Hello

[Guest guest]

Well, this is really scary. I have been participating in a group for people

with BPD children,

and that has been good and bad--what else?!--but not as scary as this, because

now I'm

going to try to hang out with people who are themselves the children of a BPD.

In my

case, the family configuration is even weirder, and I will admit to you that I'm

not 100%

positive that BPD would be the diagnosis for my mother....it might be NPD. In

fact, I think

it's both, and I think that is probably pretty common. My father is NPD,

something I didn't

realize until my mother died and his true nature came out (he had to dance

attendance on

her for so many years, I suppose it was only when she left that he could show

his true

colors. So a NPD father and a BPD/NPD mother. Oh--my grandfather, I'm entirely

sure,

was NPD/BPD/antisocial, and all his children were nuts in some way: not only my

mother,

but there was alcoholism, suicide, personality disorders, severe depression,

etc., etc., etc.

on my mother's side of the family.

I had an adopted sister who was BPD/antisocial (truly). I married a BPD man,

and left him

when the baby we had was 14 months old. She is my BPD daughter.

Are you confused yet? I sure am. I feel like a personality - disordered

sandwich. Oh, and

there's me: I'm the " lost child, " the codependent, the scapegoat, the survivor.

Pia Mellody

wrote a book about codependency, and she actually called codependency a

personality

disorder. That seems to be pushing it just a bit too far, but it was an

interesting idea,

because we really do get so terribly sick trying to " fix " everyone around us,

huh?

Anyway, I am now married to a wonderful man for some 20 years, and we have an

entirely

normal, lovely daughter. My BPD daughter hangs around the fringes--by her

choice--

trying to " split " and throwing tantrums, etc. She had her first baby a year

ago, and I'm

pretty sure her husband is BPD. Anyway, what seems terrifying and really

interesting,

here, is that this is a list for people who were raised by a BPD. I will look

forward to

reading your posts and writing some of my own, and I can certainly say that the

few I've

already looked at have left me nodding and saying, " Yeah, that's how it is. "

Good to meet you.

Rosella