Generational BPD ~ Crisis

[Guest guest]

Ok....Wanting some input from this terrific group of support and compassion!

Here is the situation - I have a younger 30-something yo brother, whom I

suspect is BPD

- living at home, jobless for 2 years and now sharing with others that he feels

he is " losing

his mind " and feels life is not worth living anymore.

He lives at home with our mother, who is BPD and our very co-dependent father.

A few of us siblings are trying to intervene at this point, fearing that my

brother is suicidal

and could take action on these thoughts.

My mother is basically wanting to " dump " the problem, whenever we try to discuss

our

brother with her - her first statements are always focused on him not having

insurance " ,

and then after this statement, she typically breaks down, crying and saying that

she does

not want to talk about it any more.

My mother is very tight with her money (very well off though) and I do think

that part of

her wanting to dump the problem is driven by her own BPD, and financial

tightness.

My thoughts are that we should just leave her and my Dad out of this

intervention, and

focus solely on my brother and his issues. (abit difficult to do I am thinking,

as my brother

lives @ home with my mom/dad!)

The problem is that since he lives at home, the entire situation seems somewhat

hopeless

to me......at least two BPD's enmeshed and living together (my mom and brother),

and a

father who basically does not want to deal with it either. Both parents are also

alcoholics.

Am looking for thoughts, suggestions and sharing of similar experiences...I want

to make

sure I stay balanced through this, and not become enmeshed or enabling...just

trying to

determine what is best for my brother!