another book rec: Will I Ever Be Good Enough

[Guest guest]

This book is for daughters raised by narcissist mothers, the damage

that does, and how to start healing from it.

The whole title is:

" Will I Ever Be Good Enough? Healing the Daughters of Narcissistic

Mothers " by Karyl McBride, Ph.D.

Dr. McBride has an active practice in Colorado; I wish I lived there

so I could consult her!

At her website there is a checklist of feelings/situations/behaviors

that indicate narcissist traits, and my nada fits most of the 30

listed. I sensed that my nada has a lot of n-traits, and this

certainly tends to confirm my belief.

Here's part of the checklist, and you can find the rest at her website:

http://www.nevergoodenough.com/survey.asp

" Narcissism is a spectrum disorder with the most severe end of the

spectrum considered a narcissistic personality disorder. A woman can

have several narcissistic traits and not fit the personality disorder.

Mothers with only a few traits listed can negatively affect their

daughters in insidious ways which is explained in Dr. McBride's book.

(Check all those that apply to your relationship with your mother)

Please feel free to print this page

1. When you discuss your life issues with your mother, does she or did

she divert the discussion to talk about herself?

2. When you discuss your feelings with your mother, does she or did

she try to top the feeling with her own?

3. Does or did your mother act jealous of you?

4. Does or did your mother lack empathy for your feelings?

5. Does or did your mother only support those things you do that

reflect on her as a " good mother " ?

6. Have you consistently felt a lack of emotional closeness with your

mother?

7. Have you consistently questioned whether or not your mother likes

you or loves you?

8. Does or did your mother only do things for you when others can see?

9. When something happens in your life (accident, illness, divorce),

does or did your mother react with how it will affect her rather than

how you feel?

10. Is or was your mother overly conscious of what others think

(neighbors, friends, family, co-workers)?

So far, my answer is " ...yes! "

-Annie