Re: Re: NC Nada is Trying to Break Through - HELP!

[Guest guest]

Hi,

I can identify with what you wrote -- my nada has also gone behind my back and

enlisted others to try to contact/give gifts to my son (who she's also verbally

abused in the past) on her behalf.... It's so scary and frustrating!! And

sometimes, she's succeeded.

For BPs, it's sometimes all about getting everyone on THEIR side, and making YOU

look like the insane, irrational one.... Ugghhhhh!

Anyhow -- I think you should forgive yourself for whatever you said to your kids

about her. At that age, they can't really understand the concept of " NC " and

knowing they have grandparents out there who aren't a part of their lives could

hurt them more than finding out (later) that they have an abusive mentally ill

grandparent you were protecting them from during their early childhood.

I agree with everyone about talking to the caregiver and making it clear he's

not to have any contact with your nada, ever. I do think, though, that if you

live several states away a restraining order might be a bit much. You can

always get one later if she escalates in her behavior and tries to show up at

your door.

It's really your call -- it just seems like overkill to me at this point.

Keep us posted!

S

Re: NC Nada is Trying to Break Through - HELP!

To: WTOAdultChildren1

> I also think that you should talk to your caregiver and get a

> restraining order. You also need to think about what you are

> going to

> say to your kids if she finds a way to contact them one day. They

> could be very upset at being lied to especially if nada gets to them

> before you. That is my opinion.

>

>

>

> >

> > Hi Everyone. I am hoping for some sage advice.

> >

> > I went NC with my nada last Xmas after she was verbally

> abusive to

> my daughters, at the time 2 & 3 years old. I have been very happy

> with my decision as she has been horribly destructive to my life when

> given any opportunity, including trying to get me to divorce my

> husband, blaming me for every ill in her life, telling me what a

> failure and non-parent I am etc. I have a rare brain disease called

> PTC and she screeched that I was faking it. Apparently MRI's and

> hospitals lie. Anyways after YEARS of abuse I ended it and told my

> children she had passed away. Now before you think me rash, please

> realize that my nada had been making remarks to my caretaker

> (have one

> bc of my illness) for a year that he should come to her with any issue

> with the children so she could build a case of neglect and have them

> removed from me and put in her home. Now what would /you/ do?

> >

> > So, my daughter will be 5 this year and in public school. I don't

> want Nada anywhere near her and we live several states away.

> But JUST

> in case, I don't even want my kids to know she exists. Period.

> >

> > Now here's my dillema. She called my cell phone on Thanksgiving

> behaving as if we had never stopped talking. She acts as if nothing

> ever happened and says " I don't know what you're so mad about,

> we love

> you, everything is fine. -Call me! " It made me angry, but I did

> /not/ let it ruin my day.

> >

> > We have our new home phone number unlisted. Partly bc of

> her. She

> called my caretaker's cell phone and he didn't recognize her number

> and actually answered it. She told him she's sending packages

> for the

> children and myself and she doesn't understand why I'm so mad

> and how

> all is well. She also demanded to speak with the children. Of course

> he made excuses and politely got her off the phone as quick as

> he could.

> >

> > She is not stupid. She knows better than to call my husband who

> would REAM her. She knows I will not return her calls and I

> have her

> email blocked. My caretaker is a good man, but this puts him in a

> sensative position too bc now she's trying to go through him. I don't

> want to break my NC to give her ANY attention.

> >

> > Thoughts?

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >