Guest guest Posted December 12, 2002 Report Share Posted December 12, 2002 NUMBER 20 IS ESPECIALLY FOR US LUPIES FOR SURE. >1.Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. >Teach that person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks. > >2. Some people are like Slinkies . . . not really good for anything, but >you >still can't help but >smile when you see one tumble down the stairs. > >3. I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. >I get to the end and think, " Well, that's not going to happen. " > >4. Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday....lying in hospitals dying >of nothing. > >5. The other night I ate at a real family restaurant. >Every table had an argument going. > >6. Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder >these days, no one talks about seeing UFO's like they used to. > >7. According to a recent survey, men say the first thing they notice about >a >woman is their eyes, >and women say the first thing they notice about men is they're a bunch of >liars. > >8. Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again. > >9. All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It >pays no attention to criticism. > >10. Have you noticed that a slight tax increase costs >you two hundred dollars, and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents? > >11. In the 60's people took acid to make the world weird. >Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal. > >12. Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. >I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first. > >13. There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly >what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear >and >be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. >There is another theory which states that this has already happened. > >14. How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, >but it takes a whole box to start a campfire? > >15. You read about all these terrorists--most of them >came here legally, but they hung around on these expired visas, >for as long as 10-150 years. >Now, compare that to Blockbuster: you're two days late >with a video and those people are all over you. >Let's put Blockbuster in charge of immigration. > >16. Every teenager should get a high school education. >Even if they already know everything. > >17. If you're playing a poker game and you look around >the table and can't tell who the sucker is, it's you. > >18. You know when you're sitting on a chair and you >lean back so you're just on two legs then you >lean too far and you almost fall over backwards but at >the last second you catch yourself? I feel like that all the time. > >19. I'm not 40-something. I'm $39.95, plus shipping and handling. > >20. Doctors can be frustrating. You wait a month-and-a-half for an >appointment, and he >says, " I wish you'd come to me sooner. " _________________________________________________________________ MSN 8 helps eliminate e-mail viruses. Get 2 months FREE*. http://join.msn.com/?page=features/virus >> > >To: " Lucy " >Subject: FW: DEEP THOUGHTS >Date: Fri, 6 Dec 2002 09:27:24 -0600 > > >1.Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. >Teach that person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks. > >2. Some people are like Slinkies . . . not really good for anything, but >you >still can't help but >smile when you see one tumble down the stairs. > >3. I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. >I get to the end and think, " Well, that's not going to happen. " > >4. Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday....lying in hospitals dying >of nothing. > >5. The other night I ate at a real family restaurant. >Every table had an argument going. > >6. Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder >these days, no one talks about seeing UFO's like they used to. > >7. According to a recent survey, men say the first thing they notice about >a >woman is their eyes, >and women say the first thing they notice about men is they're a bunch of >liars. > >8. Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again. > >9. All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It >pays no attention to criticism. > >10. Have you noticed that a slight tax increase costs >you two hundred dollars, and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents? > >11. In the 60's people took acid to make the world weird. >Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal. > >12. Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. >I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first. > >13. There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly >what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear >and >be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. >There is another theory which states that this has already happened. > >14. How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, >but it takes a whole box to start a campfire? > >15. You read about all these terrorists--most of them >came here legally, but they hung around on these expired visas, >for as long as 10-150 years. >Now, compare that to Blockbuster: you're two days late >with a video and those people are all over you. >Let's put Blockbuster in charge of immigration. > >16. Every teenager should get a high school education. >Even if they already know everything. > >17. If you're playing a poker game and you look around >the table and can't tell who the sucker is, it's you. > >18. You know when you're sitting on a chair and you >lean back so you're just on two legs then you >lean too far and you almost fall over backwards but at >the last second you catch yourself? I feel like that all the time. > >19. I'm not 40-something. I'm $39.95, plus shipping and handling. > >20. Doctors can be frustrating. You wait a month-and-a-half for an >appointment, and he >says, " I wish you'd come to me sooner. " _________________________________________________________________ MSN 8 helps eliminate e-mail viruses. Get 2 months FREE*. http://join.msn.com/?page=features/virus Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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