Re: fight or flight

[Guest guest]

I had my first (and hopefully only) panic attack when I was about to

drive over the Oakland Bridge the first time. I was just out driving

around for fun, seeing the area, and had just driven over the Golden

Gate Bridge with no problem, but *something* about the Oakland Bridge

triggered a panic attack, and it was all I could do to drive safely

across that bridge nearly blind with tunnel-vision, feeling like I was

going to pass out because I couldn't stop hyperventilating, and almost

frozen solid with muscle rigidity. It was horrible, but I (obviously)

made it, and never went near that bridge again!

Like you, I felt like I had left my body, and part of me was observing

and commenting on the experience ( " Oh wow, this must be what a panic

attack is! " ) while the other part was in abject terror.

Now, many years later, I get little twinges of panic if I have to

drive over any bridge, but I figured out a trick for getting over them

and so far, so good.

All I can guess is that something about certain stretches of road (for

you) or something about that particular bridge (for me) is a trigger;

it reminds us of something else.

Perhaps our nadas were particularly scary and abusive while driving us

in those kinds of situations (or screaming abuse at us as we were

attempting to drive safely in a similar situation) and we have

forgotten the specific incident, but our bodies remember the panic we

felt at the time when we see this visual cue?

-Annie

> i have panic attacks, but only while driving, and only while driving

on the interstate.  it baffles me. i can drive 65 miles an hour on a

country road with no problem.  if i drive on the interstate going 65

mph i start to feel hot and cold at the same time...then i feel

lightheaded, then a whoosh comes over me and i feel unreal and " out of

my body " .  that's when i look for an exit.  i'm so scared i'll cause a

wreck although i have never caused a wreck during a panic episode.   i

avoid driving in the interstate which keeps me from having panic

attacks, but it also keeps me from feeling fully self-sufficient.  

>  

> i have read about panic disorders but still can't get a handle on

why this keeps happening.  i get that my " fight or flight " wiring is

messed up from having been  in a prolonged hypervigilant state as a kid. 

>  

> i do have plenty of bad memories of being in the car as a child with

nada and being terrified.  she would take me on stalking missions at

night..both of us in our nightgowns.  she would drive past people's

houses and spy on them.  she would sometimes talk or laugh to

herself.  i couldn't see over the dash, but i could tell she was

driving too fast, or swerving.    i will not be a passenger in a car

with her now.  i cannot remember the last time i was a passenger in a

car with her.  maybe 15 years ago? 

>  

> my question is....i am aware of this connection, so why do they

still happen?  do you think it is purely chemical?  they don't happen

when i would think they should...like while i'm on the phone with

nada, or when i know i have to see nada.  anyone have similar

experiences?  any insight?

>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

I am so glad other people have these. I have PTSD, as you may have guessed from

my other posts. The experience is like a prolonged Panic Attack. How long do

your attacks last?

Mine sort of build up. I just realized this recently, by reading a book called

Trauma and Recovery, and reading posts on here. One post by Grace in particular

made me understand so much suddenly, big A-ha moment. My panic begins with an

irritable feeling that builds up over several days, and then it hits a big time

high, and I lash out at someone close to me. THen it takes me several days or

some serious event to snap out of it again.

During that time, which can last 5 days, I am there, but it is like a fog or a

smoke is hanging over me, and everything is distorted. I understand everything

and everyone is out to attack me, and I lash out.

Mostly, I lash out at people who are living close to me, although I have had

the irritability out in public, and lashed out at people who I dont' know well.

It's really strange. I am not sure what triggers me. My T suggested that if I

can't identify a specific trigger, then it might also be a fear. I think my

fears have to do with perfection. If I didn't present myself as perfect to the

rest of the world, nada woudl abuse me (because I was an extension of her, so if

I wasn't perfect, then what was she, right? Obviously...)

I haven't really deciphered it all. I am so impressed that you on this thread

seem to know when you are triggered, what situations trigger you. I wish I had

more insight along those lines.

I don't know if it is a specific trigger. It definitely builds over several

days, and it takes me days to get out of it. I wish I understood this more. I

guess maybe in PTSD, it's not so much a specific trigger, as your mind is stuck

in another time and event than the present??

My humble Thanks

Your friend,

Walking to

From you friend

" WALKING TO HAPPINESS " .

May we all walk towards happiness...