Re: Suggestions on how to get a BP parent to stop coming to your house constantl

[Guest guest]

This is what my mom does, too. When I try to do something that she doesn't want

me to

do, even though it is perfectly normal and healthy, she basically throws a fit.

Then after a

time she gets over it, essentially. For some things it takes her months. For

others just a

couple of days. But the same exact thing--yells, cries, throws things, brings

up her list of

grievances from the past. All of it.

>

> > Hello,

> >

> > Thanks so much for taking the time to read this. I'll be replying to posts

> > as soon as I figure out how to set one of the profiles I tried creating. I

> > just finished " Walking on Eggshells " and am really glad to find a group of

> > people who have similar experiences.

> >

> > Here is my problem. My mother is BP and this past year has been extremely

> > suffocating. She constantly goes to my house several times a week during the

> > day even when I've begged her not to. She uses excuses like having fruit or

> > something to drop off. I've told her that I don't want her fruit, I have the

> > same exact thing and she still goes over and calls me later. We had given

> > them a key to the house in case we got locked out, so my dad always goes and

> > lets her in (he won't tell her no on things as she makes his life

> > miserable). My therapist said to change the locks, but my husband won't do

> > it.

> >

> > My main problem is that I'll be quitting work soon to stay home with our

> > children, and I can't have her coming over all the time. She makes life

> > miserable when she's around, demeaning me in front of my girls, putting one

> > of them down (she switches which one she likes and doesn't like constantly).

> > I'd really prefer not having her near them. We visit her for a short time

> > frame each month, and call her several times a week, and that is more than

> > enough for all of us. I'm almost to the point of telling her I can't stand

> > it anymore, but I don't want my dad to be cut out. And I don't want to add

> > to her feeling of abandonment, which I'm sure is partially what's driving

> > the house calls.

> >

> > Has anyone had a similar situation with a BP parent? How did you set

> > boundaries and have both parties stick to them?

> >

> > Thank you so much.

> >

> >