Suggestions on how to get a BP parent to stop coming to your house constantly.

[Guest guest]

Hello,

 

Thanks so much for taking the time to read this. I'll be replying to posts as

soon as I figure out how to set one of the profiles I tried creating. I just

finished " Walking on Eggshells " and am really glad to find a group of people who

have similar experiences.

 

Here is my problem. My mother is BP and this past year has been extremely

suffocating. She constantly goes to my house several times a week during the day

even when I've begged her not to. She uses excuses like having fruit or

something to drop off. I've told her that I don't want her fruit, I have the

same exact thing and she still goes over and calls me later. We had given them a

key to the house in case we got locked out, so my dad always goes and lets her

in (he won't tell her no on things as she makes his life miserable). My

therapist said to change the locks, but my husband won't do it.

 

My main problem is that I'll be quitting work soon to stay home with our

children, and I can't have her coming over all the time. She makes life

miserable when she's around, demeaning me in front of my girls, putting one of

them down (she switches which one she likes and doesn't like constantly). I'd

really prefer not having her near them. We visit her for a short time frame each

month, and call her several times a week, and that is more than enough for all

of us. I'm almost to the point of telling her I can't stand it anymore, but I

don't want my dad to be cut out. And I don't want to add to her feeling of

abandonment, which I'm sure is partially what's driving the house calls.

 

Has anyone had a similar situation with a BP parent? How did you set boundaries

and have both parties stick to them?

 

Thank you so much.