Re: I'm putting off 'getting ready' and finding myself here instead...

[Guest guest]

Hope things went okay and that you were able to set any boundaries

you needed.

kt

>

> It's a game of " Guess Who's Coming to Dinner " ...

>

> I think she's behaving sanely at the moment but that doesn't

> mean " she'll hold " ...

>

> Thankfully I scheduled a therapy appt yesterday morning and have

one

> right after Nada leaves town... with my therapist's support I'm

> learning to " shore up the dam " of the emotional breaks... but it

sure

> is irritating to have to do that.

>

> When my therapist first realized " what was going one " and,

> eventually, determined that Nada had the " emotional maturity " of a

> 12YO, I heard the " clinking " noise of realization. I just don't

feel

> like being in hyper-alert today... but, alas, I have 30-40 people

> expecting us to show up so I guess I really don't have a choice.

>

> I'll find a happy place to go to in my head, always do, but

still...

> I am left wondering who she'll devour today (and will it be me and

> mine or someone else?)

>

> Seeking peace in any form I can find it.

>

> Lynnette

>

[Guest guest]

I went. We ate. My cousins and I had a good time. Nada took " one

too many " pain pills so she was " outta it " which she's

still " milking " today. I never know if she's being real or what...

makes me very sad. I'd like to believe that what she says is true and

real and authentic but I don't know if she really knows what that

means.

I feel very, very guilty being sad.

Lynnette

> > >

> > > It's a game of " Guess Who's Coming to Dinner " ...

> > >

> > > I think she's behaving sanely at the moment but that doesn't

> > > mean " she'll hold " ...

> > >

> > > Thankfully I scheduled a therapy appt yesterday morning and have

> > one

> > > right after Nada leaves town... with my therapist's support I'm

> > > learning to " shore up the dam " of the emotional breaks... but it

> > sure

> > > is irritating to have to do that.

> > >

> > > When my therapist first realized " what was going one " and,

> > > eventually, determined that Nada had the " emotional maturity "

of a

> > > 12YO, I heard the " clinking " noise of realization. I just don't

> > feel

> > > like being in hyper-alert today... but, alas, I have 30-40

people

> > > expecting us to show up so I guess I really don't have a choice.

> > >

> > > I'll find a happy place to go to in my head, always do, but

> > still...

> > > I am left wondering who she'll devour today (and will it be me

and

> > > mine or someone else?)

> > >

> > > Seeking peace in any form I can find it.

> > >

> > > Lynnette

> > >

> >

> >

> >

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

>

>

> I feel very, very guilty being sad.

>

What's wrong with feeling sad?

[Guest guest]

It's an old tape playing...

If I feel " sad " for something to do with me, obviously I'm NOT

tending to her needs enough because 1) I wouldn't feel sad if I

wasn't feeling guilty about neglecting her and 2) Sad is taking

energy away from HER to tend to ME.

I know... I know... that's why I'm still seeing the therapist.

LYnnette

> >

> >

> > I feel very, very guilty being sad.

> >

>

>

> What's wrong with feeling sad?

>