Re: Cherished Holiday Memories!

December 22, 2008

That was a good one!

Ok well I have a Nada mother in law. So my experiences only go a few years back.

Yet, I already have already experienced holiday the bpd way!!

I have 2!

1. Right before thanksgiving this year, the Nada Mil was angry that my husband

(her son) & I would not be going to her house for Thanksgiving. As we are

alternating holidays & families. One with my family, one with his and so on.

Well My H & his Nada got into a screaming & crying match on the phone the Sunday

before Thanksgiving. THe next day she overdosed. ~how's that for holiday cheer?

My Mil Nada spent a few days in a psych facility after that.

2. Last year Thanksgiving again (she must like this time of year!) She entered

her sisters house. She was there for 15min. Started screaming.. " I'm leaving "

She had a few choice words with my H & drove off! She left her husband there. We

droped off nadas husband after dinner. (I thought it was wierd that they could

all sit down to dinner after such drama. ahh little di I know!) So my Mil Nada

was in the fetal position in her bed crying & complaning about her sister. As if

her sister did something wrong! It was all i her head!

As for this year... I am N/C... so i hope there are no new stories this year.

Nerak

Subject: Cherished Holiday Memories!

To: WTOAdultChildren1

Date: Monday, December 22, 2008, 8:56 AM

Greetings, all!

I thought, with the holidays upon us, it would be fun to start a thread of the

nuttiest nada holiday antics. What's the worst, most insanely outrageous thing

your nada ever said or did to ruin a holiday event?

For me, it would be the Christmas Eve dinner about 6 years back when my nada

became engaged in a screaming political argument with my (now-ex) H, called him

a " f***ing a**hole " at the top of her lungs (IN FRONT OF MY YOUNG SON and a

table-full of guests) -- and had to be PHYSICALLY THROWN out of my house.

Merry Christmas!

Best,

S

>

> ------------ --------- --------- ------

>

> Problems? Ask our friendly List Manager for help at

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> Respond ON THE GROUP.

>

> To order the KO bible " Stop Walking on Eggshells, " call 888-35-

> SHELL () for your copy. We also refer to

> “Understanding the Borderline Mother” (Lawson) and “Surviving

> the Borderline Parent,” (Roth) which you can find at any

> bookstore. Welcome to the WTO community!

>

> From Randi Kreger, Owner BPDCentral, WTO Online Community and

> author SWOE and the SWOE Workbook.

December 22, 2008

Wow! I have nothing that spectacular to share, but I do remember

Christmases in general being fraught with anxiety and tension; just

barely enjoyable, if at all.

One pre-Christmas episode stands out, though, back when I was about 12

(Sister: 8) when our nada just exploded into a red-faced, screaming

tantrum at all of us (dad included) because we had brought *all* the

Christmas ornaments down from the attic.

See, nada had about 6 full sets of ornaments all organized by

color-scheme. We'd asked her which set to bring down (because all

decisions had to be nada's) and she couldn't (or wouldn't) decide;

seems to me she was already in some kind of snit. So, we brought them

all down so we could look at them and choose, and for God only knows

what reason, that set nada off. Probably, it was because we didn't do

it *her* way, or wait for *her* decision, I guess. We showed

initiative; how horrible of us.

It must have been a bad rage because I don't remember the conclusion

so I'm guessing it must have frightened me pretty badly. I do

remember avoiding that tree for the rest of the Christmas season, just

looking at it made me sad and anxious.

As an adult, I have never decorated my own home for Christmas although

I do enjoy seeing them around town and at friends' homes. But doing it

myself brings back too many sad feelings, I guess.

It doesn't help that dad died on Christmas day 12 years ago, either.

-Annie

>

> Greetings, all!

>

> I thought, with the holidays upon us, it would be fun to start a

thread of the nuttiest nada holiday antics. What's the worst, most

insanely outrageous thing your nada ever said or did to ruin a holiday

event?

>

> For me, it would be the Christmas Eve dinner about 6 years back when

my nada became engaged in a screaming political argument with my

(now-ex) H, called him a " f***ing a**hole " at the top of her lungs (IN

FRONT OF MY YOUNG SON and a table-full of guests) -- and had to be

PHYSICALLY THROWN out of my house.

>

> Merry Christmas!

>

> Best,

>

> S

>

> >

> > ------------------------------------

> >

> > Problems? Ask our friendly List Manager for help at

> > @... SEND HER ANY POSTS THAT CONCERN YOU; DO NOT

> > Respond ON THE GROUP.

> >

> > To order the KO bible " Stop Walking on Eggshells, " call 888-35-

> > SHELL () for your copy. We also refer to

> > " Understanding the Borderline Mother " (Lawson) and " Surviving

> > the Borderline Parent, " (Roth) which you can find at any

> > bookstore. Welcome to the WTO community!

> >

> > From Randi Kreger, Owner BPDCentral, WTO Online Community and

> > author SWOE and the SWOE Workbook.

December 22, 2008

>

> Subject: Cherished Holiday Memories!

> To: WTOAdultChildren1

> Date: Monday, December 22, 2008, 8:56 AM

>

> Greetings, all!

>

> I thought, with the holidays upon us, it would be fun to start a

thread of the nuttiest nada holiday antics. What's the worst, most

insanely outrageous thing your nada ever said or did to ruin a holiday

event?

>

> For me, it would be the Christmas Eve dinner about 6 years back when

my nada became engaged in a screaming political argument with my

(now-ex) H, called him a " f***ing a**hole " at the top of her lungs (IN

FRONT OF MY YOUNG SON and a table-full of guests) -- and had to be

PHYSICALLY THROWN out of my house.

>

> Merry Christmas!

>

> Best,

>

> S

>

> >

> > ------------ --------- --------- ------

> >

Hello everyone!

My nada pulls something every year. You know how during a presidential

election people anticipate " The October Surprise " ? Well in my family

we call my Nada's antics the " December Surprise " . Every year in

December we know it's coming but no one knows what it's going to be...

somehow she will make an attempt to sabotage the Holidays. This year

(just last night) it was a drunken phone rampage late at night! She

called everyone in MY family (my father's side and husband's family)

and basically rambled on about how horrible we are all (that's the

christmas spirit, right?). Luckily everyone knows and expects it and

comes to no surprise.

~

December 22, 2008

I had the holiday circle of bitching last night. See if you can follow - I

am not married but living with my BF for several years, so I will just used

married abbreviations.

I got Grandmother-in -Law a picture of her and bf for Hanuakkah....

so I was told by BF that SIL would be bitching at BIL because I got GMIL a

gift. (I dont get it, GMIL is quite evil, but I try to be nice, she's 96)

MIL was bitching because GMIL was bitching and then said that my BF was her

favorite.

GMIL was bitching because she hates New Jersey and Brooklyn is the promised

land

FIL was bitching because SIL isn't working and spends like crazy and is a

lazy parent

SIL was bitching because - well, she exists, and her " bitch " of a 13 year

old daughter isn't motivated to do her homework (gee, wonder why?)

Nephew-in-law was bitching because his grandmother (my MIL) gave him a gift

that was on someone else's list and SIL didn't tell him that was rude - he's

only SIX after all.

Niece-in-law was bitching because all anyone does is yell at her

GMIL was clinging to the " OS " handle in the car on the way home and bitching

and moaning about BF's driving and telling him to go slower not rush. BF

was driving the SPEED LIMIT. This is NEW JERSEY, drive slow and you get run

over!

Yet none of these people would say a single word of it to anyone's face.

Jewish families are the WORST (and I am jewish and part of my own

nightmare, but we live too far apart to celebrate holidays together!)

YAY! That was a good vent!

December 22, 2008

Holidays the bpd way... Oh yes I have had many! Both my sister and I

feel very ambivalent towards Christmas bc of all the bad memories

that cling to it.

I still carry the traces of one such event on my body. There was a

Christmas celebration with my aunt's family one year, I was about

eigth or nine years old. After they've left, my mother starts raging,

I don't remember the reason, if there was any. We are together

cleaning up the mess from the dinner together and so, and outside she

smashes some of our christmas presents into thousands of pieces.

There were two little snowmen out of glass and they lay on the stone

yard, shattered into thousands of pieces of glass. I crouched and

started to clean up the pieces because she ordered me to do so. I am

sobbing uncontrolled because I am so disappointed about the Christmas

all gone wrong; and that irritates her also because of 'what will the

neighbors say?' and she makes a sudden movement to slap me into my

face or on my head. Because I am crouching on my feet, and because of

the sudden move and the slapping that I try to avoid, I lose my

balance and sit down with my knees into the broken glass. And I still

have the scars of that night. Pain and disillusion, that sums up many

of my Christmas experiences.

Another one is, I was much older, already 17 or so, when she did not

want to do anything for X-mas and I decided to try to make up for it

all and prepared a festive dinner with salmon; and when we were

sitting at the table she walked in pale as a ghost and with her

dangerous gaze, and threw all the food into the garbage bin, without

a word.

Another one, again a Christmas that she decided we would not have,

and yet I tried and brought home a big and beautiful Christmas tree,

and my welcoming when she opened the door and saw the tree was --

well, guess what? ... I don't need to tell.

This year, it's different and yet she managed to create crisis once

more. Last Friday, my father came home earlier than expected and just

like in the bad soap series on TV, found out on my mother and her

lover, in his own house...

Yeah, yeah, Merry, merry Christmas, like every year...

Very much fed up with it. Feeling like throwing all my Christmas

decorations out of the window right now. Anyone joining me??

Katrina

>

> Greetings, all!

>

> I thought, with the holidays upon us, it would be fun to start a

thread of the nuttiest nada holiday antics. What's the worst, most

insanely outrageous thing your nada ever said or did to ruin a

holiday event?

>

> For me, it would be the Christmas Eve dinner about 6 years back

when my nada became engaged in a screaming political argument with my

(now-ex) H, called him a " f***ing a**hole " at the top of her lungs

(IN FRONT OF MY YOUNG SON and a table-full of guests) -- and had to

be PHYSICALLY THROWN out of my house.

>

> Merry Christmas!

>

> Best,

>

> S

>

> >

> > ------------------------------------

> >

> > Problems? Ask our friendly List Manager for help at

> > @... SEND HER ANY POSTS THAT CONCERN YOU; DO NOT

> > Respond ON THE GROUP.

> >

> > To order the KO bible " Stop Walking on Eggshells, " call 888-35-

> > SHELL () for your copy. We also refer to

> > " Understanding the Borderline Mother " (Lawson) and " Surviving

> > the Borderline Parent, " (Roth) which you can find at any

> > bookstore. Welcome to the WTO community!

> >

> > From Randi Kreger, Owner BPDCentral, WTO Online Community and

> > author SWOE and the SWOE Workbook.

December 22, 2008

I got a good one.

One Christmas as a child. In age I would have been around 7ish,

brothers were probably 8, and 10 ish. Post divorce, so no father

around just Nada and her unfortunate children. Early Christmas

morning, the three of us kids went downstairs and began opening our

gifts and didn't think to wake up nada. We were too young to

understand that we should wake her, and she always threw rage fits

anyway... so we just went ahead and openened our gifts without

really thinking about it. Later she came downstairs and saw that she

missed us opening the gifts. She went into a blind rage and screamed

at us for what seemed like forever. Saying that we'd " RUINED HER

Christmas " over and over again. Then she stormed upstairs and pouted

while chain smoking in her room alone. Us kids just went on with our

morning as though nothing unusual had happened, because it

hadn't. !!

Crazy people, ugh. Lol

>

> Greetings, all!

>

> I thought, with the holidays upon us, it would be fun to start a

thread of the nuttiest nada holiday antics. What's the worst, most

insanely outrageous thing your nada ever said or did to ruin a

holiday event?

>

> For me, it would be the Christmas Eve dinner about 6 years back

when my nada became engaged in a screaming political argument with

my (now-ex) H, called him a " f***ing a**hole " at the top of her

lungs (IN FRONT OF MY YOUNG SON and a table-full of guests) -- and

had to be PHYSICALLY THROWN out of my house.

>

> Merry Christmas!

>

> Best,

>

> S

>

> >

> > ------------------------------------

> >

> > Problems? Ask our friendly List Manager for help at

> > @... SEND HER ANY POSTS THAT CONCERN YOU; DO NOT

> > Respond ON THE GROUP.

> >

> > To order the KO bible " Stop Walking on Eggshells, " call 888-35-

> > SHELL () for your copy. We also refer to

> > " Understanding the Borderline Mother " (Lawson) and " Surviving

> > the Borderline Parent, " (Roth) which you can find at any

> > bookstore. Welcome to the WTO community!

> >

> > From Randi Kreger, Owner BPDCentral, WTO Online Community and

> > author SWOE and the SWOE Workbook.

December 22, 2008

Chirstmas afternoon, I was in high school. We were playing a game......the

house across the street caught fire. We went to the door, watched a short

while, then were instructed to come back to the table and finish the game.

These poor people, losing everything on Christmas afternoon, and her attitude

was that it was mildly interesting distraction. After all, it wasn't HER house,

and it was taking away from HER planned activity. It still amazes me how cold

she could be.

Subject: Re: Cherished Holiday Memories!

To: WTOAdultChildren1

Date: Monday, December 22, 2008, 3:39 PM