Re: NC Nada is Trying to Break Through - HELP!

[Guest guest]

Me personally, I would have a quiet and sincere talk with your

care-giver, with your husband present. The care-giver needs to

understand clearly what a serious situation this is, and since you are

his employer, he needs to understand that part of his job is to

block your nada from any contact with you and your family AND he is

not to relay any information *about* you *to* nada, period. It is very

important that your care-giver does not feel the least, tiniest bit

conflicted about what his duties and responsibilities are.

Perhaps you should consider taking out a restraining order against

your nada, and if so you need to let your care-giver know that.

Give your care-giver specific instructions. For example: " If my mother

should contact you by phone to ask about me, you say only, 'I'm sorry,

but I'm hanging up now.' If my mother should show up at my home, you

need to notify the police because she is violating a restraining

order. " etc., etc.

I think a restraining order is in order, myself!

-Annie

>

> Hi Everyone.  I am hoping for some sage advice.

>  

> I went NC with my nada last Xmas after she was verbally abusive to

my daughters, at the time 2 & 3 years old.  I have been very happy

with my decision as she has been horribly destructive to my life when

given any opportunity, including trying to get me to divorce my

husband, blaming me for every ill in her life, telling me what a

failure and non-parent I am etc.  I have  a rare brain disease called

PTC and she screeched that I was faking it.  Apparently MRI's and

hospitals lie.  Anyways after YEARS of abuse I ended it and told my

children she had passed away.  Now before you think me rash, please

realize that my nada had been making remarks to my caretaker (have one

bc of my illness) for a year that he should come to her with any issue

with the children so she could build a case of neglect and have them

removed from me and put in her home.  Now what would /you/ do?

>  

> So, my daughter will be 5 this year and in public school.  I don't

want Nada anywhere near her and we live several states away.  But JUST

in case, I don't even want my kids to know she exists.  Period. 

>  

> Now here's my dillema.  She called my cell phone on Thanksgiving

behaving as if we had never stopped talking.  She acts as if nothing

ever happened and says " I don't know what you're so mad about, we love

you, everything is fine.  -Call me! "   It made me angry, but I did

/not/ let it ruin my day.

>  

> We have our new home phone number unlisted.  Partly bc of her.  She

called my caretaker's cell phone and he didn't recognize her number

and actually answered it.  She told him she's sending packages for the

children and myself and she doesn't understand why I'm so mad and how

all is well.  She also demanded to speak with the children.  Of course

he made excuses and politely got her off the phone as quick as he could.

>  

> She is not stupid.  She knows better than to call my husband who

would REAM her.  She knows I will not return her calls and I have her

email blocked.  My caretaker is a good man, but this puts him in a

sensative position too bc now she's trying to go through him.  I don't

want to break my NC to give her ANY attention.

>  

> Thoughts?

>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

>

> Me personally, I would have a quiet and sincere talk with your

> care-giver, with your husband present. The care-giver needs to

> understand clearly what a serious situation this is, and since you are

> his employer, he needs to understand that part of his job is to

> block your nada from any contact with you and your family AND he is

> not to relay any information *about* you *to* nada, period. It is very

> important that your care-giver does not feel the least, tiniest bit

> conflicted about what his duties and responsibilities are.

Right, and make sure he knows that you expect him to comply or he won't

keep the job.

kt

[Guest guest]

I also think that you should talk to your caregiver and get a

restraining order. You also need to think about what you are going to

say to your kids if she finds a way to contact them one day. They

could be very upset at being lied to especially if nada gets to them

before you. That is my opinion.

>

> Hi Everyone.  I am hoping for some sage advice.

>  

> I went NC with my nada last Xmas after she was verbally abusive to

my daughters, at the time 2 & 3 years old.  I have been very happy

with my decision as she has been horribly destructive to my life when

given any opportunity, including trying to get me to divorce my

husband, blaming me for every ill in her life, telling me what a

failure and non-parent I am etc.  I have  a rare brain disease called

PTC and she screeched that I was faking it.  Apparently MRI's and

hospitals lie.  Anyways after YEARS of abuse I ended it and told my

children she had passed away.  Now before you think me rash, please

realize that my nada had been making remarks to my caretaker (have one

bc of my illness) for a year that he should come to her with any issue

with the children so she could build a case of neglect and have them

removed from me and put in her home.  Now what would /you/ do?

>  

> So, my daughter will be 5 this year and in public school.  I don't

want Nada anywhere near her and we live several states away.  But JUST

in case, I don't even want my kids to know she exists.  Period. 

>  

> Now here's my dillema.  She called my cell phone on Thanksgiving

behaving as if we had never stopped talking.  She acts as if nothing

ever happened and says " I don't know what you're so mad about, we love

you, everything is fine.  -Call me! "   It made me angry, but I did

/not/ let it ruin my day.

>  

> We have our new home phone number unlisted.  Partly bc of her.  She

called my caretaker's cell phone and he didn't recognize her number

and actually answered it.  She told him she's sending packages for the

children and myself and she doesn't understand why I'm so mad and how

all is well.  She also demanded to speak with the children.  Of course

he made excuses and politely got her off the phone as quick as he could.

>  

> She is not stupid.  She knows better than to call my husband who

would REAM her.  She knows I will not return her calls and I have her

email blocked.  My caretaker is a good man, but this puts him in a

sensative position too bc now she's trying to go through him.  I don't

want to break my NC to give her ANY attention.

>  

> Thoughts?

>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

You have gotten some good advice.  I am most curious how nada was able to get

your cell phone number.  I did not know there was a listing for cell phones.

 

I am thinking perhaps there is a " leak " somewhere that nada was able to get your

cell phone number.  If this is the case, the " leak " needs to be uncovered and

stopped.

 

blessings, mg