Face-to-face support groups??? Any info/support appreciated!

[Guest guest]

Hi, I'm Sherry. This is my first message to the group.

Here's my situation as briefly as possible. Growing up, I never

thought my family was sick and dysfunctional. I just thought there

was something really wrong with me, because Nada was always putting

me down and expressing contempt and dissatisfaction with me. Like

many people, I suspect that I went into the mental health field

to " cure myself " . I joke that my four years in graduate school were

the most expensive course of therapy ever! Fada was no better; he was

a deadbeat dad, and it's probably more accurate to call him

antisocial and narcisistic, rather than borderline. Anyway, for

several years I was NC with my parents and my sister (by the way, is

there any term for a " not-a-sister " , because if not, there needs to

be). Well, a few years ago I let Nada back into my life. I was going

through a hard time, and I needed support, and it seemed as though

she had changed, or at least mellowed. It was the biggest mistake of

my life.

You'd think by now, I'd have learned not to put my trust in her. What

happened was that I let her lead me into a set of bad life decisions.

I moved down where she lived, got a job, and was happy for a while.

She moved away after a year, and then I was happier still. But then a

series of misfortunes befell me. I was laid off from work and unable

to find a new job (or indeed any job at all). I was unable to pay my

bills or sell my house. This went on for seven months, until I fell

into a terrible depression. I'd been subject to depression since my

childhood, which is no surprise, I guess, considering my family

background. My mother balked from helping me pay my bills, and

insisted that I come live with her up north, in Indianapolis, where

she said it would be easier for me to get work.

I could forsee big problems in the making with this plan. But I

thought: If I can get a two jobs, work up to 15 or 16 hours a day,

and save up my money, I can afford an apartment of my own after a few

months, and I'll be working so much that I won't have to see her that

much.

What has happened is that I am having just as much trouble finding a

job up here. And living with her is making me more and more

depressed. I grew up feeling that I was a burden to her, and she

still makes me feel that way. Her moods are so unpredictable, and I'm

constantly walking on eggshells. Any little thing can set her off

into one of her screaming, hysterical rages. Last night, she went off

on me because I had put some of the dishes away in the wrong place.

Any normal person would be grateful that I was making an effort to

help around the house, but if a task isn't done exactly the way she

wants it, she goes right into rage mode.

So, because for the present I have to put up with her, I am looking

for support. I found this group a couple weeks ago, and reading some

of the posts has helped me in knowing that I'm not alone. But I would

really like more direct support as well. Are there any meet-up groups

for Adult Children of BP parents that anyone knows about? I am in the

Indianapolis suburbs. Since I am still not working and am new to the

area, some days the only person I have contact with is Nada, and it's

really taking a toll on me. I also have a pending appointment with a

therapist in three weeks to help me cope with my present situation.

Thanks in advance for your feedback. It gives me hope to know that

I'm not alone.