Guest guest Posted December 10, 2008 Report Share Posted December 10, 2008 Not all states have laws protecting grandparents' rights. Ask your husband to check and see what the laws are in your state. Please keep us posted and let us know how this develops! S Re: Nada got a lawyer To: WTOAdultChildren1 > You have just described the worst-case scenario: bpds who are also > powerful, influential, rich, and hostile to you. > > Its just a Godsend that your husband is also a lawyer, he knows the > territory and will be your best defense against your malignant nada. > I think all you can do at this point is to follow his lead. Do > not do > anything that will make you appear to be over-reacting. > > If indeed it winds up that you must expose your children to > nada, make > sure it is *on your terms*: > > give nada clear guidelines on what may be discussed, and specify no > criticism of the children or you, their parents. > > supervised visits only, and make sure that there is a third party > there besides yourself as a witness, and > > make sure that all visits are taped. > > That will do two things: > > 1.Allowing supervised visitation will show that you are willing to > compromise and allow contact; i.e., you are not irrational. > > 2.It will force nada to be kind and gentle during her visits > with your > children, because if she says hurtful things to them or refuses to > follow your wishes and denies having violated your rules, it > will all > be witnessed and recorded. > > -Annie > > > > > > > Ugh. I've been NC for over a year now following an episode > where > > nada called my daughter " hideous " and told my kids that they > looked > > like orphans, and the subsequent insults, attacks, and denials > when > > I told her not to do that. Well, my husband (an attorney) got > an e- > > mail today from an attorney from another firm who is a long- > time > > family friend of nada/dad (actually a classmate of my sister). > I'll > > just copy the e-mail here: > > > > " Hi [hubby] - thanks for the chance to visit a few minutes > ago. I > > don't know, and don't need to know, the background on the > issues, > > but I know you and [writermanque] are really good people, and > I've > > know [Dad] and [nada] forever and they are really good people, > and > > they would love to be able to see you, [writermanque] and the > kids > > again if possible. I don't claim to be any good at things > like > > this, but I care, and would like to help in any way possible > to > > hopefully open some lines of communication. Thanks for listening. " > > > > I realize that he hasn't been formally " retained " on their > behalf, > > at least it doesn't appear to be the case. I do think, > however, > > that their choice of this particular intermediary who happens > to be > > a lawyer is a veiled threat. This is the type of thing they > do, but > > when you call them on it they say " Oh, we just chose him > because he > > and [hubby] are colleagues... " > > > > I feel sick to my stomach right now. The emotional part of me > wants > > to send him a three-page reply detailing all of the BS that > nada has > > pulled. The rational part of me knows that I should just > politely > > say it's none of his business. The mother bear part of me is > > FREAKING OUT as I keep having this irrational fear that > they're > > going to come after my kids, and since I'm far from a perfect > mom > > and they have such a friggin' hypocritical but pristine public > > perception that they might prevail--not in getting custody, > but in > > getting limited visitation, and I'll be forced to WATCH my > kids get > > manipulated and see my fiendish nada get her way, no matter > what my > > wishes are. > > > > Help!?! > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 11, 2008 Report Share Posted December 11, 2008 The lawyer thin is a concern. my husband & i do not have any kids yet. BUT I have heard my husbands nada talk about getting a lawyer in order to have visitation rights to her step grandchild. I think this is BS. & Im not sure if legally they can do this. It puts you in a bad position. As you would then have to prove that she is BPD in the court system. An ordeal that I'm sure would send her over the edge. I would conult a lawyer of your own, just to check on the laws & see if she has a le to stand on. Good Luck. Keep the boundries up. This is anoher time in your life that nada cn not be trusted. Nerak Subject: Re: Nada got a lawyer To: WTOAdultChildren1 Date: Wednesday, December 10, 2008, 10:20 PM > > " Hi [hubby] - thanks for the chance to visit a few minutes ago. I > don't know, and don't need to know, the background on the issues, > but I know you and [writermanque] are really good people, and I've > know [Dad] and [nada] forever and they are really good people, and > they would love to be able to see you, [writermanque] and the kids > again if possible. I don't claim to be any good at things like > this, but I care, and would like to help in any way possible to > hopefully open some lines of communication. Thanks for listening. " > Reply: " Dear [family friend], Thank you for your concern. However, we do not need your help at this time. It is good to know that if we ever do, we will be able to call you. " Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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