Guest guest Posted November 25, 2008 Report Share Posted November 25, 2008 happyout wrote: >>Ive just had my first panic attack in 2 months. Ive noticed now that since Monday Ive been visiting my nada in hospital and since then Ive started eating junk food, havnet been exercising, looking after myself etc. I try inside and outside to pretend that I can cope with my nada and my NPD father and sister - but I have to admit now that Im not able and being around them is severely damaging my health and my entire life. << My father was diagnosed with cancer late Dec 2007, and died May 2008. During those 6 months I saw him only 2 times, because I couldn't handle seeing my mother. I discovered that it took a whole week to recover from the 3 hour drive there and back, and the 4 hours max spent with them. I felt physically exhausted, like I had pneumonia. Both times it happened that way. So when the call came from my mother that he wouldn't make it past that weekend, I didn't go. I'd already said goodbye 2 months previous, and wasn't about to be sucked into any drama that his death might bring on. I HAD to take care of myself--tht was non-optional. I didn't go to his burial, but I did go to the funeral. I had panic attacks leading up to the hour of the service, but managed to get through it safely, with many " bodyguards " around me. Yes, my mother has been trashing me for only seeing him 2 times, but I can't help that. I'm healthier, with fewer bad memories of her (and him) because I saw him only twice. It's okay to protect yourself by limiting contact. Don't visit in the hospital unless YOU really want to. Don't do it out of fear, obligation or guilt. Honoria Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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