Re: It's beginning to look a lot like crap

[Guest guest]

Buy THEM gift cards for the amount they sent you. Never mention it

again. They'll know but won't dare to ask.

Lynnette

>

> I've been NC (save for 2 family gatherings) for almost 2 years now.

> Got the Christmas box with a couple of okay gifts in it. (last year

> she got me a book on how to be happy, because I must not be happy

if I

> am not talking to my mother)

>

> So okay, fine. Then I see that I have 2 cards that were sent

> separately. One for me, and one for my BF whom they have met

exactly

> those 2 times. (I didn't know him before I went NC)

>

> They sent me $150. They have NEVER EVER EVER given me more than

$100.

> Not even when I bought my first home on my own and could barely

make

> the closing costs (my gift then was a PLANT).

>

> And for the boyfriend? A nice card? Yes, and $100 dollars.

>

> After they met him, she sent a card and wrote a note in it to him

and

> I never showed it to him. What am I supposed to do with this? My

BF

> also makes plenty of money, and my parents are retired on my

father's

> salary only, as my mother flipped her lid and stopped working when I

> was 14.

>

> I hate to lie, but if I give it to him, he'll be forced to write her

> (he doesn't totally *get* how she is). She just wants an *in* with

> him. Who gives a perfect stranger $100?

>

> I might have to send the whole thing back now.

>

> -Deanna

>

[Guest guest]

SEND IT BACK or she will hold it over you forever. It gives her power. You

don't want that. It sucks and I'm sorry you have to deal with it!

> I've been NC (save for 2 family gatherings) for almost 2 years now.

> Got the Christmas box with a couple of okay gifts in it. (last year

> she got me a book on how to be happy, because I must not be happy if I

> am not talking to my mother)

>

> So okay, fine. Then I see that I have 2 cards that were sent

> separately. One for me, and one for my BF whom they have met exactly

> those 2 times. (I didn't know him before I went NC)

>

> They sent me $150. They have NEVER EVER EVER given me more than $100.

> Not even when I bought my first home on my own and could barely make

> the closing costs (my gift then was a PLANT).

>

> And for the boyfriend? A nice card? Yes, and $100 dollars.

>

> After they met him, she sent a card and wrote a note in it to him and

> I never showed it to him. What am I supposed to do with this? My BF

> also makes plenty of money, and my parents are retired on my father's

> salary only, as my mother flipped her lid and stopped working when I

> was 14.

>

> I hate to lie, but if I give it to him, he'll be forced to write her

> (he doesn't totally *get* how she is). She just wants an *in* with

> him. Who gives a perfect stranger $100?

>

> I might have to send the whole thing back now.

>

> -Deanna

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Sending it all back sounds appropriate to me. " Gifts " whose

purpose is to control you are not worth it. If you keep the

money, she's going to use it against you in some way and you

really don't need her getting her hooks into your boyfriend too.

At 12:26 AM 12/03/2008 vegdeanna wrote:

>I've been NC (save for 2 family gatherings) for almost 2 years

>now.

>Got the Christmas box with a couple of okay gifts in it. (last

>year

>she got me a book on how to be happy, because I must not be

>happy if I

>am not talking to my mother)

>

>So okay, fine. Then I see that I have 2 cards that were sent

>separately. One for me, and one for my BF whom they have met

>exactly

>those 2 times. (I didn't know him before I went NC)

>

>They sent me $150. They have NEVER EVER EVER given me more

>than $100.

> Not even when I bought my first home on my own and could

> barely make

>the closing costs (my gift then was a PLANT).

>

>And for the boyfriend? A nice card? Yes, and $100 dollars.

>

>After they met him, she sent a card and wrote a note in it to

>him and

>I never showed it to him. What am I supposed to do with

>this? My BF

>also makes plenty of money, and my parents are retired on my

>father's

>salary only, as my mother flipped her lid and stopped working

>when I

>was 14.

>

>I hate to lie, but if I give it to him, he'll be forced to

>write her

>(he doesn't totally *get* how she is). She just wants an *in*

>with

>him. Who gives a perfect stranger $100?

>

>I might have to send the whole thing back now.

>

>-Deanna

--

Katrina