Any advice for people still financially dependant on a bpd parent?

[Guest guest]

Hi there, I found out that my nada has BPD 6 months ago and have been

coming to terms with it all. I have been just reading this site, but

it has been great just to read and hear that some other people also

have to deal with similar situations which I am going through.

Well coming to the reason for my post. Last week my Grandmother

passed away. I never got to visit her as she lives in another

country, but I was sad, and frustrated with my circumstances at not

ever being able to meet her. I was considering taking a loan and

being present for the funeral at least, with my aunt showing me

around and introducing me to the family. In the end I decided not to,

it would be much better to meet the family in more positive

circumstances, and with more available time. I decided all of this

before I got a call from my nada who had been speaking to my brother

who was present at the aunts place when we were discussing it all.

My nada started to yell and said how she couldn't understand why I

was doing this, and that since my brother got to meet her and was

closer to her then he should deserve to go not me, and that she would

not have helped me financially if I was going to piss off overseas.

(I am a student and have returned home for the summer holidays, I

have moved into a flat after 2 weeks at home and have had very little

financial help).

I told her that if I was going to go (which I wasn't at that point) I

would have taken a loan so it wasn't her money. That it was my

grandmother so I would have liked to have some involvement, and I

calmly told her to stop yelling at me.

Worst was that when I saw her next she pretended like nothing had

happened, and that I was the crazy one.

I was wondering if anyone had any advice for people who are still

financially dependant on a bpd parent? Its very hard having to rely

on her when she uses it against me at every opportunity.