UPDATE; Re: Cry for attention? Total disregard? Suicide coming soon?

[Guest guest]

You ask why part of you is broken? Our nadas " broke " us, the way

trainers break circus animals: we were starved (for affection), and

punished harshly or ignored or beaten into submission and obedience.

We were severely abused during the most vulnerable and tender years of

our existence by the person who was supposed to be nurturing us.

You are re-awakening your sense of self-preservation, and that is

excellent. Keep going for it. I'm glad that you are not going to

allow your nada to drive you or your child anywhere, I think your

therapist is right: your nada is too unstable and dangerous to be

driving anyone anywhere, at least right now. I truly hope she doesn't

cause an accident and hurt or kill some innocent person.

We can beat ourselves up asking " why " , but the only answer is: That's

what mental illness *is*: Its irrational, bizarre, self-destructive,

hostile behavior.

Its hard to accept that our own parent is severely mentally ill, but

its part of self-preservation.

-Annie

> >

> > Last night's " car trip " with Nada.

> >

> > Did some local shopping with Nada. She drove. She was " sad " last

> > night (didn't know THAT before I went with her...). In a dense fog,

> > going up a dark rural freeway she decides to play " sad music " . She

> > starts driving off the road because she has her eyes closed.

> > OMG!!!! " MOTHER OPEN YOUR EYES AND STAY ON THE ROAD "

> >

> > Her reply, " Oh yeah, I guess I should... "

> >

> > A few months ago she drove off an embankment and landed her car

> > several feed down, sideways. Wasn't seriously injured and her car

> > is " ok " . Has a load of bumps, dings, dents, etc. from " not her fault

> > incidents " .

> >

> > It scares the bejeebies out of me but last night really sent it over

> > the edge.

> >

> > Lynnette

> >

>