that's true: a tranquilized nada is probably better than a zapped

nada; zapping her might just make her angrier! Unless its strong

enough...

Oops, sorry about that, nada! Well, your hair will grow back, I guess.

We had fun " inventing " this thing a few months back. Its like one of

those dog-training collars that supposedly teaches dogs to not bark,

but this collar would have a microchip that recognizes hostile or

whiny statements and ZAP! (or ping! with a dose of tranquilizer).

And it has to be pretty, so nada will want to put it on.

And maybe it plays music to reinforce the training, like any song with

the word " Crazy " in the title...

Ah, if only...!

-Annie

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > Last night's " car trip " with Nada.

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > Did some local shopping with Nada. She drove. She

> > > was " sad "

> > > > last

> > > > > > > > night (didn't know THAT before I went with her...). In

> a

> > > > dense

> > > > > > fog,

> > > > > > > > going up a dark rural freeway she decides to play " sad

> > > > music " .

> > > > > > She

> > > > > > > > starts driving off the road because she has her eyes

> > > closed.

> > > > > > > > OMG!!!! " MOTHER OPEN YOUR EYES AND STAY ON THE ROAD "

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > Her reply, " Oh yeah, I guess I should... "

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > A few months ago she drove off an embankment and

> landed

> > > her

> > > > car

> > > > > > > > several feed down, sideways. Wasn't seriously injured

> and

> > > her

> > > > car

> > > > > > > > is " ok " . Has a load of bumps, dings, dents, etc.

> from " not

> > > > her

> > > > > > fault

> > > > > > > > incidents " .

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > It scares the bejeebies out of me but last night

> really

> > > sent

> > > > it

> > > > > > over

> > > > > > > > the edge.

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > Lynnette

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > >

[Guest guest]

i can totally relate. and my mom would use " family vacations " as a

way to make my dad look like a jerk. she would decide about a wk

before she wanted to go on vacation that she wanted to go on vacation

and when dad would tell her that he couldn't just take off work like

that, she would get pissed off, LEAVE WITH US KIDS, and tell us the

whole way there that dad didn't care about us enough to take a few

days off work. it took me years to realize that it wasn't normal for

dads to meet up with their families a few days after the vacation

started.

bink

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > Last night's " car trip " with Nada.

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > Did some local shopping with Nada. She drove. She

> was " sad "

> > > last

> > > > > > > night (didn't know THAT before I went with her...). In

a

> > > dense

> > > > > fog,

> > > > > > > going up a dark rural freeway she decides to play " sad

> > > music " .

> > > > > She

> > > > > > > starts driving off the road because she has her eyes

> closed.

> > > > > > > OMG!!!! " MOTHER OPEN YOUR EYES AND STAY ON THE ROAD "

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > Her reply, " Oh yeah, I guess I should... "

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > A few months ago she drove off an embankment and landed

> her

> > > car

> > > > > > > several feed down, sideways. Wasn't seriously injured

> and her

> > > car

> > > > > > > is " ok " . Has a load of bumps, dings, dents, etc.

> from " not

> > > her

> > > > > fault

> > > > > > > incidents " .

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > It scares the bejeebies out of me but last night really

> sent

> > > it

> > > > > over

> > > > > > > the edge.

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > Lynnette

> > > > > > >

> > > > > >

> > > > > >

> > > > > >

> > > > > >

> > > > > >

> > > > > >

> > > > > >

[Guest guest]

are you kidding me?!?! slow learner? you were 11! 11 yr olds are

KIDS! they're not even all the way adult-sized yet! you shouldn't

even be learning that yourself. your mom should have been watching

out for you guys!!!

bink

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > Last night's " car trip " with Nada.

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > Did some local shopping with Nada. She drove. She

> > was " sad "

> > > > last

> > > > > > > > night (didn't know THAT before I went with her...).

In a

> > > > dense

> > > > > > fog,

> > > > > > > > going up a dark rural freeway she decides to

play " sad

> > > > music " .

> > > > > > She

> > > > > > > > starts driving off the road because she has her eyes

> > closed.

> > > > > > > > OMG!!!! " MOTHER OPEN YOUR EYES AND STAY ON THE ROAD "

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > Her reply, " Oh yeah, I guess I should... "

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > A few months ago she drove off an embankment and

landed

> > her

> > > > car

> > > > > > > > several feed down, sideways. Wasn't seriously injured

> > and her

> > > > car

> > > > > > > > is " ok " . Has a load of bumps, dings, dents, etc.

> > from " not

> > > > her

> > > > > > fault

> > > > > > > > incidents " .

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > It scares the bejeebies out of me but last night

really

> > sent

> > > > it

> > > > > > over

> > > > > > > > the edge.

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > Lynnette

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > >