Post Christmas melt-down

[Guest guest]

The drama continues. For the first time ever I spent Christmas away

from my FO. I told nada weeks before so that she would be aware and

plan accordingly. Turns out nada did not tell my bada and other

brother so they turned up with gifts and were surprised and

supposedly disappointed that I wasn't there.

I screened nada's call on Christmas day b/c I knew she'd be on a

guilt tripping rant that I wasn't there, and I wanted to avoid the

confrontation so that I could ENJOY my Christmas. I phoned her the

next day to wish her a Merry Christmas and whoa... did she rage. She

went into hysterics, bawling, guilt tripping, waif mode... etc.

NUTS! I calmly explained why I didn't go and she described how

ruined Christmas was, and how they all " sat down and talked about

it. " She accused me of being flaky like my estranged father's family

is. She accused me of " Drifting away from the family. " I'm 30 by the

way. She accused me of seeing her only once in 6 months, in reality

it's more like a dozen or more times I have seen her in 6 months. On

and on the rant... I stated I wouldn't apologize, and that I didn't

feel guilty, and that it's perfectly normal for someone my age to

spend Christmas away from the FO, especially considering my

brothers' constant, rude behaviour. Finally I got off the phone with

her.

Then a few minutes later my bada calls, I am virtually NC with him.

More drama. He apologized and begged forgiveness practically crying

for his actions. (A long story, but he's always been abusive,

untrustworthy, trickster, user, etc. classic narcisisst.) I told him

that his apology is too little too late, and there's nothing he can

do to fix it so forget about it.

Then a few minutes later my other brother calls. More drama, he also

begs forgiveness, cries, and apologizes for his crappy behaviour. I

was honest and truthful (not mean.) and told them that they need to

grow up and i'm finished as the bad behaviour to me and nada is

unacceptable. I also stated that i've heard hollow, unfulfilled

promises and apologies before... and that i'm not buying it. He

asked if he and I could repair the relationship and that he'd prove

that he could be nice to me. I was LC with him before this. I think

I could manage a LC still but no more Christmas' or " family get

togethers " for hellfire. It's too much.

Am I crazy? Is it not perfectly normal for someone my age to spend a

Christmas away from the FO? Even though my brothers will never have

families of their own I probably will. How do you all handle your

nada's clinging, obsessive, rediculous expectations and guilt trips?

I feel very detached and happy about my decisions but I can see this

drama is going to continue and I need to find a quick efficient way

to put a stop to it. I am also certain that nada's distortion

campaign will be in full swing. Any input would be appreciated.