Guest guest Posted December 19, 2008 Report Share Posted December 19, 2008 I am reposting this post because my last one way hyjacked.... My bpd mother has just been admitted to hospital with a suspected brain tumour. I currently live about 20,000km away from her and have had no proper contact with her in about 5years because of her bpd-ness and Ive now got a family of my own of which I dont want her to taint. Nonetheless I'm worried about her, she is quite sick. I hear about her current condition through a family friend. I do also plan, in a couple of months, to go back to my home country, but what shall I do? regain minimal contact with her before then or over xmas (she will still be in hospital over xmas) the new year or just leave it until I make the long trip home with my young daughter? (my BPDmother also has never met or seen her grandchildren, at my request). I sent flowers to the hospital from myself, my husband and kids just to let her know I know and that we do indeed care. Shes just hurt me so much over the years I don't know what to do in her time of need?.....hopefully someone has been in a similar situation or has some advice? Thanks Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 19, 2008 Report Share Posted December 19, 2008 Hi - yes, i'm in a similar position. I went nc with my bpd mum for 2 years - then she was admitted to hospital about 6 weeks ago with an overdose. I went up to see her after about a week (my cousin guilt-tripped me. Despite feeling really good, i couldn't cope with not seeing her when my cousin did this). I went and saw her on the psychiatric ward. She is still there, but is quite sick. She has deteriorated - been taken to the resus dept twice after collapsing (they don't know why) and lost loads of weight through not eating. I've been up to see her loads of times over the past week (she lives 2 hours away). When I tell her I love her, she guilt trips me. She kept being pathetic at first and saying " why did you stay away for 2 years? " This made me feel terrible. Now I tell her i love her and she says " no you don't - you wouldn't have stayed away for 2 years " . So I'm back to square one! Decide for yourself what you think is best. But it is hard - the double-bind - you can't win either way. Jeanie > > I am reposting this post because my last one way hyjacked.... > > My bpd mother has just been admitted to hospital with a suspected > > brain tumour. I currently live about 20,000km away from her and have > > had no proper contact with her in about 5years because of her bpd- ness > > and Ive now got a family of my own of which I dont want her to taint. > > Nonetheless I'm worried about her, she is quite sick. I hear about her > > current condition through a family friend. > > I do also plan, in a couple of months, to go back to my home country, > > but what shall I do? regain minimal contact with her before then or > > over xmas (she will still be in hospital over xmas) the new year or > > just leave it until I make the long trip home with my young daughter? > > (my BPDmother also has never met or seen her grandchildren, at my > > request). > > I sent flowers to the hospital from myself, my husband and kids just > > to let her know I know and that we do indeed care. Shes just hurt me > > so much over the years I don't know what to do in her time of > > need?.....hopefully someone has been in a similar situation or has > > some advice? > > Thanks > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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