Re: the crimes are just swept under the rug..

[Guest guest]

I was trying to say in this post- what we all say and feel!

Our parents have done unthinkable crimes to us- and they are just

swept under the rug- NO more! It is not about confronting them-

because they don't get it, nor do they want too. It is about us

getting it.

We live each day feeling the residual effects of those crimes- in

our physical, emotional, spiritual and yes sexually pieces of us. I

just pray that 2009 brings moments of healing to ALL OF US!! We all

need to say and know these were crimes against our hearts- and our

capitors were WRONG! We will now be able to give ourselves the love.

peace and kindness we so deserve.

Malinda

>

> My uncle who is nada's younger brother is in for the holidays.

> I love seeing him and spending time with him- a good man.

>

> We were sitting around chatting yesterday- and he brought up how

his

> childhood has greatly effected him. How nada and his parents- never

> hugged them, or told them they were good enough. He said he has a

> great fear of being abandoned by those he loves- especially his

> partner.

>

> My nada said- she did too and that she feared her whole childhood

her

> mother would leave her with her father. She talked about hiding her

> pregnant mother in a closet- while her alcholic father was looking

> for the both of them to beat them. I know nada's scars are deep.

>

> My uncle did say though- we need to go beyond our childhood and

take

> care of ourselves, and heal. He also said he can rage- not at

people

> he cares for- but stranges if they piss him off- and he needs to

stop

> that. Of course nada- said she can do that to anyone.

>

> She went back to the abandoment issue- I brought up that game she

use

> to play with me when I was about 5. Waiting in my bed- sheets over

> her mouth- and only her eyes showing. She would change her voice

tell

> me she wasn't my mother- and that she killed my mother. I told I

> remember when I would start to cry- because it scared me, she would

> laugh at me. She started laughing again- and said she just thought

it

> was funny to scare me.

>

> My uncle was dumbfounded and said- why did you do that to her?

> How could you think that was funny- you were terrorizing her. Nada

> got a little defensive and then said she always knew I loved her-

> Subject dropped.

>

> We are like Holocaust survivors- done deal- over and done with.

Even

> when they are faced with their crimes against their children- there

> is nothing....

>

> It just hurts- but this is the way it is. That is why this board is

SO

> important- our voices are not silenced!!

>

> Malinda

>