Re: Just when I think I am OK...

December 18, 2008

I don't blame you for feeling the way you do. I don't think it was

fair for him to give you a guilt trip about calling her for the

holidays. No wonder it pushed your defense button.

I'd just say, " Look, you don't have to agree with my decision, but I

expect you to respect my right to make it. " and tell him you will

call her when you're ready.

Hope you two are able to work through this conflict together.

>

> I can't decide if my husband is just mean-spirited or an idiot, but

> tonight he set off my waterworks. The worst part for me is that it

> caught me completely off guard. He had kind of been picking at me

> all night over really stupid little things. Then all of a sudden

he

> brought up Nada. I have been pretty much NC for the last 4 months

> with one small exception.

>

> He started bugging me about calling her with it being close to the

> holidays and all. (Most days he discourages contact with Nada

> vehemently.) However, for whatever reason, he just felt onery and

> decided to push my buttons tonight.

>

> I got pretty upset and told him that he doesn't understand how

> painful it is to me. I would love to have a Mom who I could call

and

> discuss holiday plans with. No I mean it would absolutely be a

dream

> come true.

>

> Reality dictates however, that this will NEVER happen for me. She

is

> 63 years old and sees NOTHING wrong with her behavior. (Actually

she

> believes it is me who has issues.)

>

> I was really taken aback at how painful this is for me. I think

> maybe I am finally facing reality and starting the greiving

process.

> I am not very good with reality though and this is breaking my

heart.

>

December 18, 2008