Guest guest Posted December 30, 2008 Report Share Posted December 30, 2008 Oh, brother: My nada once broke a months-long silent treatment by calling and demanding I lend HER a book! lol -- they're so pathetic, they'll grab at any straw for the opportunity to force us to do something! (Even more pathetic: I DID IT! What a hoot.) This woman is an animal. You don't owe her anything. Why are you catering to her? I say give the books to charity and block her texts and calls. Tell anyone who asks that the books were lost. Take the money you were going to spend having the books delivered to her and buy yourself a birthday present with it! Just my thoughts! --S Re: Text breaks NC... To: WTOAdultChildren1 > I did used to work for a courier company and I was thinking of > hiring > them to deliver the damn books...hmmm...she won't even know what > the > box is until she gets it inside the house. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > I'll try to be brief here... > > > > > > First - stepnada walked out of my sister and brother- > in- > law's > > > house > > > > > > with my father in tow about two years ago because my > sister > > > > > > said, " please stop arguing with me, " to stepnada > (during > one of > > > > > > stepnada's 'I'm always right and you're always wrong' > tirades) > > > and > > > > > > this translated into DISRESPECT. My father (before > they > > > stormed > > > > > out) > > > > > > told my sister that she " needed to apologize to " > stepnada. > She > > > > > > refused and said she had done nothing wrong. My > sister, > was > > > not > > > > > > willing to be the one to fix things and go crawling > back to > > > her, > > > > > YET > > > > > > AGAIN, so she let the lines of communication close. > She > has > > > since > > > > > > had another baby and I have no idea if they are aware. > > Though > > > > > since > > > > > > stepnada's nieces are friends of ours on Myspace, I'm > sure > they > > > > > have > > > > > > found out. Stepnada and dad have may no attempts to > patch > > > things > > > > > up > > > > > > and have always effectively walked out on my 3 y.o. > niece. > > > Though > > > > > > this is probably the best thing that could have > happened > for > > > that > > > > > > baby. > > > > > > > > > > > > As for me - I have not spoken to stepnada in a year. > We > didn't > > > > > fight > > > > > > or anything, I just waited too long to call (it is > ALWAYS > up to > > > me > > > > > to > > > > > > call) and too much time went by - enough to know that > when > I > > > > > finally > > > > > > did call, I would be given a wicked guilt trip. Plus, > my > > > sister > > > > > was > > > > > > pregnant at the time, and I knew if they found out > that I > knew > > > the > > > > > > whole time that she was pregnant and didn't tell them, > that > I > > > would > > > > > > be in a WORLD OF S**T!! My stepnada made clear to me > the > few > > > times > > > > > I > > > > > > spoke to her (previous to my going NC) just how much > she > > > despises > > > > > my > > > > > > sis. Very uncomfortable to not be able to talk about > half > your > > > > > life > > > > > > to your parents. How ridiculous right? Why do I feel > like > I'm > > > > > being > > > > > > the childish one? God, I'm 29 years old and afraid to > talk > to > > > my > > > > > > stepmother. How sad. > > > > > > > > > > > > So anyway, my birthday came and went (April) and I > heard > > > NOTHING > > > > > from > > > > > > her. So I knew she was pissed. Didn't care, didn't > try to > > > call > > > > > her, > > > > > > didn't want to fix it, don't miss her. My father > wrote me > an > > > email > > > > > a > > > > > > few days after and I told him how bad I felt that our > family > > > had > > > > > > completely fallen apart and that I was scared to talk > to > her. > > > He > > > > > > reiterated that my sister had been completely > disrespectful > and > > > > > that > > > > > > I " know how my sister is. " I wanted to say, " NO! But > I do > > > know > > > > > how > > > > > > much of a b**ch your wife is! " > > > > > > > > > > > > Today, I get a long text asking for some books back > that > > > stepnada > > > > > had > > > > > > loaned me before everything went to hell. She said it > would be > > > > > fine > > > > > > for me to " just leave them on the doorstep " of their > house. > > > She's > > > > > on > > > > > > Christmas break (this woman is a HS teacher) - like I > would > > > EVER go > > > > > > over there knowing she is sitting around in her PJ's > just > > > waiting > > > > > to > > > > > > confront me. I'm sure she has plenty to say about > what a > > > sh****y > > > > > > daughter I am and how hard my dad cries (when I was > still > > > talking > > > > > to > > > > > > her, she would tell me how he cried b/c of sister.) > Really? > > > What > > > > > > about how he promised to call my sister back to work > things > out > > > and > > > > > > never did? Who's fault is that exactly? > > > > > > > > > > > > Okay, so...Do I respond? I still haven't texted back > (it's > > > been > > > > > > about 2 1/2 hours since I read it - don't know when it > was > > > sent.) > > > > > > Is there some sick message in the fact that she > decided to > text > > > me > > > > > > this close to, yet AFTER Christmas? > > > > > > Is it wrong to not respond at all and just mail those > books > > > back to > > > > > > her? She only lives about 5 miles away. I have a > feeling > > > she'll > > > > > > keep texting until she gets some sort of response. > Even if > > > it's > > > > > just > > > > > > OK. I'm afraid responding will open the channels of > > > communication > > > > > > and I have nothing to say to her. > > > > > > > > > > > > Feeling a little freaked out here. > > > > > > Thanks for reading, and any suggestions you may have! > > > > > > allcats > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 30, 2008 Report Share Posted December 30, 2008 Hi All Cats and Dame Magnifique; Yes, All Cats, mailing them would be how I'd do it to, so as to avoid seeing her.But even though it will cost more, consider doing Priority with Delivery Confirmation - and then you don't have to text her back. And Dame Magnifique, you're right when you say contact is just another way BPDs stick it to us one more time. Case in point: I have a BPD cousin who has now tried to contact me in email three times in less than a week with ridiculous reasons why and plain old lies as to how she " found my email address searching online. " THAT is garbage, because I am using the same email I've had for over 10 years and she's had it in her address book. This cousin, years ago, raged at me over the phone (she's west coast, I'm east coast) for three hours for telling her son not only that my mother had died, but for telling him when the memorial was and letting him come to it. Nothing would calm her down and she said she was " cutting me off. " In the year and a half after, I sent her a card with news and photos about once every other month and heard nothing back from her at all. Not long after that she did the same to my sister when my sister wouldn't tell her where the cousin's son's wedding was being held and when. We have been NC since then. My sister has Multiple Sclerosis and that cousin's rage agrievated the MS and caused her to lose a lot of money due to missed work. This cousin (my nada's sister's child) lived with us for several weeks each summer when we were very little, and when her mother died (I was about 5) she lived permanently with us until she was 18. Always treated my father badly and blamed him for everything. When my mother died, she stopped calling him except when she wanted to know when and where her son's wedding was and my father said he didn't know because when he knew he couldn't attend, he threw away the invitation. We know why he didn't tell her, don't we! Meanwhile, I hope she stops trying to get in touch with me. I warned my sister and my father about the emails too. Flowers in Oz ----- Original Message ----- From: " allcatsaregrey79 " I think that her telling me to leave them on the steps is manipulative and that she will be lying in wait - and gosh darn I just can't resist NOT doing what she's said to do. allcats > > It's seems to me that she is just trying to suck you into another drama. > And the only way she will be able to succeed is by getting a response from > you. It probably took her this long to figure out a " way " to contact you. > But unfortunately we all know with BPDs it's not to apologize or make > things right, it's just to stick it you one more time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 31, 2008 Report Share Posted December 31, 2008 lol I love it!!!! And congrats on being done with this whole issue. -S Re: Text breaks NC... To: WTOAdultChildren1 > This is so terrible, but I asked one of our receptionists to > price > the deliver for me. She started plugging in all the info and > got to > the part for " recipient's name, " and I said, " Um...Crazy B***h. " > She > said, straight-faced, " Sure, but they're going to make her sign > as " crazy bitch. " I didn't really put it on the package, but I > sure > wanted to!!! The recepts. got a kick out of it at any rate. > > > > > > > > > > Getting the books back is a ploy to get you over there. > Put > them in a > > > box and mail them. If $ is an issue, use the media mail or > book > rate - > > > it's less expensive by a considerable amount. Don't put a > note > in it > > > and consider yourself off the leash and go enjoy your life. > > > > > > > > ) Cheryl > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 31, 2008 Report Share Posted December 31, 2008 Good for you. You returned her books, you will know she had to sign for them ensuring she actually received them and you didn't play into her game. I think once you let her know you are no longer a player, she will either escalate her behavior or maybe realize that her tactics will no longer work with you. I think you handled the situation perfectly. And I am glad you were able to find some humor in this and also made someone else laugh! ________________________________ To: WTOAdultChildren1 Sent: Tuesday, December 30, 2008 11:37:19 PM Subject: Re: Text breaks NC... This is so terrible, but I asked one of our receptionists to price the deliver for me. She started plugging in all the info and got to the part for " recipient's name, " and I said, " Um...Crazy B***h. " She said, straight-faced, " Sure, but they're going to make her sign as " crazy bitch. " I didn't really put it on the package, but I sure wanted to!!! The recepts. got a kick out of it at any rate. > > > > > > Getting the books back is a ploy to get you over there. Put them in a > > box and mail them. If $ is an issue, use the media mail or book rate - > > it's less expensive by a considerable amount. Don't put a note in it > > and consider yourself off the leash and go enjoy your life. > > > > > > ) Cheryl > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.