----> writermanqueRe: Nada got a lawyer

[Guest guest]

They're your children.  This is your family and your life.  Nobody is a perfect

mom - but usually the mom's that are willing to admit they're not perfect (IMO)

are the closest to perfect

You /can/ protect your kids.  This guy has nothing to go on thus far except

heresay and there needs to be evidence involved.  Personally I would write up a

few particular episodes including dates and times when she was verbally abusive,

name witnesses and keep it on file should the need ever arise to produce your

own evidence.  If you can't get an exact date, get as close as you can.

The more you have in writing, the stronger case you have.  I would play your

cards close to the vest and keep this lawyer as uninformed as possible until it

becomes an actual legal issue.  People often think nada's are saints ... and

they're /wrong/.

________________________________

To: WTOAdultChildren1

Sent: Wednesday, December 10, 2008 9:24:41 AM

Subject: Nada got a lawyer

Ugh. I've been NC for over a year now following an episode where

nada called my daughter " hideous " and told my kids that they looked

like orphans, and the subsequent insults, attacks, and denials when

I told her not to do that. Well, my husband (an attorney) got an e-

mail today from an attorney from another firm who is a long-time

family friend of nada/dad (actually a classmate of my sister). I'll

just copy the e-mail here:

" Hi [hubby] - thanks for the chance to visit a few minutes ago. I

don't know, and don't need to know, the background on the issues,

but I know you and [writermanque] are really good people, and I've

know [Dad] and [nada] forever and they are really good people, and

they would love to be able to see you, [writermanque] and the kids

again if possible. I don't claim to be any good at things like

this, but I care, and would like to help in any way possible to

hopefully open some lines of communication. Thanks for listening. "

I realize that he hasn't been formally " retained " on their behalf,

at least it doesn't appear to be the case. I do think, however,

that their choice of this particular intermediary who happens to be

a lawyer is a veiled threat. This is the type of thing they do, but

when you call them on it they say " Oh, we just chose him because he

and [hubby] are colleagues.. . "

I feel sick to my stomach right now. The emotional part of me wants

to send him a three-page reply detailing all of the BS that nada has

pulled. The rational part of me knows that I should just politely

say it's none of his business. The mother bear part of me is

FREAKING OUT as I keep having this irrational fear that they're

going to come after my kids, and since I'm far from a perfect mom

and they have such a friggin' hypocritical but pristine public

perception that they might prevail--not in getting custody, but in

getting limited visitation, and I'll be forced to WATCH my kids get

manipulated and see my fiendish nada get her way, no matter what my

wishes are.

Help!?!