Guest guest Posted December 8, 2008 Report Share Posted December 8, 2008 Hi, I've been reading what you've written and so much of it resonates I am pretty sure my mother has BPD but you've all been focusing on going LC or NC and I wanted to ask if any of your BPD parents have gone NC themselves? My mother cut me off about 5 months ago when I refused to disinvite my father from my doctoral graduation. Since then she has also cut off my brother. She saw my dad last week (having spend 16 years refusing to be in his company, she has now agreed to meet him 3 times since going NC with me and my brother) and told him she can't be bothered with me and my brother because we are too much trouble and don't support her enough. She seems to think we exist to support her, even though we don't live in the same city, have full time jobs and 2 small children each. We are now obviously in her bad books and she says she's had enough of us (and our kids, whom she used to be obsessed with) to last the rest of her life. i was just wondering if anyone else has had experience with their parent going NC. I would actually like some contact wiht her, but obviously not on her terms. Thanks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 8, 2008 Report Share Posted December 8, 2008 I haven't gone NC with my nada but I am struggling to find a balanced way to set boundaries and limit my contact with her to my comfort level. But my nada does lash out at me for not being " supportive " of her or playing into her drama. Like your mother, she also seems to think that I exist solely to support her and to feel sorry for her when things don't go her way. And if I have a part in things not going her way, then I automatically turn into a bad person to her. The best advice I can give is to try and figure out a way, if its even possible, to have contact with her but on your terms. It takes a lot of strength and you have to be able to accept that although she may say or do things that will hurt you, anything you say to her probably won't change her behavior. You just need to be able to have power over your own actions and uphold your boundaries regardless of whether she makes you feel guilty, etc. That's what I'm struggling with now. > > Hi, > > I've been reading what you've written and so much of it resonates I am > pretty sure my mother has BPD but you've all been focusing on going LC or > NC and I wanted to ask if any of your BPD parents have gone NC themselves? > My mother cut me off about 5 months ago when I refused to disinvite my > father from my doctoral graduation. Since then she has also cut off my > brother. She saw my dad last week (having spend 16 years refusing to be in > his company, she has now agreed to meet him 3 times since going NC with me > and my brother) and told him she can't be bothered with me and my brother > because we are too much trouble and don't support her enough. She seems to > think we exist to support her, even though we don't live in the same city, > have full time jobs and 2 small children each. We are now obviously in her > bad books and she says she's had enough of us (and our kids, whom she used > to be obsessed with) to last the rest of her life. i was just wondering if > anyone else has had experience with their parent going NC. I would > actually like some contact wiht her, but obviously not on her terms. > > Thanks. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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