Re: Help me find the bright side of my mothers madness.

[Guest guest]

>

> I'm the 41 year old daughter of a woman with bpd. I was raised by my

> grandmother. My grandmother had been paying my mothers mortgage for

> two years. When my grandmother told her she could no longer afford

> her bills she remarried for the ninth time and relocated out of state.

> Once she was settled with her new husband she come home long enough

> to make my grandmothers funeral arrangements, empty all of her bank

> accounts ($80,000.00 her life savings) and then left town. Now my 85

> year old grandmother who has taken care of my mother all her life,

> taken care of her children....is left with nothing. we just cant

> believe she did this. How do you find peace with such evil?

>

Wow, that is really rotten. Was your mother's name on the bank

accounts? Or was she somehow otherwise legally allowed to make those

withdrawals? If not, report it to the police. I can't believe she

made funeral arrangements while your grandmother is still living.

Yikes. I suggest helping your grandmother remove any of your mother's

legal rights regarding grandmother's assets--wills, POAs, accounts,

etc.--if you haven't already.

Anger about that kind of behavior is just. I admire you, though, for

wanting to work toward finding peace. I don't think you have to feel

peaceful about evil--evil ought to make us angry. But finding peace

for yourself is valuable. In my situation, one of the most helpful

things I have done is to pray for my mother. I have found more

compassion for her. That's not to say that I excuse her behavior, but

on the contrary I am sad that she feels a need to act that way or

doesn't want to find another way to cope with life.

Your mother's behavior is truly abhorrent. I'm sorry you all had to go

through this--but try to use it to grow stronger, to learn.

[Guest guest]

I did it... Oh boy did I do it... I wonder how she is going to make me

pay. I reported her. Adult proactive services have taken over. My

Nada could get 15 years in jail and a $10,000. fine. May brother is

upset that I could do this to my nada, he is the good one. I do feel

guilty, sad, and very scared. I keep seeing pictures of her in my

mind being taken away in handcuffs. Oh dear god great me the

serenity to except the things I can not change, courage to change the

things I can...... and the wisdom to know the difference. I hope I

did the right thing... Please, someone tell me I did the right thing.....

> >

> > I'm the 41 year old daughter of a woman with bpd. I was raised by my

> > grandmother. My grandmother had been paying my mothers mortgage for

> > two years. When my grandmother told her she could no longer afford

> > her bills she remarried for the ninth time and relocated out of state.

> > Once she was settled with her new husband she come home long enough

> > to make my grandmothers funeral arrangements, empty all of her bank

> > accounts ($80,000.00 her life savings) and then left town. Now my 85

> > year old grandmother who has taken care of my mother all her life,

> > taken care of her children....is left with nothing. we just cant

> > believe she did this. How do you find peace with such evil?

> >

>

> Wow, that is really rotten. Was your mother's name on the bank

> accounts? Or was she somehow otherwise legally allowed to make those

> withdrawals? If not, report it to the police. I can't believe she

> made funeral arrangements while your grandmother is still living.

> Yikes. I suggest helping your grandmother remove any of your mother's

> legal rights regarding grandmother's assets--wills, POAs, accounts,

> etc.--if you haven't already.

>

> Anger about that kind of behavior is just. I admire you, though, for

> wanting to work toward finding peace. I don't think you have to feel

> peaceful about evil--evil ought to make us angry. But finding peace

> for yourself is valuable. In my situation, one of the most helpful

> things I have done is to pray for my mother. I have found more

> compassion for her. That's not to say that I excuse her behavior, but

> on the contrary I am sad that she feels a need to act that way or

> doesn't want to find another way to cope with life.

>

> Your mother's behavior is truly abhorrent. I'm sorry you all had to go

> through this--but try to use it to grow stronger, to learn.

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

You did the right thing. Your nada was committing crimes against

your grandmother. Having to report a relative for something like

this is a horrible thing to have to do, but it is important to

protect the victim.

At 08:02 AM 11/27/2008 emilydawn15 wrote:

>I did it... Oh boy did I do it... I wonder how she is going to

>make me

>pay. I reported her. Adult proactive services have taken

>over. My

>Nada could get 15 years in jail and a $10,000. fine. May

>brother is

>upset that I could do this to my nada, he is the good one. I

>do feel

>guilty, sad, and very scared. I keep seeing pictures of her in

>my

>mind being taken away in handcuffs. Oh dear god great me

>the

>serenity to except the things I can not change, courage to

>change the

>things I can...... and the wisdom to know the difference. I

>hope I

>did the right thing... Please, someone tell me I did the right

>thing.....

--

Katrina

[Guest guest]

((((((((())))))))))

You are so awesome. It takes real courage to do the right thing,

sometimes, and truly you did do the right thing. You stood up for

your helpless, elderly grandmother and protected her from a thief who

just happened to be her own daughter.

It is so heartening and inspiring to read of a person doing the right

thing even when it comes at a high cost to her or him.

I hope your grandmother will be able to get her life savings back, or

at least most of it, but whether she does or not I'm sure you will

always be her hero.

Many, many kudos to you.

-Annie

> > >

> > > I'm the 41 year old daughter of a woman with bpd. I was raised

by my

> > > grandmother. My grandmother had been paying my mothers mortgage for

> > > two years. When my grandmother told her she could no longer afford

> > > her bills she remarried for the ninth time and relocated out of

state.

> > > Once she was settled with her new husband she come home long enough

> > > to make my grandmothers funeral arrangements, empty all of her bank

> > > accounts ($80,000.00 her life savings) and then left town. Now

my 85

> > > year old grandmother who has taken care of my mother all her life,

> > > taken care of her children....is left with nothing. we just cant

> > > believe she did this. How do you find peace with such evil?

> > >

> >

> > Wow, that is really rotten. Was your mother's name on the bank

> > accounts? Or was she somehow otherwise legally allowed to make those

> > withdrawals? If not, report it to the police. I can't believe she

> > made funeral arrangements while your grandmother is still living.

> > Yikes. I suggest helping your grandmother remove any of your

mother's

> > legal rights regarding grandmother's assets--wills, POAs, accounts,

> > etc.--if you haven't already.

> >

> > Anger about that kind of behavior is just. I admire you, though, for

> > wanting to work toward finding peace. I don't think you have to feel

> > peaceful about evil--evil ought to make us angry. But finding peace

> > for yourself is valuable. In my situation, one of the most helpful

> > things I have done is to pray for my mother. I have found more

> > compassion for her. That's not to say that I excuse her behavior,

but

> > on the contrary I am sad that she feels a need to act that way or

> > doesn't want to find another way to cope with life.

> >

> > Your mother's behavior is truly abhorrent. I'm sorry you all had

to go

> > through this--but try to use it to grow stronger, to learn.

> >

> >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

,

OF COURSE you did the right thing. Good job!

> > >

> > > I'm the 41 year old daughter of a woman with bpd. I was raised

by my

> > > grandmother. My grandmother had been paying my mothers mortgage

for

> > > two years. When my grandmother told her she could no longer

afford

> > > her bills she remarried for the ninth time and relocated out of

state.

> > > Once she was settled with her new husband she come home long

enough

> > > to make my grandmothers funeral arrangements, empty all of her

bank

> > > accounts ($80,000.00 her life savings) and then left town. Now

my 85

> > > year old grandmother who has taken care of my mother all her

life,

> > > taken care of her children....is left with nothing. we just

cant

> > > believe she did this. How do you find peace with such evil?

> > >

> >

> > Wow, that is really rotten. Was your mother's name on the bank

> > accounts? Or was she somehow otherwise legally allowed to make

those

> > withdrawals? If not, report it to the police. I can't believe

she

> > made funeral arrangements while your grandmother is still

living.

> > Yikes. I suggest helping your grandmother remove any of your

mother's

> > legal rights regarding grandmother's assets--wills, POAs,

accounts,

> > etc.--if you haven't already.

> >

> > Anger about that kind of behavior is just. I admire you, though,

for

> > wanting to work toward finding peace. I don't think you have to

feel

> > peaceful about evil--evil ought to make us angry. But finding

peace

> > for yourself is valuable. In my situation, one of the most

helpful

> > things I have done is to pray for my mother. I have found more

> > compassion for her. That's not to say that I excuse her

behavior, but

> > on the contrary I am sad that she feels a need to act that way or

> > doesn't want to find another way to cope with life.

> >

> > Your mother's behavior is truly abhorrent. I'm sorry you all had

to go

> > through this--but try to use it to grow stronger, to learn.

> >

> >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Wow!  I am impressed, .  What courage.  You did the right thing for your

grandmother, and also did the right thing for yourself, meaning that you did

what you felt needed to be done, instead of allowing the fear of other's

reactions to dictate your actions.  That is wonderful!

Subject: Re: Help me find the bright side of my mothers

madness.

To: WTOAdultChildren1

Date: Thursday, November 27, 2008, 9:15 AM

((((((((() )))))))))

You are so awesome. It takes real courage to do the right thing,

sometimes, and truly you did do the right thing. You stood up for

your helpless, elderly grandmother and protected her from a thief who

just happened to be her own daughter.

It is so heartening and inspiring to read of a person doing the right

thing even when it comes at a high cost to her or him.

I hope your grandmother will be able to get her life savings back, or

at least most of it, but whether she does or not I'm sure you will

always be her hero.

Many, many kudos to you.

-Annie

> > >

> > > I'm the 41 year old daughter of a woman with bpd. I was raised

by my

> > > grandmother. My grandmother had been paying my mothers mortgage for

> > > two years. When my grandmother told her she could no longer afford

> > > her bills she remarried for the ninth time and relocated out of

state.

> > > Once she was settled with her new husband she come home long enough

> > > to make my grandmothers funeral arrangements, empty all of her bank

> > > accounts ($80,000.00 her life savings) and then left town. Now

my 85

> > > year old grandmother who has taken care of my mother all her life,

> > > taken care of her children.... is left with nothing. we just cant

> > > believe she did this. How do you find peace with such evil?

> > >

> >

> > Wow, that is really rotten. Was your mother's name on the bank

> > accounts? Or was she somehow otherwise legally allowed to make those

> > withdrawals? If not, report it to the police. I can't believe she

> > made funeral arrangements while your grandmother is still living.

> > Yikes. I suggest helping your grandmother remove any of your

mother's

> > legal rights regarding grandmother' s assets--wills, POAs, accounts,

> > etc.--if you haven't already.

> >

> > Anger about that kind of behavior is just. I admire you, though, for

> > wanting to work toward finding peace. I don't think you have to feel

> > peaceful about evil--evil ought to make us angry. But finding peace

> > for yourself is valuable. In my situation, one of the most helpful

> > things I have done is to pray for my mother. I have found more

> > compassion for her. That's not to say that I excuse her behavior,

but

> > on the contrary I am sad that she feels a need to act that way or

> > doesn't want to find another way to cope with life.

> >

> > Your mother's behavior is truly abhorrent. I'm sorry you all had

to go

> > through this--but try to use it to grow stronger, to learn.

> >

> >

> >

>