Guest guest Posted December 30, 2008 Report Share Posted December 30, 2008 This was my first Christmas NC from Nada. I have been NC since Mother's Day. As I look back at all of the years of stress, confusion, guilt, shame, and anger that I have felt during all of the holidays, birthdays and other life events, I am so relieved to know that I did it! I have survived without her. I have no guilt, no anger, and I feel nothing for her. I thought maybe that I would miss her, but I don't. I feel like my soul has been cleansed. I am truly happy, peaceful, and thankful for what I have and where I am emotionally now. My true friends and family still do not quite fully understand why I did what I did. But they can all see how happy I am and they are supportive of my decision. I am also so thankful for my sister and brother, (who are still LC with Nada), who have helped by maintaining this boundary I have with her. It took me 40 years to make this decision, which included many years of therapy, self-help books, writing in journals/ workbooks, antidepressants, and mourning the loss of the mother I never really had by completing all the stages the Kübler-Ross grief cycle (see below). 1. Shock stage: Initial paralysis at hearing the bad news. 2. Denial stage: Trying to avoid the inevitable. 3. Anger stage: Frustrated outpouring of bottled-up emotion. 4. Bargaining stage: Seeking in vain for a way out. 5. Depression stage: Final realization of the inevitable. 6. Testing stage: Seeking realistic solutions. 7. Acceptance stage: Finally finding the way forward. I still journal, read self help-books, and go to therapy sessions when I need it. I push forward each day on my life journey, knowing that it is on my own terms. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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