Guest guest Posted December 29, 2008 Report Share Posted December 29, 2008 Oh, and she's also left a message on my home phone. yay. > > I'll try to be brief here... > First - stepnada walked out of my sister and brother-in-law's house > with my father in tow about two years ago because my sister > said, " please stop arguing with me, " to stepnada (during one of > stepnada's 'I'm always right and you're always wrong' tirades) and > this translated into DISRESPECT. My father (before they stormed out) > told my sister that she " needed to apologize to " stepnada. She > refused and said she had done nothing wrong. My sister, was not > willing to be the one to fix things and go crawling back to her, YET > AGAIN, so she let the lines of communication close. She has since > had another baby and I have no idea if they are aware. Though since > stepnada's nieces are friends of ours on Myspace, I'm sure they have > found out. Stepnada and dad have may no attempts to patch things up > and have always effectively walked out on my 3 y.o. niece. Though > this is probably the best thing that could have happened for that > baby. > > As for me - I have not spoken to stepnada in a year. We didn't fight > or anything, I just waited too long to call (it is ALWAYS up to me to > call) and too much time went by - enough to know that when I finally > did call, I would be given a wicked guilt trip. Plus, my sister was > pregnant at the time, and I knew if they found out that I knew the > whole time that she was pregnant and didn't tell them, that I would > be in a WORLD OF S**T!! My stepnada made clear to me the few times I > spoke to her (previous to my going NC) just how much she despises my > sis. Very uncomfortable to not be able to talk about half your life > to your parents. How ridiculous right? Why do I feel like I'm being > the childish one? God, I'm 29 years old and afraid to talk to my > stepmother. How sad. > > So anyway, my birthday came and went (April) and I heard NOTHING from > her. So I knew she was pissed. Didn't care, didn't try to call her, > didn't want to fix it, don't miss her. My father wrote me an email a > few days after and I told him how bad I felt that our family had > completely fallen apart and that I was scared to talk to her. He > reiterated that my sister had been completely disrespectful and that > I " know how my sister is. " I wanted to say, " NO! But I do know how > much of a b**ch your wife is! " > > Today, I get a long text asking for some books back that stepnada had > loaned me before everything went to hell. She said it would be fine > for me to " just leave them on the doorstep " of their house. She's on > Christmas break (this woman is a HS teacher) - like I would EVER go > over there knowing she is sitting around in her PJ's just waiting to > confront me. I'm sure she has plenty to say about what a sh****y > daughter I am and how hard my dad cries (when I was still talking to > her, she would tell me how he cried b/c of sister.) Really? What > about how he promised to call my sister back to work things out and > never did? Who's fault is that exactly? > > Okay, so...Do I respond? I still haven't texted back (it's been > about 2 1/2 hours since I read it - don't know when it was sent.) > Is there some sick message in the fact that she decided to text me > this close to, yet AFTER Christmas? > Is it wrong to not respond at all and just mail those books back to > her? She only lives about 5 miles away. I have a feeling she'll > keep texting until she gets some sort of response. Even if it's just > OK. I'm afraid responding will open the channels of communication > and I have nothing to say to her. > > Feeling a little freaked out here. > Thanks for reading, and any suggestions you may have! > allcats > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 29, 2008 Report Share Posted December 29, 2008 Your step-nada is really enjoying getting to hold this book thing over your head. How creepy. What an a-hole she is. If I were in your shoes, this is what I'd do: As Soon As Possible I'd ask a friend to go with me when I hand-deliver the books to step-nada. This strategy has several advantages: Its cheaper than mailing the books. Having a witness at your side will probably prevent stepnada from lashing out at you with a verbal attack. Mine is usually quite well-behaved when other people are around; maybe yours is too. It will thwart any attempt by nada to claim that the books were never returned or that they were returned in bad shape. It will allow you to make the drop-off as brief as possible, as your friend has an " appointment " to keep (or whatever.) It displays uppityness to show up in person and hand her her damned books face to face, particularly since she commanded you to just leave them at her door. Oooh, you might even throw in a little gift, too. An additional book you think she'd like, or a jar of jam or something. Ha! Its an indirect way of snapping your fingers in her face, showing her she has no power to either control you or intimidate you. Could you and your witness/friend show up in her classroom just before class starts and return the books then? In front of her class? Its even better than delivering them to her home! " Oh, we just happened to be in the area so I thought I'd drop them off, mommy dearest! Tootles! " -Annie > > > > I'll try to be brief here... > > First - stepnada walked out of my sister and brother-in-law's house > > with my father in tow about two years ago because my sister > > said, " please stop arguing with me, " to stepnada (during one of > > stepnada's 'I'm always right and you're always wrong' tirades) and > > this translated into DISRESPECT. My father (before they stormed > out) > > told my sister that she " needed to apologize to " stepnada. She > > refused and said she had done nothing wrong. My sister, was not > > willing to be the one to fix things and go crawling back to her, > YET > > AGAIN, so she let the lines of communication close. She has since > > had another baby and I have no idea if they are aware. Though > since > > stepnada's nieces are friends of ours on Myspace, I'm sure they > have > > found out. Stepnada and dad have may no attempts to patch things > up > > and have always effectively walked out on my 3 y.o. niece. Though > > this is probably the best thing that could have happened for that > > baby. > > > > As for me - I have not spoken to stepnada in a year. We didn't > fight > > or anything, I just waited too long to call (it is ALWAYS up to me > to > > call) and too much time went by - enough to know that when I > finally > > did call, I would be given a wicked guilt trip. Plus, my sister > was > > pregnant at the time, and I knew if they found out that I knew the > > whole time that she was pregnant and didn't tell them, that I would > > be in a WORLD OF S**T!! My stepnada made clear to me the few times > I > > spoke to her (previous to my going NC) just how much she despises > my > > sis. Very uncomfortable to not be able to talk about half your > life > > to your parents. How ridiculous right? Why do I feel like I'm > being > > the childish one? God, I'm 29 years old and afraid to talk to my > > stepmother. How sad. > > > > So anyway, my birthday came and went (April) and I heard NOTHING > from > > her. So I knew she was pissed. Didn't care, didn't try to call > her, > > didn't want to fix it, don't miss her. My father wrote me an email > a > > few days after and I told him how bad I felt that our family had > > completely fallen apart and that I was scared to talk to her. He > > reiterated that my sister had been completely disrespectful and > that > > I " know how my sister is. " I wanted to say, " NO! But I do know > how > > much of a b**ch your wife is! " > > > > Today, I get a long text asking for some books back that stepnada > had > > loaned me before everything went to hell. She said it would be > fine > > for me to " just leave them on the doorstep " of their house. She's > on > > Christmas break (this woman is a HS teacher) - like I would EVER go > > over there knowing she is sitting around in her PJ's just waiting > to > > confront me. I'm sure she has plenty to say about what a sh****y > > daughter I am and how hard my dad cries (when I was still talking > to > > her, she would tell me how he cried b/c of sister.) Really? What > > about how he promised to call my sister back to work things out and > > never did? Who's fault is that exactly? > > > > Okay, so...Do I respond? I still haven't texted back (it's been > > about 2 1/2 hours since I read it - don't know when it was sent.) > > Is there some sick message in the fact that she decided to text me > > this close to, yet AFTER Christmas? > > Is it wrong to not respond at all and just mail those books back to > > her? She only lives about 5 miles away. I have a feeling she'll > > keep texting until she gets some sort of response. Even if it's > just > > OK. I'm afraid responding will open the channels of communication > > and I have nothing to say to her. > > > > Feeling a little freaked out here. > > Thanks for reading, and any suggestions you may have! > > allcats > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 29, 2008 Report Share Posted December 29, 2008 It's seems to me that she is just trying to suck you into another drama. And the only way she will be able to succeed is by getting a response from you. It probably took her this long to figure out a " way " to contact you. But unfortunately we all know with BPDs it's not to apologize or make things right, it's just to stick it you one more time. I would mail them back w/o any sort of note whatsoever. She wants her books back, fine, she can act like a child wanting her " stuff " back now that she isn't talking to you anymore. How convenient that she chooses to do this right after xmas. Was that her way of letting you know that she purposely didn't contact YOU during the holidays? Whatever!! It's all manipulative games if you ask me. Give her precious books back and keep your NC until she does something worth making you break NC. That's my 2 cents. > > > > I'll try to be brief here... > > First - stepnada walked out of my sister and brother-in-law's house > > with my father in tow about two years ago because my sister > > said, " please stop arguing with me, " to stepnada (during one of > > stepnada's 'I'm always right and you're always wrong' tirades) and > > this translated into DISRESPECT. My father (before they stormed > out) > > told my sister that she " needed to apologize to " stepnada. She > > refused and said she had done nothing wrong. My sister, was not > > willing to be the one to fix things and go crawling back to her, > YET > > AGAIN, so she let the lines of communication close. She has since > > had another baby and I have no idea if they are aware. Though > since > > stepnada's nieces are friends of ours on Myspace, I'm sure they > have > > found out. Stepnada and dad have may no attempts to patch things > up > > and have always effectively walked out on my 3 y.o. niece. Though > > this is probably the best thing that could have happened for that > > baby. > > > > As for me - I have not spoken to stepnada in a year. We didn't > fight > > or anything, I just waited too long to call (it is ALWAYS up to me > to > > call) and too much time went by - enough to know that when I > finally > > did call, I would be given a wicked guilt trip. Plus, my sister > was > > pregnant at the time, and I knew if they found out that I knew the > > whole time that she was pregnant and didn't tell them, that I would > > be in a WORLD OF S**T!! My stepnada made clear to me the few times > I > > spoke to her (previous to my going NC) just how much she despises > my > > sis. Very uncomfortable to not be able to talk about half your > life > > to your parents. How ridiculous right? Why do I feel like I'm > being > > the childish one? God, I'm 29 years old and afraid to talk to my > > stepmother. How sad. > > > > So anyway, my birthday came and went (April) and I heard NOTHING > from > > her. So I knew she was pissed. Didn't care, didn't try to call > her, > > didn't want to fix it, don't miss her. My father wrote me an email > a > > few days after and I told him how bad I felt that our family had > > completely fallen apart and that I was scared to talk to her. He > > reiterated that my sister had been completely disrespectful and > that > > I " know how my sister is. " I wanted to say, " NO! But I do know > how > > much of a b**ch your wife is! " > > > > Today, I get a long text asking for some books back that stepnada > had > > loaned me before everything went to hell. She said it would be > fine > > for me to " just leave them on the doorstep " of their house. She's > on > > Christmas break (this woman is a HS teacher) - like I would EVER go > > over there knowing she is sitting around in her PJ's just waiting > to > > confront me. I'm sure she has plenty to say about what a sh****y > > daughter I am and how hard my dad cries (when I was still talking > to > > her, she would tell me how he cried b/c of sister.) Really? What > > about how he promised to call my sister back to work things out and > > never did? Who's fault is that exactly? > > > > Okay, so...Do I respond? I still haven't texted back (it's been > > about 2 1/2 hours since I read it - don't know when it was sent.) > > Is there some sick message in the fact that she decided to text me > > this close to, yet AFTER Christmas? > > Is it wrong to not respond at all and just mail those books back to > > her? She only lives about 5 miles away. I have a feeling she'll > > keep texting until she gets some sort of response. Even if it's > just > > OK. I'm afraid responding will open the channels of communication > > and I have nothing to say to her. > > > > Feeling a little freaked out here. > > Thanks for reading, and any suggestions you may have! > > allcats > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 29, 2008 Report Share Posted December 29, 2008 Haha!! Thanks, I really needed to laugh!! The classroom idea is awfully funny and if I had the stones I would so totally do that!! To be honest though, I think I'd pay about $1000 to mail the stupid books - it's only two books and I don't really care. I don't really have the stomach to look at her face. > > > > > > I'll try to be brief here... > > > First - stepnada walked out of my sister and brother-in-law's house > > > with my father in tow about two years ago because my sister > > > said, " please stop arguing with me, " to stepnada (during one of > > > stepnada's 'I'm always right and you're always wrong' tirades) and > > > this translated into DISRESPECT. My father (before they stormed > > out) > > > told my sister that she " needed to apologize to " stepnada. She > > > refused and said she had done nothing wrong. My sister, was not > > > willing to be the one to fix things and go crawling back to her, > > YET > > > AGAIN, so she let the lines of communication close. She has since > > > had another baby and I have no idea if they are aware. Though > > since > > > stepnada's nieces are friends of ours on Myspace, I'm sure they > > have > > > found out. Stepnada and dad have may no attempts to patch things > > up > > > and have always effectively walked out on my 3 y.o. niece. Though > > > this is probably the best thing that could have happened for that > > > baby. > > > > > > As for me - I have not spoken to stepnada in a year. We didn't > > fight > > > or anything, I just waited too long to call (it is ALWAYS up to me > > to > > > call) and too much time went by - enough to know that when I > > finally > > > did call, I would be given a wicked guilt trip. Plus, my sister > > was > > > pregnant at the time, and I knew if they found out that I knew the > > > whole time that she was pregnant and didn't tell them, that I would > > > be in a WORLD OF S**T!! My stepnada made clear to me the few times > > I > > > spoke to her (previous to my going NC) just how much she despises > > my > > > sis. Very uncomfortable to not be able to talk about half your > > life > > > to your parents. How ridiculous right? Why do I feel like I'm > > being > > > the childish one? God, I'm 29 years old and afraid to talk to my > > > stepmother. How sad. > > > > > > So anyway, my birthday came and went (April) and I heard NOTHING > > from > > > her. So I knew she was pissed. Didn't care, didn't try to call > > her, > > > didn't want to fix it, don't miss her. My father wrote me an email > > a > > > few days after and I told him how bad I felt that our family had > > > completely fallen apart and that I was scared to talk to her. He > > > reiterated that my sister had been completely disrespectful and > > that > > > I " know how my sister is. " I wanted to say, " NO! But I do know > > how > > > much of a b**ch your wife is! " > > > > > > Today, I get a long text asking for some books back that stepnada > > had > > > loaned me before everything went to hell. She said it would be > > fine > > > for me to " just leave them on the doorstep " of their house. She's > > on > > > Christmas break (this woman is a HS teacher) - like I would EVER go > > > over there knowing she is sitting around in her PJ's just waiting > > to > > > confront me. I'm sure she has plenty to say about what a sh****y > > > daughter I am and how hard my dad cries (when I was still talking > > to > > > her, she would tell me how he cried b/c of sister.) Really? What > > > about how he promised to call my sister back to work things out and > > > never did? Who's fault is that exactly? > > > > > > Okay, so...Do I respond? I still haven't texted back (it's been > > > about 2 1/2 hours since I read it - don't know when it was sent.) > > > Is there some sick message in the fact that she decided to text me > > > this close to, yet AFTER Christmas? > > > Is it wrong to not respond at all and just mail those books back to > > > her? She only lives about 5 miles away. I have a feeling she'll > > > keep texting until she gets some sort of response. Even if it's > > just > > > OK. I'm afraid responding will open the channels of communication > > > and I have nothing to say to her. > > > > > > Feeling a little freaked out here. > > > Thanks for reading, and any suggestions you may have! > > > allcats > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 29, 2008 Report Share Posted December 29, 2008 Yeah, I definitely suspect that her timing was purposeful, or it was a whole " if she doesn't send a card, I'm going to get her. " Well, whatever. I haven't seen a card or recieved a phone call from either of them in over 9 months (a year for her). And, wow! That darn phone works both ways doesn't it?! I was thinking of just texting back that I am busy all week (which is true, we're moving out of our gallery and need to repaint all 1600 sq ft. of it as well), and will just drop them in the mail. I think that her telling me to leave them on the steps is manipulative and that she will be lying in wait - and gosh darn I just can't resist NOT doing what she's said to do. Thanks reading and for the advice - and sorry that post was so long - so much for being brief. allcats > > > > > > I'll try to be brief here... > > > First - stepnada walked out of my sister and brother-in-law's house > > > with my father in tow about two years ago because my sister > > > said, " please stop arguing with me, " to stepnada (during one of > > > stepnada's 'I'm always right and you're always wrong' tirades) and > > > this translated into DISRESPECT. My father (before they stormed > > out) > > > told my sister that she " needed to apologize to " stepnada. She > > > refused and said she had done nothing wrong. My sister, was not > > > willing to be the one to fix things and go crawling back to her, > > YET > > > AGAIN, so she let the lines of communication close. She has since > > > had another baby and I have no idea if they are aware. Though > > since > > > stepnada's nieces are friends of ours on Myspace, I'm sure they > > have > > > found out. Stepnada and dad have may no attempts to patch things > > up > > > and have always effectively walked out on my 3 y.o. niece. Though > > > this is probably the best thing that could have happened for that > > > baby. > > > > > > As for me - I have not spoken to stepnada in a year. We didn't > > fight > > > or anything, I just waited too long to call (it is ALWAYS up to me > > to > > > call) and too much time went by - enough to know that when I > > finally > > > did call, I would be given a wicked guilt trip. Plus, my sister > > was > > > pregnant at the time, and I knew if they found out that I knew the > > > whole time that she was pregnant and didn't tell them, that I would > > > be in a WORLD OF S**T!! My stepnada made clear to me the few times > > I > > > spoke to her (previous to my going NC) just how much she despises > > my > > > sis. Very uncomfortable to not be able to talk about half your > > life > > > to your parents. How ridiculous right? Why do I feel like I'm > > being > > > the childish one? God, I'm 29 years old and afraid to talk to my > > > stepmother. How sad. > > > > > > So anyway, my birthday came and went (April) and I heard NOTHING > > from > > > her. So I knew she was pissed. Didn't care, didn't try to call > > her, > > > didn't want to fix it, don't miss her. My father wrote me an email > > a > > > few days after and I told him how bad I felt that our family had > > > completely fallen apart and that I was scared to talk to her. He > > > reiterated that my sister had been completely disrespectful and > > that > > > I " know how my sister is. " I wanted to say, " NO! But I do know > > how > > > much of a b**ch your wife is! " > > > > > > Today, I get a long text asking for some books back that stepnada > > had > > > loaned me before everything went to hell. She said it would be > > fine > > > for me to " just leave them on the doorstep " of their house. She's > > on > > > Christmas break (this woman is a HS teacher) - like I would EVER go > > > over there knowing she is sitting around in her PJ's just waiting > > to > > > confront me. I'm sure she has plenty to say about what a sh****y > > > daughter I am and how hard my dad cries (when I was still talking > > to > > > her, she would tell me how he cried b/c of sister.) Really? What > > > about how he promised to call my sister back to work things out and > > > never did? Who's fault is that exactly? > > > > > > Okay, so...Do I respond? I still haven't texted back (it's been > > > about 2 1/2 hours since I read it - don't know when it was sent.) > > > Is there some sick message in the fact that she decided to text me > > > this close to, yet AFTER Christmas? > > > Is it wrong to not respond at all and just mail those books back to > > > her? She only lives about 5 miles away. I have a feeling she'll > > > keep texting until she gets some sort of response. Even if it's > > just > > > OK. I'm afraid responding will open the channels of communication > > > and I have nothing to say to her. > > > > > > Feeling a little freaked out here. > > > Thanks for reading, and any suggestions you may have! > > > allcats > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 29, 2008 Report Share Posted December 29, 2008 Ah well. Its fun to have fantasies, sometimes! Still, I like the idea of invading her turf and making her sign for the delivery, its such a pleasantly indirect way of saying you don't trust her and want proof they were received. Maybe hire a delivery service to hand-deliver the books to her classroom, and get the required delivery confirmation signature. It has the added benefit of disrupting her work day, however briefly. I'm cherishing my inner Dennis the Menace at the moment, I suppose. Something about annoying the teacher appeals to me. -Annie > > > > > > > > I'll try to be brief here... > > > > First - stepnada walked out of my sister and brother-in-law's > house > > > > with my father in tow about two years ago because my sister > > > > said, " please stop arguing with me, " to stepnada (during one of > > > > stepnada's 'I'm always right and you're always wrong' tirades) > and > > > > this translated into DISRESPECT. My father (before they > stormed > > > out) > > > > told my sister that she " needed to apologize to " stepnada. She > > > > refused and said she had done nothing wrong. My sister, was > not > > > > willing to be the one to fix things and go crawling back to > her, > > > YET > > > > AGAIN, so she let the lines of communication close. She has > since > > > > had another baby and I have no idea if they are aware. Though > > > since > > > > stepnada's nieces are friends of ours on Myspace, I'm sure they > > > have > > > > found out. Stepnada and dad have may no attempts to patch > things > > > up > > > > and have always effectively walked out on my 3 y.o. niece. > Though > > > > this is probably the best thing that could have happened for > that > > > > baby. > > > > > > > > As for me - I have not spoken to stepnada in a year. We didn't > > > fight > > > > or anything, I just waited too long to call (it is ALWAYS up to > me > > > to > > > > call) and too much time went by - enough to know that when I > > > finally > > > > did call, I would be given a wicked guilt trip. Plus, my > sister > > > was > > > > pregnant at the time, and I knew if they found out that I knew > the > > > > whole time that she was pregnant and didn't tell them, that I > would > > > > be in a WORLD OF S**T!! My stepnada made clear to me the few > times > > > I > > > > spoke to her (previous to my going NC) just how much she > despises > > > my > > > > sis. Very uncomfortable to not be able to talk about half your > > > life > > > > to your parents. How ridiculous right? Why do I feel like I'm > > > being > > > > the childish one? God, I'm 29 years old and afraid to talk to > my > > > > stepmother. How sad. > > > > > > > > So anyway, my birthday came and went (April) and I heard > NOTHING > > > from > > > > her. So I knew she was pissed. Didn't care, didn't try to > call > > > her, > > > > didn't want to fix it, don't miss her. My father wrote me an > email > > > a > > > > few days after and I told him how bad I felt that our family > had > > > > completely fallen apart and that I was scared to talk to her. > He > > > > reiterated that my sister had been completely disrespectful and > > > that > > > > I " know how my sister is. " I wanted to say, " NO! But I do > know > > > how > > > > much of a b**ch your wife is! " > > > > > > > > Today, I get a long text asking for some books back that > stepnada > > > had > > > > loaned me before everything went to hell. She said it would be > > > fine > > > > for me to " just leave them on the doorstep " of their house. > She's > > > on > > > > Christmas break (this woman is a HS teacher) - like I would > EVER go > > > > over there knowing she is sitting around in her PJ's just > waiting > > > to > > > > confront me. I'm sure she has plenty to say about what a > sh****y > > > > daughter I am and how hard my dad cries (when I was still > talking > > > to > > > > her, she would tell me how he cried b/c of sister.) Really? > What > > > > about how he promised to call my sister back to work things out > and > > > > never did? Who's fault is that exactly? > > > > > > > > Okay, so...Do I respond? I still haven't texted back (it's > been > > > > about 2 1/2 hours since I read it - don't know when it was > sent.) > > > > Is there some sick message in the fact that she decided to text > me > > > > this close to, yet AFTER Christmas? > > > > Is it wrong to not respond at all and just mail those books > back to > > > > her? She only lives about 5 miles away. I have a feeling > she'll > > > > keep texting until she gets some sort of response. Even if > it's > > > just > > > > OK. I'm afraid responding will open the channels of > communication > > > > and I have nothing to say to her. > > > > > > > > Feeling a little freaked out here. > > > > Thanks for reading, and any suggestions you may have! > > > > allcats > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 29, 2008 Report Share Posted December 29, 2008 I did used to work for a courier company and I was thinking of hiring them to deliver the damn books...hmmm...she won't even know what the box is until she gets it inside the house. > > > > > > > > > > I'll try to be brief here... > > > > > First - stepnada walked out of my sister and brother-in- law's > > house > > > > > with my father in tow about two years ago because my sister > > > > > said, " please stop arguing with me, " to stepnada (during one of > > > > > stepnada's 'I'm always right and you're always wrong' tirades) > > and > > > > > this translated into DISRESPECT. My father (before they > > stormed > > > > out) > > > > > told my sister that she " needed to apologize to " stepnada. She > > > > > refused and said she had done nothing wrong. My sister, was > > not > > > > > willing to be the one to fix things and go crawling back to > > her, > > > > YET > > > > > AGAIN, so she let the lines of communication close. She has > > since > > > > > had another baby and I have no idea if they are aware. Though > > > > since > > > > > stepnada's nieces are friends of ours on Myspace, I'm sure they > > > > have > > > > > found out. Stepnada and dad have may no attempts to patch > > things > > > > up > > > > > and have always effectively walked out on my 3 y.o. niece. > > Though > > > > > this is probably the best thing that could have happened for > > that > > > > > baby. > > > > > > > > > > As for me - I have not spoken to stepnada in a year. We didn't > > > > fight > > > > > or anything, I just waited too long to call (it is ALWAYS up to > > me > > > > to > > > > > call) and too much time went by - enough to know that when I > > > > finally > > > > > did call, I would be given a wicked guilt trip. Plus, my > > sister > > > > was > > > > > pregnant at the time, and I knew if they found out that I knew > > the > > > > > whole time that she was pregnant and didn't tell them, that I > > would > > > > > be in a WORLD OF S**T!! My stepnada made clear to me the few > > times > > > > I > > > > > spoke to her (previous to my going NC) just how much she > > despises > > > > my > > > > > sis. Very uncomfortable to not be able to talk about half your > > > > life > > > > > to your parents. How ridiculous right? Why do I feel like I'm > > > > being > > > > > the childish one? God, I'm 29 years old and afraid to talk to > > my > > > > > stepmother. How sad. > > > > > > > > > > So anyway, my birthday came and went (April) and I heard > > NOTHING > > > > from > > > > > her. So I knew she was pissed. Didn't care, didn't try to > > call > > > > her, > > > > > didn't want to fix it, don't miss her. My father wrote me an > > email > > > > a > > > > > few days after and I told him how bad I felt that our family > > had > > > > > completely fallen apart and that I was scared to talk to her. > > He > > > > > reiterated that my sister had been completely disrespectful and > > > > that > > > > > I " know how my sister is. " I wanted to say, " NO! But I do > > know > > > > how > > > > > much of a b**ch your wife is! " > > > > > > > > > > Today, I get a long text asking for some books back that > > stepnada > > > > had > > > > > loaned me before everything went to hell. She said it would be > > > > fine > > > > > for me to " just leave them on the doorstep " of their house. > > She's > > > > on > > > > > Christmas break (this woman is a HS teacher) - like I would > > EVER go > > > > > over there knowing she is sitting around in her PJ's just > > waiting > > > > to > > > > > confront me. I'm sure she has plenty to say about what a > > sh****y > > > > > daughter I am and how hard my dad cries (when I was still > > talking > > > > to > > > > > her, she would tell me how he cried b/c of sister.) Really? > > What > > > > > about how he promised to call my sister back to work things out > > and > > > > > never did? Who's fault is that exactly? > > > > > > > > > > Okay, so...Do I respond? I still haven't texted back (it's > > been > > > > > about 2 1/2 hours since I read it - don't know when it was > > sent.) > > > > > Is there some sick message in the fact that she decided to text > > me > > > > > this close to, yet AFTER Christmas? > > > > > Is it wrong to not respond at all and just mail those books > > back to > > > > > her? She only lives about 5 miles away. I have a feeling > > she'll > > > > > keep texting until she gets some sort of response. Even if > > it's > > > > just > > > > > OK. I'm afraid responding will open the channels of > > communication > > > > > and I have nothing to say to her. > > > > > > > > > > Feeling a little freaked out here. > > > > > Thanks for reading, and any suggestions you may have! > > > > > allcats > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 30, 2008 Report Share Posted December 30, 2008 Getting the books back is a ploy to get you over there. Put them in a box and mail them. If $ is an issue, use the media mail or book rate - it's less expensive by a considerable amount. Don't put a note in it and consider yourself off the leash and go enjoy your life. ) Cheryl Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 30, 2008 Report Share Posted December 30, 2008 The best way to deliver them to the school would be to just drop them at the office and let them know it's for her. At a time when you KNOW she is in class so she doesn't surprise you by walking in. Then you have hand delivered them, but on your terms. I still say no note, though. Have the secretary put her name on the box. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 30, 2008 Report Share Posted December 30, 2008 I definitely hear you - I did just want to get rid of it awhile ago. Problem is, it is signed by the author - I am fedexing it out of my sight today. So far she has not responded to my text. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that it stays that way. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > I'll try to be brief here... > > > > > > > First - stepnada walked out of my sister and brother- > > in- > > law's > > > > house > > > > > > > with my father in tow about two years ago because my > > sister > > > > > > > said, " please stop arguing with me, " to stepnada > > (during > > one of > > > > > > > stepnada's 'I'm always right and you're always wrong' > > tirades) > > > > and > > > > > > > this translated into DISRESPECT. My father (before > > they > > > > stormed > > > > > > out) > > > > > > > told my sister that she " needed to apologize to " > > stepnada. > > She > > > > > > > refused and said she had done nothing wrong. My > > sister, > > was > > > > not > > > > > > > willing to be the one to fix things and go crawling > > back to > > > > her, > > > > > > YET > > > > > > > AGAIN, so she let the lines of communication close. > > She > > has > > > > since > > > > > > > had another baby and I have no idea if they are aware. > > > > Though > > > > > > since > > > > > > > stepnada's nieces are friends of ours on Myspace, I'm > > sure > > they > > > > > > have > > > > > > > found out. Stepnada and dad have may no attempts to > > patch > > > > things > > > > > > up > > > > > > > and have always effectively walked out on my 3 y.o. > > niece. > > > > Though > > > > > > > this is probably the best thing that could have > > happened > > for > > > > that > > > > > > > baby. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > As for me - I have not spoken to stepnada in a year. > > We > > didn't > > > > > > fight > > > > > > > or anything, I just waited too long to call (it is > > ALWAYS > > up to > > > > me > > > > > > to > > > > > > > call) and too much time went by - enough to know that > > when > > I > > > > > > finally > > > > > > > did call, I would be given a wicked guilt trip. Plus, > > my > > > > sister > > > > > > was > > > > > > > pregnant at the time, and I knew if they found out > > that I > > knew > > > > the > > > > > > > whole time that she was pregnant and didn't tell them, > > that > > I > > > > would > > > > > > > be in a WORLD OF S**T!! My stepnada made clear to me > > the > > few > > > > times > > > > > > I > > > > > > > spoke to her (previous to my going NC) just how much > > she > > > > despises > > > > > > my > > > > > > > sis. Very uncomfortable to not be able to talk about > > half > > your > > > > > > life > > > > > > > to your parents. How ridiculous right? Why do I feel > > like > > I'm > > > > > > being > > > > > > > the childish one? God, I'm 29 years old and afraid to > > talk > > to > > > > my > > > > > > > stepmother. How sad. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > So anyway, my birthday came and went (April) and I > > heard > > > > NOTHING > > > > > > from > > > > > > > her. So I knew she was pissed. Didn't care, didn't > > try to > > > > call > > > > > > her, > > > > > > > didn't want to fix it, don't miss her. My father > > wrote me > > an > > > > email > > > > > > a > > > > > > > few days after and I told him how bad I felt that our > > family > > > > had > > > > > > > completely fallen apart and that I was scared to talk > > to > > her. > > > > He > > > > > > > reiterated that my sister had been completely > > disrespectful > > and > > > > > > that > > > > > > > I " know how my sister is. " I wanted to say, " NO! But > > I do > > > > know > > > > > > how > > > > > > > much of a b**ch your wife is! " > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Today, I get a long text asking for some books back > > that > > > > stepnada > > > > > > had > > > > > > > loaned me before everything went to hell. She said it > > would be > > > > > > fine > > > > > > > for me to " just leave them on the doorstep " of their > > house. > > > > She's > > > > > > on > > > > > > > Christmas break (this woman is a HS teacher) - like I > > would > > > > EVER go > > > > > > > over there knowing she is sitting around in her PJ's > > just > > > > waiting > > > > > > to > > > > > > > confront me. I'm sure she has plenty to say about > > what a > > > > sh****y > > > > > > > daughter I am and how hard my dad cries (when I was > > still > > > > talking > > > > > > to > > > > > > > her, she would tell me how he cried b/c of sister.) > > Really? > > > > What > > > > > > > about how he promised to call my sister back to work > > things > > out > > > > and > > > > > > > never did? Who's fault is that exactly? > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Okay, so...Do I respond? I still haven't texted back > > (it's > > > > been > > > > > > > about 2 1/2 hours since I read it - don't know when it > > was > > > > sent.) > > > > > > > Is there some sick message in the fact that she > > decided to > > text > > > > me > > > > > > > this close to, yet AFTER Christmas? > > > > > > > Is it wrong to not respond at all and just mail those > > books > > > > back to > > > > > > > her? She only lives about 5 miles away. I have a > > feeling > > > > she'll > > > > > > > keep texting until she gets some sort of response. > > Even if > > > > it's > > > > > > just > > > > > > > OK. I'm afraid responding will open the channels of > > > > communication > > > > > > > and I have nothing to say to her. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Feeling a little freaked out here. > > > > > > > Thanks for reading, and any suggestions you may have! > > > > > > > allcats > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 30, 2008 Report Share Posted December 30, 2008 Flowers she sounds absolutely bonkers - she reminds me a lot of my stepnada. She's always cutting people off. Not in so many words, but I can't tell you how many people she was best buddies with one day and the next we were never allowed to utter his/her name in the house again. Now she cut off her husband's own children. Sick. > > > > It's seems to me that she is just trying to suck you into another drama. > > And the only way she will be able to succeed is by getting a response from > > you. It probably took her this long to figure out a " way " to contact you. > > But unfortunately we all know with BPDs it's not to apologize or make > > things right, it's just to stick it you one more time. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 30, 2008 Report Share Posted December 30, 2008 I spent $12 and used my company's daily FedEx pickup. Best money I ever spent > > Getting the books back is a ploy to get you over there. Put them in a box and mail them. If $ is an issue, use the media mail or book rate - it's less expensive by a considerable amount. Don't put a note in it and consider yourself off the leash and go enjoy your life. > > ) Cheryl > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 30, 2008 Report Share Posted December 30, 2008 Here's a virtual high-five for you, allcats! (smak!) And she has to sign for the FedEx delivery, ha! Record of delivery and all that, double ha! -Annie > > > > Getting the books back is a ploy to get you over there. Put them in a > box and mail them. If $ is an issue, use the media mail or book rate - > it's less expensive by a considerable amount. Don't put a note in it > and consider yourself off the leash and go enjoy your life. > > > > ) Cheryl > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 30, 2008 Report Share Posted December 30, 2008 This is so terrible, but I asked one of our receptionists to price the deliver for me. She started plugging in all the info and got to the part for " recipient's name, " and I said, " Um...Crazy B***h. " She said, straight-faced, " Sure, but they're going to make her sign as " crazy bitch. " I didn't really put it on the package, but I sure wanted to!!! The recepts. got a kick out of it at any rate. > > > > > > Getting the books back is a ploy to get you over there. Put them in a > > box and mail them. If $ is an issue, use the media mail or book rate - > > it's less expensive by a considerable amount. Don't put a note in it > > and consider yourself off the leash and go enjoy your life. > > > > > > ) Cheryl > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 30, 2008 Report Share Posted December 30, 2008 Hey, thanks you guys for reading and for all the support over the past day and a half! I really, really appreciate this board, and all the good stuff that goes on here. Besides writing (yeah, been working on that novel for 3 years - *wink* that was for my fellow Family Guy fans out there), this is one of the most cathartic activities of my spare time. I ALWAYS feel better when I'm here (though sometimes I may take long breaks away). And sorry I'm so darn wordy!!! I type too fast and before I realize what's happened, I'm two pages gone. Thanks and {{hugs}}!! allcats Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 31, 2008 Report Share Posted December 31, 2008 I agree with SLarsen on this one. You're wasting too much time and energy thinking about it. Its what she wants. Its her way of manipulting you. Just respond by saying " oops sorry must have misplaced them " and leave it at that. Sell them or give them away. Its too much work for you to deal with. If the books were so damned important to her she could come pick them up herself. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > I'll try to be brief here... > > > > > > > First - stepnada walked out of my sister and brother- > > in- > > law's > > > > house > > > > > > > with my father in tow about two years ago because my > > sister > > > > > > > said, " please stop arguing with me, " to stepnada > > (during > > one of > > > > > > > stepnada's 'I'm always right and you're always wrong' > > tirades) > > > > and > > > > > > > this translated into DISRESPECT. My father (before > > they > > > > stormed > > > > > > out) > > > > > > > told my sister that she " needed to apologize to " > > stepnada. > > She > > > > > > > refused and said she had done nothing wrong. My > > sister, > > was > > > > not > > > > > > > willing to be the one to fix things and go crawling > > back to > > > > her, > > > > > > YET > > > > > > > AGAIN, so she let the lines of communication close. > > She > > has > > > > since > > > > > > > had another baby and I have no idea if they are aware. > > > > Though > > > > > > since > > > > > > > stepnada's nieces are friends of ours on Myspace, I'm > > sure > > they > > > > > > have > > > > > > > found out. Stepnada and dad have may no attempts to > > patch > > > > things > > > > > > up > > > > > > > and have always effectively walked out on my 3 y.o. > > niece. > > > > Though > > > > > > > this is probably the best thing that could have > > happened > > for > > > > that > > > > > > > baby. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > As for me - I have not spoken to stepnada in a year. > > We > > didn't > > > > > > fight > > > > > > > or anything, I just waited too long to call (it is > > ALWAYS > > up to > > > > me > > > > > > to > > > > > > > call) and too much time went by - enough to know that > > when > > I > > > > > > finally > > > > > > > did call, I would be given a wicked guilt trip. Plus, > > my > > > > sister > > > > > > was > > > > > > > pregnant at the time, and I knew if they found out > > that I > > knew > > > > the > > > > > > > whole time that she was pregnant and didn't tell them, > > that > > I > > > > would > > > > > > > be in a WORLD OF S**T!! My stepnada made clear to me > > the > > few > > > > times > > > > > > I > > > > > > > spoke to her (previous to my going NC) just how much > > she > > > > despises > > > > > > my > > > > > > > sis. Very uncomfortable to not be able to talk about > > half > > your > > > > > > life > > > > > > > to your parents. How ridiculous right? Why do I feel > > like > > I'm > > > > > > being > > > > > > > the childish one? God, I'm 29 years old and afraid to > > talk > > to > > > > my > > > > > > > stepmother. How sad. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > So anyway, my birthday came and went (April) and I > > heard > > > > NOTHING > > > > > > from > > > > > > > her. So I knew she was pissed. Didn't care, didn't > > try to > > > > call > > > > > > her, > > > > > > > didn't want to fix it, don't miss her. My father > > wrote me > > an > > > > email > > > > > > a > > > > > > > few days after and I told him how bad I felt that our > > family > > > > had > > > > > > > completely fallen apart and that I was scared to talk > > to > > her. > > > > He > > > > > > > reiterated that my sister had been completely > > disrespectful > > and > > > > > > that > > > > > > > I " know how my sister is. " I wanted to say, " NO! But > > I do > > > > know > > > > > > how > > > > > > > much of a b**ch your wife is! " > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Today, I get a long text asking for some books back > > that > > > > stepnada > > > > > > had > > > > > > > loaned me before everything went to hell. She said it > > would be > > > > > > fine > > > > > > > for me to " just leave them on the doorstep " of their > > house. > > > > She's > > > > > > on > > > > > > > Christmas break (this woman is a HS teacher) - like I > > would > > > > EVER go > > > > > > > over there knowing she is sitting around in her PJ's > > just > > > > waiting > > > > > > to > > > > > > > confront me. I'm sure she has plenty to say about > > what a > > > > sh****y > > > > > > > daughter I am and how hard my dad cries (when I was > > still > > > > talking > > > > > > to > > > > > > > her, she would tell me how he cried b/c of sister.) > > Really? > > > > What > > > > > > > about how he promised to call my sister back to work > > things > > out > > > > and > > > > > > > never did? Who's fault is that exactly? > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Okay, so...Do I respond? I still haven't texted back > > (it's > > > > been > > > > > > > about 2 1/2 hours since I read it - don't know when it > > was > > > > sent.) > > > > > > > Is there some sick message in the fact that she > > decided to > > text > > > > me > > > > > > > this close to, yet AFTER Christmas? > > > > > > > Is it wrong to not respond at all and just mail those > > books > > > > back to > > > > > > > her? She only lives about 5 miles away. I have a > > feeling > > > > she'll > > > > > > > keep texting until she gets some sort of response. > > Even if > > > > it's > > > > > > just > > > > > > > OK. I'm afraid responding will open the channels of > > > > communication > > > > > > > and I have nothing to say to her. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Feeling a little freaked out here. > > > > > > > Thanks for reading, and any suggestions you may have! > > > > > > > allcats > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 3, 2009 Report Share Posted January 3, 2009 Sorry - I've been gone for a few days - I am so sorry to hear about this P & Bflowers. It is beyond disrespectful and depressing when they try to lay claim to what is not theirs. Steams me up just thinking about it! When my uncle died, my father had to id his body and start cleaning up the house - it had been their mother's but my strange uncle would not let my father inside after their mother (my grandma) died. As soon as stepnada walked in the house, she loudly announced in front of my cousins and uncle (who she kept out of our lives), " I want the silver tea set that G--- (my grandma) had if it's still in this house. I've always liked it and I want it. " Hmmm...do you think maybe her grandchildren might have a larger claim to it than a acerbic b**ch who spoke badly about her mother in law from day one??? I was fuming and embarrassed to be seen with her. > > Hi All Cats; > > Ha, this cada even cut off her own son, and cheated him out of money that > his father left him. Now she's waiting for my father to die, so she can try > and " claim " what she says is hers. NOTHING is hers! Somehow she feels > entitled to it just because she saw it and wants it. My nada gave her more > attention and things and their weird form of love than she did my sister and > me - but it was never enough. Just like her son feared her showing up at his > wedding, we fear her trying to break the will or do something illegal to get > what she wants - even though all is left are a few pieces of furniture. > There is one piece my sister wants and it's cool with me and my father - but > so does that cada! I think she checks the obituaries. Her long time live-in > boyfriend is a process server and they have all kinds of ways of getting > information about people. My sister suspects that cada set her up in a > situation...long story but unfortunately probably true. And my sister is 58 > and disabled - yet works a full-time job - yes - as a personal trainer in a > gym - even though she has MS! > > Flowers in Oz > > > Re: Text breaks NC... > > > Flowers she sounds absolutely bonkers - she reminds me a lot of my > stepnada. She's always cutting people off. Not in so many words, > but I can't tell you how many people she was best buddies with one > day and the next we were never allowed to utter his/her name in the > house again. Now she cut off her husband's own children. Sick. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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