Happy Holidays....Not

[Guest guest]

Thanksgiving dinner, was more then interesting this year. I had my

combat gear on the whole time.

It started with combatting the crazy behavior from my NP husband,

and verbal abuse towards me. I had been asking for 2 months, and not

nagging- because that results in more verbal attacks back on me, for

two rugs shampooed and 3 windows on the outside washed to be

completed for Thanksgiving. 2 days before the one room was

shampooed, and the furniture from the living room was piled on to my

dinning room table. I heard I promise we will be ready for

Thanksgivng morning. Not.

So I told him just help me get the rooms back. It was about 10:30

that morning- with company and dinner needing to be finished by 2:30-

I just wanted to enjoy the day and not be rushing around.

No, he insisted on finishing the job. It was pretty awful- with his

anger at me flying- because I am never happy with him, no matter

what he does. It is now 2:10 - and some how my downstairs is back

to normal, meal is almost done- and my husband is pounding on the

windows for me to help him clean them all and the screens. I had

told him early it was ok, he could do it another day. That point I

couldn't help him now with windows. He gets off the ladder comes in

now it 2:15- and start screaming- " I never make you happy no matter

what I do. "

I responded, " Look I want them done, but not now 15 minutes

before company coming " . Which gets from him- " DOn't start with me, I

don't want to hear it from you. " Which is his response for my words

or feelings that don't agree with him. So I say, please stop telling

me how to feel, I don't want to do this now. " Which his response is-

" Fuck you, Malinda " - slams the door and leaves.

At that point the front door bell is ringing and company is early.

Somehow- I pulled it together. Dinner- was tasty, but my daughter

brought her new boyfriend. My father kepts cursing- and saying f---

this and that, like it was funny. He would always do that when I

brought new friends home- the whole cursing thing like it was funny.

I couldn't get him to stop.

My nada asked ALOT of questions and when her boyfriend left, my

mother literally cornered her with wanting to know every details

about this man- their relationship, his parents, his grandparents.

It was like the Spanish inquistion. I felt so bad for my daughter.

My nada's final comment to my daughter was - " I looked really

hard to find fault with your new boyfriend, but I couldn't find any. "

Who says that.

Later that evening, my nada told me how much she liked my

daughter's new boyfriend. I said I agree, and she told me how lucky

I was that my daughter found a nice man. She then said, " Unlike the

a--hole you brought home to us. " He was an a--hole, then and will

always be. " She also said she was robbed of not having a decent son-

inlaw. "

Oh I am not done- the final piece of my holiday, was sitting

around talking about this winter season- and our area this year

getting more snow. Most people were happy about that- I don't care.

My nada's reaponse' " That is terrible I will have to spend more

money having to have someone shovel my snow. " Hello- I used to

shovel my parents house. I did it for about 23 years, and I finally

told them about 3 years- I can't do it anymore. So that was another

dig at me.

Friday morning between my Np husband and Bp mother- I was

physically and emotionally exhausted. I couldn't get out of bed. My

husband 's anger had been building over the past several days- so

that is what he does...and nada is just a hurtful and crazy woman..

And as I say to myself all the time lately- " What about ME? "

Thanks for letting me ramble....and I just can't wait for

Christmas.

Malinda