I come here instead of going home

[Guest guest]

Hi All, While much of the U.S. is with their families, I'm hanging out here

catching up with messages from you other KOs. I haven't been around much

lately, not enough time to read the group, but I find myself here on

holidays - Mother's Day, Father's Day Etc. I guess that means you all are my

family.

I have good news to report from this Thanksgiving. I sent my grandmother a

card via my dad. I haven't talked to dad in almost a year, we had a falling

out last christmas when I told him I didn't want to see that specail BPD my

mother that day, and I wanted to reinitiate some kind of contact with him.

So, the card worked on both family members who I want to have a relationship

with. I'm hoping for low maintenence LC with both my dad and grandma.

Anyway, my dad responded with just a short e-mail saying he got the card,

passed it on and he loves me. That's all I wanted. I'm glad he didn't call.

My grandmother and I spoke on Thanksgiving and even though I expected her to

be mad at me for being out of touch, she wasn't she was just very loving. My

grandmother is my dad's mother who half way raised me, and I love her though

I'm angry with her and him for not protecting me from the BPD.

So, I got my Thanksgiving wishes. No contact with mum, and LC with dad and

grandma. Wish me luck in continuing this into the future. Now my wish is

that my dad will read one of the books about BPD. I know I know, I shouldn't

wish for this, because it isn't likely to work out for me, but it's what I

wish for. Having him read Understanding the Borderline Mother is what I want

for Christmas. Love, Girlscout

[Guest guest]

I'm so glad you had a good Thanksgiving that was peacful and you got

to contact your grandma. It's always nice when things go smoothly.

I too feel like I need support around the holidays. I steered clear

of nada all yesterday--very proud of myself--but it was hard. The

old guilt. I felt bad because I didn't get to see or talk to my

grandpa but she is always part of that package, hard to get him

alone. Didn't want yet another beating from nada for Thanksgiving so

I chose peace. over everyone/everything.

As far as your dad coming around, that is a tough one. All of our

situations are different, but I really feel like there are very few

people that will really see the nadas for what they are. If my

father even read the book (which he wouldn't) he would *still* be in

denial. I've given up all hope that he'll ever see her for what she

is. She is part of the package with him, too, so I won't have a

relationship with him. I'd be fine having one that had nothing to do

with her, but he won't allow that. He believes the lies that come

from her mouth all the time and has flat out told me they are a

package deal. Can you hear the hoover going loud and clear??

I hate to say it, and certainly I don't know your family, but I think

that is an awfully high hope you have of your father reading the book

*and* seeing her in the book. I hope your wish comes true and one

day he does, I really really do.

Good job on getting through the holiday and having a positive

experience.

>

> Hi All, While much of the U.S. is with their families, I'm hanging

out here

> catching up with messages from you other KOs. I haven't been around

much

> lately, not enough time to read the group, but I find myself here on

> holidays - Mother's Day, Father's Day Etc. I guess that means you

all are my

> family.

>

> I have good news to report from this Thanksgiving. I sent my

grandmother a

> card via my dad. I haven't talked to dad in almost a year, we had a

falling

> out last christmas when I told him I didn't want to see that

specail BPD my

> mother that day, and I wanted to reinitiate some kind of contact

with him.

> So, the card worked on both family members who I want to have a

relationship

> with. I'm hoping for low maintenence LC with both my dad and

grandma.

> Anyway, my dad responded with just a short e-mail saying he got the

card,

> passed it on and he loves me. That's all I wanted. I'm glad he

didn't call.

> My grandmother and I spoke on Thanksgiving and even though I

expected her to

> be mad at me for being out of touch, she wasn't she was just very

loving. My

> grandmother is my dad's mother who half way raised me, and I love

her though

> I'm angry with her and him for not protecting me from the BPD.

>

> So, I got my Thanksgiving wishes. No contact with mum, and LC with

dad and

> grandma. Wish me luck in continuing this into the future. Now my

wish is

> that my dad will read one of the books about BPD. I know I know, I

shouldn't

> wish for this, because it isn't likely to work out for me, but it's

what I

> wish for. Having him read Understanding the Borderline Mother is

what I want

> for Christmas. Love, Girlscout

>

>

>