Guest guest Posted December 6, 2008 Report Share Posted December 6, 2008 Don't feel bad. All the woman had to do was say, " Oh, no, sorry, I can't go; could you ask someone else to pick it up for you? " Or maybe, " I can't go, but is there anything I can help with here so that you can go pick it up? " or SOMEthing other than an insincere " OK. " How bizarre of her to agree to go pick up the cake for you and then be furious at you for asking her that favor! So, it's her (unfathomable) problem. You offered to appologize, you were turned down, so, all I can guess is that she's got some kind of " I-can't-say-no-and-I-hate-you-for-putting-me-on-the-spot " personality disorder, perhaps. Let it go, is my advice. -Annie > > Tonight we have about 20+ people over the house because we were frying > two turkeys. This past week was my boyfriend's birthday so I ordered > a special ice cream cake (cookiepus for those that know Carvel). We > were at a parade all day and ran out of time to pick it up. > > A friend's wife showed up a bit later and before my bf saw her I asked > her if she would pick up the cake... She was a bit weird about it and > it turns out she was very mad that she had to go. She was gone for > 45min+ (it was 5 miles away) and came back furious. She tossed the > cake at me and then said she was leaving to get her kids (leaving her > husband) > > I feel like complete crap. She is a difficult woman at best but she > loves my bf like a member of her family. I thought it would be ok. I > offered to apologize but her husband said no. > > Am I responsible or is this KO crap? > > > Shari > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 7, 2008 Report Share Posted December 7, 2008 IMO - No. It's your resonposibility to be accountable for your own actions. If you accept someone's proposal and then get angry at them, you're pointing the finger the wrong way if you were given a direct choice in the beginning. You didn't approach her and say " Go here now and get this cake or else. " You didn't guilt her into it either or use passive-aggressive techniques. You asked a question, she gave an answer - SHE MADE A CHOICE. This is something about people that irks me to no end and I'm not entirely sure why. I get so agitated when people blame others for their own behavoir. Nobody can control my happiness as an adult - it's a culmination of choices I make. I have the control. It took me awhile to learn that - but man was it worth it. I realize not everyone operates this way - but as I prefaced - IMO. ________________________________ To: WTOAdultChildren1 Sent: Saturday, December 6, 2008 7:05:00 PM Subject: Am I responsible? Tonight we have about 20+ people over the house because we were frying two turkeys. This past week was my boyfriend's birthday so I ordered a special ice cream cake (cookiepus for those that know Carvel). We were at a parade all day and ran out of time to pick it up. A friend's wife showed up a bit later and before my bf saw her I asked her if she would pick up the cake... She was a bit weird about it and it turns out she was very mad that she had to go. She was gone for 45min+ (it was 5 miles away) and came back furious. She tossed the cake at me and then said she was leaving to get her kids (leaving her husband) I feel like complete crap. She is a difficult woman at best but she loves my bf like a member of her family. I thought it would be ok. I offered to apologize but her husband said no. Am I responsible or is this KO crap? Shari Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 8, 2008 Report Share Posted December 8, 2008 I agree with the other posters. It's her responsibility to say " No " if she is unwilling/unable to do the errand. For her to do it, take too long, and then leave abruptly is very rude. Probably even indicitive of someone who has personality disorder or boundary issues. She's the one that should be apologizing to you, not the other way around. (Although persuing that would be useless and pointless probably.) Be prepared though, this woman will probably act icy to you from now on. It's not your problem, don't feel guilty, you asked a small simple favour of someone, that's all. Not to worry, I would probably feel the same way too. It's the FOG seeping into your KO mind. > > Tonight we have about 20+ people over the house because we were frying > two turkeys. This past week was my boyfriend's birthday so I ordered > a special ice cream cake (cookiepus for those that know Carvel). We > were at a parade all day and ran out of time to pick it up. > > A friend's wife showed up a bit later and before my bf saw her I asked > her if she would pick up the cake... She was a bit weird about it and > it turns out she was very mad that she had to go. She was gone for > 45min+ (it was 5 miles away) and came back furious. She tossed the > cake at me and then said she was leaving to get her kids (leaving her > husband) > > I feel like complete crap. She is a difficult woman at best but she > loves my bf like a member of her family. I thought it would be ok. I > offered to apologize but her husband said no. > > Am I responsible or is this KO crap? > > > Shari > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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