Re: Re: Reporters

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 8/4/2006 9:34:36 AM Eastern Standard Time, dawnsusan@... writes:

For Brigite and Lenya,I know this idea might sound crazy, and it would take guts, but do you think you could go to the local media and see if they will do a story on you? You can describe all the avenues you have tried -- teaching hospitals, loan options, etc. Doctors you have seen for your illnesses. You could be frank with your symptoms and get cliffs notes versions of facts for the reporters to check (make it easy for them to do a story), including research articles, this support site, contact info for Dr. Kolb or Dr. Melmed, who would probably be happy to speak publically on how bad implants are.

Speaking for myself,

This has been suggested to me by my friends, as well as talk shows, but I have social phobia from several contributing factors. Mostly from the way what I look like has changed so much from gaining 100 pounds and being sick and not being able to take care of myself how I used to... then when people who used to know me see me, they laugh or act stunned and make snide remarks about "What happened to you? Are you pregnant? You used to be so tiny --- what happened? OMG you look different!" or they just point and snicker all together. This has happened so many times in public that I won't go to stores or any place during peak hours. My husband's friends (and co workers) have done this to me, so I'm always terrified for people he works with to show up here. His boss used to insist he was having an affair on me when he would see us out together and he would call him immediately and my hubby would be saying "No, I swear, it's Brigite with me." (Over and over.) I've had friends I hadn't seen in a while contact me to tell me he was cheating on me ---when they saw him out with me. I mean, I literally can't say it enough... I looked a lot like Pam before this. People swore I had cosmetic surgery to look like her. Every where I went, people came running up (every day, literally, any time I left my house) saying how much I looked like her, or we'd be having dinner and in the course of dinner several people would stop at our table making comments about that. Men have came up to hubby before (who didn't know him) and said "Your girlfriend (wife) is the most beautiful women I've ever seen." We couldn't go to bars when we were younger, because drunk men were always hitting on me with him right there.

And I'm not saying I was so great, but I'm just saying how different it is now. I used to have agents come up to me. Modeling offers, porn offers (mostly porn offers ). My sister was a feature exotic dancer (and lingerie model) who traveled as the "main show," she did 1 video years ago, and I've had umpteen of her affiliates beg me to do it (which I wouldn't, but it was flattering). My other sister was a $3,000/hour high class celebrity call girl, and also a ring girl for big boxing events. She always tried to get me into that, but that isn't me. (I had brains to make money with, fortunately.)

We went to the Cincinnati Zoo a lot, and a guy there told us the men were telling each other where I was in the Zoo on radio because they thought I was a Playmate. Everyone told me I should try to get in Playboy... I'm not saying this to brag, because I NEVER felt that attractive. I'm saying all this because now 100 pounds later, and looking tired and sick (more like Roseanne), and with my hair all grown out natural ---I look like 2 different people. That person is NO WHERE to be found, and people treat me differently now. Granted, I love being able to walk outside and go places and not have people run up to me ---because that alone sparked social phobic tendencies because I hate attention, so I was always prone to social phobia and after getting implants the anxiety became unbearable. But now, the social phobia is all about fearing running into people I know. The few times I've been out of state, I could go just about any where, any time with no fears. Here, it's very hard. I go to great lengths to avoid people. Even my own parents give me a hard time about what I look like now. They treat me *VERY* differently. They even treat me differently based on whether or not I have makeup on, or if I'm dressed in sweats or nice clothing. Once people know you have the ability to look the way they think is most appealing, they will give you heck when you change. People expect you to look virtually "perfect" like you aren't allowed to gain weight, or age ---like you're not human. Especially when they compare you to a celebrity who has millions of dollars at her disposal to look perpetually 25... they expect you to be the same way. (They also want to TREAT you how they would treat that person, but that's another story for another time! lol)

Also take into account that in WV, the people aren't nearly as beautiful as places like California and Florida ---where I swear the drinking water makes genetic enhancements! lol j/k

Not to stray from the subject, but the sad thing is that I had such a distorted image of myself that I thought I was hideous all those years. I own maybe 10 pictures of myself, total, from the age of adulthood. I have a handful from my childhood, but once I developed anorexia as a teen --- pictures were haunting.

It's just been a vicious cycle for me to be "looked at." So, this is why tv is out.

The other reason, which is much smaller, is because when my sister was killed I called and went off on every news center here and sent hate mail to them for the way they handled her case. They released that a body had been found before we were even informed. Then, as we were JUST finding out she was killed (didn't even know how or the details yet), they were telling the "hows" and about her being put in a garbage bag for days, and being wrapped up in a rug, etc... things we hadn't even been told. All we got was a phone call from a cop who said she was found dead (after been missing a few days), and that someone would be contacting us. He was planning to come to my parent's house to share more, but the news beat him to everything else.

It is a great idea, though, and I wish I could do it. If I had more "before" pictures of myself, I'd make a perfect case of how sick these have made me.

Brig

PS: I'm sorry to make my posts so long... It's like sometimes I start venting, and it feels good, and my fingers fly. There's no one in my life who I can talk to. My husband doesn't talk to me, and he's about the only person I ever see aside from my parents.

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 8/4/2006 12:44:38 PM Eastern Standard Time, saxony01@... writes:

Brigite . . .

Wow! . . . What an experience! . . . You know what it's like to live in two completely different bodies . . . and how people treat you in each . .. That alone would make a good book! . . . You could educate so many people from the perspective of how it fees to be glamorous and sick . .. and help people understand how cruel their remarks can be.

Rogene,

That's a great point, and I'm glad you caught it. I'm always telling my husband how different life is going from one extreme to the other, and the pros and cons. I will "put it in my notecards!" lol!!!

Brig

[Guest guest]

Brigite . . . Wow! . . . What an experience! . . . You know what it's like to live in two completely different bodies . . . and how people treat you in each . .. That alone would make a good book! . . . You could educate so many people from the perspective of how it fees to be glamorous and sick . .. and help people understand how cruel their remarks can be. They say that "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger" . . . Lady, you are one strong woman! . . . It's hard to see how you can climb back out of the hole you've fallen into . . . but I KNOW you're going to do it! . . . You've got what it takes! You're going to get there regardless of any obstacles that come your way. Feel free to vent anytime! Love, Rogene

[Guest guest]

Umm....nope, there is no way I'd go public!

--- KissofSadness@... wrote:

>

>

> In a message dated 8/4/2006 9:34:36 AM Eastern

> Standard Time,

> dawnsusan@... writes:

>

> For Brigite and Lenya,

>

> I know this idea might sound crazy, and it would

> take guts, but do you

> think you could go to the local media and see if

> they will do a story on

> you? You can describe all the avenues you have

> tried -- teaching

> hospitals, loan options, etc. Doctors you have seen

> for your illnesses.

> You could be frank with your symptoms and get cliffs

> notes versions of

> facts for the reporters to check (make it easy for

> them to do a story),

> including research articles, this support site,

> contact info for Dr.

> Kolb or Dr. Melmed, who would probably be happy to

> speak publically on

> how bad implants are.

>

>

>

> Speaking for myself,

>

> This has been suggested to me by my friends, as

> well as talk shows, but I

> have social phobia from several contributing

> factors. Mostly from the way what

> I look like has changed so much from gaining 100

> pounds and being sick and

> not being able to take care of myself how I used

> to... then when people who

> used to know me see me, they laugh or act stunned

> and make snide remarks about

> " What happened to you? Are you pregnant? You used to

> be so tiny --- what

> happened? OMG you look different! " or they just

> point and snicker all together.

> This has happened so many times in public that I

> won't go to stores or any

> place during peak hours. My husband's friends (and

> co workers) have done this to

> me, so I'm always terrified for people he works with

> to show up here. His

> boss used to insist he was having an affair on me

> when he would see us out

> together and he would call him immediately and my

> hubby would be saying " No, I

> swear, it's Brigite with me. " (Over and over.) I've

> had friends I hadn't seen in

> a while contact me to tell me he was cheating on me

> ---when they saw him

> out with me. I mean, I literally can't say it

> enough... I looked a lot like Pam

> before this. People swore I had cosmetic

> surgery to look like her.

> Every where I went, people came running up (every

> day, literally, any time I

> left my house) saying how much I looked like her, or

> we'd be having dinner

> and in the course of dinner several people would

> stop at our table making

> comments about that. Men have came up to hubby

> before (who didn't know him) and

> said " Your girlfriend (wife) is the most beautiful

> women I've ever seen. " We

> couldn't go to bars when we were younger, because

> drunk men were always hitting

> on me with him right there.

>

> And I'm not saying I was so great, but I'm just

> saying how different it is

> now. I used to have agents come up to me. Modeling

> offers, porn offers (mostly

> porn offers ). My sister was a feature exotic

> dancer (and lingerie model)

> who traveled as the " main show, " she did 1 video

> years ago, and I've had

> umpteen of her affiliates beg me to do it (which I

> wouldn't, but it was

> flattering). My other sister was a $3,000/hour high

> class celebrity call girl, and

> also a ring girl for big boxing events. She always

> tried to get me into that,

> but that isn't me. (I had brains to make money with,

> fortunately.)

>

> We went to the Cincinnati Zoo a lot, and a guy there

> told us the men were

> telling each other where I was in the Zoo on radio

> because they thought I was a

> Playmate. Everyone told me I should try to get in

> Playboy... I'm not saying

> this to brag, because I NEVER felt that attractive.

> I'm saying all this

> because now 100 pounds later, and looking tired and

> sick (more like Roseanne), and

> with my hair all grown out natural ---I look like 2

> different people. That

> person is NO WHERE to be found, and people treat me

> differently now. Granted, I

> love being able to walk outside and go places and

> not have people run up to

> me ---because that alone sparked social phobic

> tendencies because I hate

> attention, so I was always prone to social phobia

> and after getting implants the

> anxiety became unbearable. But now, the social

> phobia is all about fearing

> running into people I know. The few times I've been

> out of state, I could go

> just about any where, any time with no fears. Here,

> it's very hard. I go to

> great lengths to avoid people. Even my own parents

> give me a hard time about

> what I look like now. They treat me *VERY*

> differently. They even treat me

> differently based on whether or not I have makeup

> on, or if I'm dressed in sweats

> or nice clothing. Once people know you have the

> ability to look the way they

> think is most appealing, they will give you heck

> when you change. People

> expect you to look virtually " perfect " like you

> aren't allowed to gain weight, or

> age ---like you're not human. Especially when they

> compare you to a

> celebrity who has millions of dollars at her

> disposal to look perpetually 25... they

> expect you to be the same way. (They also want to

> TREAT you how they would

> treat that person, but that's another story for

> another time! lol)

>

> Also take into account that in WV, the people aren't

> nearly as beautiful as

> places like California and Florida ---where I swear

> the drinking water makes

> genetic enhancements! lol j/k

>

> Not to stray from the subject, but the sad thing is

> that I had such a

> distorted image of myself that I thought I was

> hideous all those years. I own maybe

> 10 pictures of myself, total, from the age of

> adulthood. I have a handful

> from my childhood, but once I developed anorexia as

> a teen --- pictures were

> haunting.

>

> It's just been a vicious cycle for me to be " looked

> at. " So, this is why tv

> is out.

>

> The other reason, which is much smaller, is because

> when my sister was

> killed I called and went off on every news center

> here and sent hate mail to them

> for the way they handled her case. They released

> that a body had been found

> before we were even informed. Then, as we were JUST

> finding out she was killed

> (didn't even know how or the details yet), they were

> telling the " hows " and

> about her being put in a garbage bag for days, and

> being wrapped up in a rug,

> etc... things we hadn't even been told. All we got

> was a phone call from a

> cop who said she was found dead (after been missing

> a few days), and that

> someone would be contacting us. He was planning to

> come to my parent's house to

> share more, but the news beat him to everything

> else.

>

> It is a great idea, though, and I wish I could do

> it. If I had more " before "

> pictures of myself, I'd make a perfect case of how

> sick these have made me.

>

> Brig

> PS: I'm sorry to make my posts so long... It's like

> sometimes I start

> venting, and it feels good, and my fingers fly.

> There's no one in my life who I can

> talk to. My husband doesn't talk to me, and he's

> about the only person I

> ever see aside from my parents.

>

>

>

>

__________________________________________________