For Miriam ...

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I am going to share this with our wonderful Saline Support Group, Miriam ... I believe you will find some excellent support there.---------- Forwarded message ----------

From: MIRIAM NOVAK <miriamnovak@...>Date: Nov 9, 2006 3:55 PMSubject: SUPPORT

ilena@...Hi, I am fifty two years old. I had my first saline breast implants 3 years ago. I was dissappointed with the first one. they were too small, they were not much diffeerent than before i had the procedure. I then paid for a second one, I went from 250cc to 350cc,s. they seemed huge. they were clear up to my collar bone. I asked the nurse of my doctor a month down the road if the swelling would go down. She said because of it being my second procedure the swelling would not go down much. And then said you said you wanted them bigger, you should be careful of what you ask for.

I was so self conscious and embarassed trying to hide myself. At four months post the surgery i went to another doctor and said I felt I was too big and wanted to be not so big. I asked if they are still swollen from surgery. He said they shouldn't be. He wanted to bring me to 275cc's from a 350cc

implant. I made a point of saying i did not want to be too small and would like to go to 300cc's. He said no 275 or he will not do it. Well after 6 months they are too small and I have been having for the past 2 years since that surgery, major depression, anxiety,anger, stressed badly, and now I am also having alot of tension in my neck and jaw area. In fact my jaws now at times seem to lock up on me when i get tense or upset, which is quite often. I feel that I have changed so much, my personality. I am always depressed, angry, tired to the point of nautious. I feel my health has gone down so much in the past 2 years since i had this done and cannot say if it is the implants or the dissappointment of the outcome of the implants. I feel in the past 2 years I have aged probably at least 10 years. I don't know if it is life's circumstances or if it is related to the actual implants after reading a couple of

these stories of other women's experiences. I am now at a very low point and have been on and off contemplating suicide for a year now. I feel no one can help me or understand me I have become more self conscious of my appearance than ever and hate the thought of being in public at all. I am but I hate every minute of it. I used to be a very loving, caring, fun, wholsome, carefree person with alot of energy. I am not that any more. And it bothers me tht I cannot get myself back.

I would love to hear from you if you have any word of advice to me if I have just gone crazy beyond the point of no return or if there is help for me out there. I do not want to take any medication because my body has always been sooo sensitive. I do want to get better and be happy again but i cannot make it happen. I am biding time with absolutley no interest in life. I have grand daughter that i want to go see, but I do not

really do anything about making that happen because a big part of me does not want to see her like this because I am always so down. Looking forward to hearing from you soon, hopfuly!

Miriam