Re: another book rec: Will I Ever Be Good Enough

[Guest guest]

Wow. Yes to all except #7--I never questioned it because I never

really cared.

>

> This book is for daughters raised by narcissist mothers, the damage

> that does, and how to start healing from it.

>

> The whole title is:

>

> " Will I Ever Be Good Enough? Healing the Daughters of Narcissistic

> Mothers " by Karyl McBride, Ph.D.

>

> Dr. McBride has an active practice in Colorado; I wish I lived

there

> so I could consult her!

>

> At her website there is a checklist of

feelings/situations/behaviors

> that indicate narcissist traits, and my nada fits most of the 30

> listed. I sensed that my nada has a lot of n-traits, and this

> certainly tends to confirm my belief.

>

> Here's part of the checklist, and you can find the rest at her

website:

> http://www.nevergoodenough.com/survey.asp

>

> " Narcissism is a spectrum disorder with the most severe end of the

> spectrum considered a narcissistic personality disorder. A woman

can

> have several narcissistic traits and not fit the personality

disorder.

> Mothers with only a few traits listed can negatively affect their

> daughters in insidious ways which is explained in Dr. McBride's

book.

>

> (Check all those that apply to your relationship with your mother)

> Please feel free to print this page

>

> 1. When you discuss your life issues with your mother, does she or

did

> she divert the discussion to talk about herself?

>

> 2. When you discuss your feelings with your mother, does she or did

> she try to top the feeling with her own?

>

> 3. Does or did your mother act jealous of you?

>

> 4. Does or did your mother lack empathy for your feelings?

>

> 5. Does or did your mother only support those things you do that

> reflect on her as a " good mother " ?

>

> 6. Have you consistently felt a lack of emotional closeness with

your

> mother?

>

> 7. Have you consistently questioned whether or not your mother

likes

> you or loves you?

>

> 8. Does or did your mother only do things for you when others can

see?

>

> 9. When something happens in your life (accident, illness,

divorce),

> does or did your mother react with how it will affect her rather

than

> how you feel?

>

> 10. Is or was your mother overly conscious of what others think

> (neighbors, friends, family, co-workers)?

>

> So far, my answer is " ...yes! "

>

> -Annie

>

[Guest guest]

Wow ... I answered a resounding YES for every single one of those!!  I am going

to have to discuss this with my therapist.  I'm still reeling ... wow.

________________________________

To: WTOAdultChildren1

Sent: Wednesday, December 10, 2008 9:24:42 AM

Subject: another book rec: " Will I Ever Be Good Enough "

This book is for daughters raised by narcissist mothers, the damage

that does, and how to start healing from it.

The whole title is:

" Will I Ever Be Good Enough? Healing the Daughters of Narcissistic

Mothers " by Karyl McBride, Ph.D.

Dr. McBride has an active practice in Colorado; I wish I lived there

so I could consult her!

At her website there is a checklist of feelings/situations /behaviors

that indicate narcissist traits, and my nada fits most of the 30

listed. I sensed that my nada has a lot of n-traits, and this

certainly tends to confirm my belief.

Here's part of the checklist, and you can find the rest at her website:

http://www.nevergoo denough.com/ survey.asp

" Narcissism is a spectrum disorder with the most severe end of the

spectrum considered a narcissistic personality disorder. A woman can

have several narcissistic traits and not fit the personality disorder.

Mothers with only a few traits listed can negatively affect their

daughters in insidious ways which is explained in Dr. McBride's book.

(Check all those that apply to your relationship with your mother)

Please feel free to print this page

1. When you discuss your life issues with your mother, does she or did

she divert the discussion to talk about herself?

2. When you discuss your feelings with your mother, does she or did

she try to top the feeling with her own?

3. Does or did your mother act jealous of you?

4. Does or did your mother lack empathy for your feelings?

5. Does or did your mother only support those things you do that

reflect on her as a " good mother " ?

6. Have you consistently felt a lack of emotional closeness with your

mother?

7. Have you consistently questioned whether or not your mother likes

you or loves you?

8. Does or did your mother only do things for you when others can see?

9. When something happens in your life (accident, illness, divorce),

does or did your mother react with how it will affect her rather than

how you feel?

10. Is or was your mother overly conscious of what others think

(neighbors, friends, family, co-workers)?

So far, my answer is " ...yes! "

-Annie

[Guest guest]

This book looks wonderful, thanks Annie for posting about it. I

said yes to almost all the questions on the list. Wish I lived in

Colorado!

>

> This book is for daughters raised by narcissist mothers, the damage

> that does, and how to start healing from it.

>

> The whole title is:

>

> " Will I Ever Be Good Enough? Healing the Daughters of Narcissistic

> Mothers " by Karyl McBride, Ph.D.

>

> Dr. McBride has an active practice in Colorado; I wish I lived there

> so I could consult her!

>

> At her website there is a checklist of feelings/situations/behaviors

> that indicate narcissist traits, and my nada fits most of the 30

> listed. I sensed that my nada has a lot of n-traits, and this

> certainly tends to confirm my belief.

>

> Here's part of the checklist, and you can find the rest at her

website:

> http://www.nevergoodenough.com/survey.asp

>

> " Narcissism is a spectrum disorder with the most severe end of the

> spectrum considered a narcissistic personality disorder. A woman can

> have several narcissistic traits and not fit the personality

disorder.

> Mothers with only a few traits listed can negatively affect their

> daughters in insidious ways which is explained in Dr. McBride's

book.

>

> (Check all those that apply to your relationship with your mother)

> Please feel free to print this page

>

> 1. When you discuss your life issues with your mother, does she or

did

> she divert the discussion to talk about herself?

>

> 2. When you discuss your feelings with your mother, does she or did

> she try to top the feeling with her own?

>

> 3. Does or did your mother act jealous of you?

>

> 4. Does or did your mother lack empathy for your feelings?

>

> 5. Does or did your mother only support those things you do that

> reflect on her as a " good mother " ?

>

> 6. Have you consistently felt a lack of emotional closeness with

your

> mother?

>

> 7. Have you consistently questioned whether or not your mother likes

> you or loves you?

>

> 8. Does or did your mother only do things for you when others can

see?

>

> 9. When something happens in your life (accident, illness, divorce),

> does or did your mother react with how it will affect her rather

than

> how you feel?

>

> 10. Is or was your mother overly conscious of what others think

> (neighbors, friends, family, co-workers)?

>

> So far, my answer is " ...yes! "

>

> -Annie

>

[Guest guest]

wow...the only one i couldn't check was 21. she doesn't know the

real me at all.

bink

>

> This book is for daughters raised by narcissist mothers, the damage

> that does, and how to start healing from it.

>

> The whole title is:

>

> " Will I Ever Be Good Enough? Healing the Daughters of Narcissistic

> Mothers " by Karyl McBride, Ph.D.

>

> Dr. McBride has an active practice in Colorado; I wish I lived there

> so I could consult her!

>

> At her website there is a checklist of feelings/situations/behaviors

> that indicate narcissist traits, and my nada fits most of the 30

> listed. I sensed that my nada has a lot of n-traits, and this

> certainly tends to confirm my belief.

>

> Here's part of the checklist, and you can find the rest at her

website:

> http://www.nevergoodenough.com/survey.asp

>

> " Narcissism is a spectrum disorder with the most severe end of the

> spectrum considered a narcissistic personality disorder. A woman can

> have several narcissistic traits and not fit the personality

disorder.

> Mothers with only a few traits listed can negatively affect their

> daughters in insidious ways which is explained in Dr. McBride's

book.

>

> (Check all those that apply to your relationship with your mother)

> Please feel free to print this page

>

> 1. When you discuss your life issues with your mother, does she or

did

> she divert the discussion to talk about herself?

>

> 2. When you discuss your feelings with your mother, does she or did

> she try to top the feeling with her own?

>

> 3. Does or did your mother act jealous of you?

>

> 4. Does or did your mother lack empathy for your feelings?

>

> 5. Does or did your mother only support those things you do that

> reflect on her as a " good mother " ?

>

> 6. Have you consistently felt a lack of emotional closeness with

your

> mother?

>

> 7. Have you consistently questioned whether or not your mother likes

> you or loves you?

>

> 8. Does or did your mother only do things for you when others can

see?

>

> 9. When something happens in your life (accident, illness, divorce),

> does or did your mother react with how it will affect her rather

than

> how you feel?

>

> 10. Is or was your mother overly conscious of what others think

> (neighbors, friends, family, co-workers)?

>

> So far, my answer is " ...yes! "

>

> -Annie

>

[Guest guest]

Well, I checked all but 3 on the full list.

More later.

Sigh.

Lynnette

>

> This book is for daughters raised by narcissist mothers, the damage

> that does, and how to start healing from it.

>

> The whole title is:

>

> " Will I Ever Be Good Enough? Healing the Daughters of Narcissistic

> Mothers " by Karyl McBride, Ph.D.

>

> Dr. McBride has an active practice in Colorado; I wish I lived there

> so I could consult her!

>

> At her website there is a checklist of feelings/situations/behaviors

> that indicate narcissist traits, and my nada fits most of the 30

> listed. I sensed that my nada has a lot of n-traits, and this

> certainly tends to confirm my belief.

>

> Here's part of the checklist, and you can find the rest at her

website:

> http://www.nevergoodenough.com/survey.asp

>

> " Narcissism is a spectrum disorder with the most severe end of the

> spectrum considered a narcissistic personality disorder. A woman can

> have several narcissistic traits and not fit the personality

disorder.

> Mothers with only a few traits listed can negatively affect their

> daughters in insidious ways which is explained in Dr. McBride's

book.

>

> (Check all those that apply to your relationship with your mother)

> Please feel free to print this page

>

> 1. When you discuss your life issues with your mother, does she or

did

> she divert the discussion to talk about herself?

>

> 2. When you discuss your feelings with your mother, does she or did

> she try to top the feeling with her own?

>

> 3. Does or did your mother act jealous of you?

>

> 4. Does or did your mother lack empathy for your feelings?

>

> 5. Does or did your mother only support those things you do that

> reflect on her as a " good mother " ?

>

> 6. Have you consistently felt a lack of emotional closeness with

your

> mother?

>

> 7. Have you consistently questioned whether or not your mother likes

> you or loves you?

>

> 8. Does or did your mother only do things for you when others can

see?

>

> 9. When something happens in your life (accident, illness, divorce),

> does or did your mother react with how it will affect her rather

than

> how you feel?

>

> 10. Is or was your mother overly conscious of what others think

> (neighbors, friends, family, co-workers)?

>

> So far, my answer is " ...yes! "

>

> -Annie

>

[Guest guest]

More and more it seems to me that the lines separating the various

" Cluster B " personality disorders are kind of fuzzy. Either that, or

its more common than I thought for individuals to have

" co-morbidities " . I checked nearly all the " n-traits " RE my nada in

that list too.

Makes me wonder if future research and studies will show that all the

" Cluster B " pds are really all the same mental illness, just at

different levels of strength? Like, bpds are at the diluted end of the

spectrum, and psychopaths at the full-strength end?

The key point that struck me at that website was the statement that

even the mothers who exhibit only some narcissist traits can still do

profound damage to their daughters. And I'm sure to their sons as

well, just a different flavor of damage but equally bad. (My guess is

that narcissist mothers brainwash their sons into being virtual

" husbands " , using/draining them for emotional and financial support.)

-Annie

> >

> > This book is for daughters raised by narcissist mothers, the damage

> > that does, and how to start healing from it.

> >

> > The whole title is:

> >

> > " Will I Ever Be Good Enough? Healing the Daughters of Narcissistic

> > Mothers " by Karyl McBride, Ph.D.

> >

> > Dr. McBride has an active practice in Colorado; I wish I lived there

> > so I could consult her!

> >

> > At her website there is a checklist of feelings/situations/behaviors

> > that indicate narcissist traits, and my nada fits most of the 30

> > listed. I sensed that my nada has a lot of n-traits, and this

> > certainly tends to confirm my belief.

> >

> > Here's part of the checklist, and you can find the rest at her

> website:

> > http://www.nevergoodenough.com/survey.asp

> >

> > " Narcissism is a spectrum disorder with the most severe end of the

> > spectrum considered a narcissistic personality disorder. A woman can

> > have several narcissistic traits and not fit the personality

> disorder.

> > Mothers with only a few traits listed can negatively affect their

> > daughters in insidious ways which is explained in Dr. McBride's

> book.

> >

> > (Check all those that apply to your relationship with your mother)

> > Please feel free to print this page

> >

> > 1. When you discuss your life issues with your mother, does she or

> did

> > she divert the discussion to talk about herself?

> >

> > 2. When you discuss your feelings with your mother, does she or did

> > she try to top the feeling with her own?

> >

> > 3. Does or did your mother act jealous of you?

> >

> > 4. Does or did your mother lack empathy for your feelings?

> >

> > 5. Does or did your mother only support those things you do that

> > reflect on her as a " good mother " ?

> >

> > 6. Have you consistently felt a lack of emotional closeness with

> your

> > mother?

> >

> > 7. Have you consistently questioned whether or not your mother likes

> > you or loves you?

> >

> > 8. Does or did your mother only do things for you when others can

> see?

> >

> > 9. When something happens in your life (accident, illness, divorce),

> > does or did your mother react with how it will affect her rather

> than

> > how you feel?

> >

> > 10. Is or was your mother overly conscious of what others think

> > (neighbors, friends, family, co-workers)?

> >

> > So far, my answer is " ...yes! "

> >

> > -Annie

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Yes to all 10.

> >

> > This book is for daughters raised by narcissist mothers, the damage

> > that does, and how to start healing from it.

> >

> > The whole title is:

> >

> > " Will I Ever Be Good Enough? Healing the Daughters of Narcissistic

> > Mothers " by Karyl McBride, Ph.D.

> >

> > Dr. McBride has an active practice in Colorado; I wish I lived

> there

> > so I could consult her!

> >

> > At her website there is a checklist of

> feelings/situations/behaviors

> > that indicate narcissist traits, and my nada fits most of the 30

> > listed. I sensed that my nada has a lot of n-traits, and this

> > certainly tends to confirm my belief.

> >

> > Here's part of the checklist, and you can find the rest at her

> website:

> > http://www.nevergoodenough.com/survey.asp

> >

> > " Narcissism is a spectrum disorder with the most severe end of the

> > spectrum considered a narcissistic personality disorder. A woman

> can

> > have several narcissistic traits and not fit the personality

> disorder.

> > Mothers with only a few traits listed can negatively affect their

> > daughters in insidious ways which is explained in Dr. McBride's

> book.

> >

> > (Check all those that apply to your relationship with your mother)

> > Please feel free to print this page

> >

> > 1. When you discuss your life issues with your mother, does she or

> did

> > she divert the discussion to talk about herself?

> >

> > 2. When you discuss your feelings with your mother, does she or did

> > she try to top the feeling with her own?

> >

> > 3. Does or did your mother act jealous of you?

> >

> > 4. Does or did your mother lack empathy for your feelings?

> >

> > 5. Does or did your mother only support those things you do that

> > reflect on her as a " good mother " ?

> >

> > 6. Have you consistently felt a lack of emotional closeness with

> your

> > mother?

> >

> > 7. Have you consistently questioned whether or not your mother

> likes

> > you or loves you?

> >

> > 8. Does or did your mother only do things for you when others can

> see?

> >

> > 9. When something happens in your life (accident, illness,

> divorce),

> > does or did your mother react with how it will affect her rather

> than

> > how you feel?

> >

> > 10. Is or was your mother overly conscious of what others think

> > (neighbors, friends, family, co-workers)?

> >

> > So far, my answer is " ...yes! "

> >

> > -Annie

> >

>