Re: Help me decode your messages : )

[Guest guest]

-Here is a list of the abbreviations:

Section 8 of the WTO Guidelines: ABBREVIATIONS

Over the years the WTO groups have accumulated a list of abbreviations

and their own vernacular. Words commonly used include the following.

These are from the Guidelines which are posted to all the WelcomeToOz

lists at the beginning of each month.

BP: person in your life who has BPD or whom YOU THINK has BPD traits.

BPD: Borderline Personality Disorder.

BPSO: BP Significant Other. XBPSO=Ex BPSO (this has many variations).

DBT: Dialectic Behavioral Therapy, a cognitive-behavioral therapy

that has been successful in the treatment of BPD. Also

see 'Therapies'

at www.BPDCentral.com website.

DEAR: Communication technique used to set limits and ask for things.

See at www.BPDCentral.com (press 'Library').

Defense Mechanisms: projection, denial, splitting, and rationalization.

Distortion campaign: a deliberate attempt by someone to smear your

name because they have split you as all bad. They feel justified

and

may tell lies or truly believe their distortions. May or may not

involve the law.

DSM-IV: Diagnostic and Statistical Manual, edition 4, published by the

American Psychiatric Association. Used for diagnostic and insurance

purposes.

Fada: Used by some of the NonBP adult children of BPDs on the Oasis

lists to refer to their BP father who was not-a-father in the true

sense of the word.

Fleas: Unhealthy behavioral reactions learned while living with a BP.

FOG: Fear, Obligation and Guilt, which make you susceptible to

emotional blackmail.

FOO: Family Of Origin (includes one's original mother, father, and

other children).

HF: High functioning.

Hoovered: after the vacuum cleaner, to be sucked back into the

relationship for another ride on the BPD rollercoaster.

Intermittent reinforcement: when good outcomes happen on an

unpredictable schedule, thereby reinforcing (ie, rewarding)

behavior.

Examples: when the BP sometimes acts 'normal', when you sometimes

don't observe limits (this is rewarding to the BP).

KO: Kid Of [a BP].

L & L: The booklet titled " Love and Loathing " .

Lasagna therapy: A type of therapy whereby lasagna is dumped over the

head of a BP who constantly criticizes the way one eats--so much so

one won't eat with the family anymore. Salad dumping in the lap is

an

adjunct part of this therapy. Currently under double-blind test

trials

at several prestigious universities. <wink>

LF: Low functioning.

Light Bulb Effect: the realization that you're not crazy and BPD may

explain the other person's behavior.

LOL: Laughing Out Loud.

Mirroring: Not absorbing the BP's projections and reflecting them back

to the BP.

Nada: Used by some of the NonBP adult offspring of BPDs on the 'Oasis'

lists to refer to their BP mother who was not-a-mother in the true

sense of the word.

NPD: Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

NonBP: Person who is affected by someone else's BPD -- eg, you and

your family.

OCD: Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.

Oz: the " Twilight Zone " feeling of not knowing what is real because of

the BP's distortions.

PAS: Parental Alienation Syndrome: When a parent deliberately and

repeatedly makes the other parent the " bad guy " and the child

believes

the accusations (such as " Daddy doesn't love you. " ) A form of child

abuse.

Projection: When a person denies certain feelings by attributing them

to someone else.

PUVAS and DEAR: Communication techniques you can download at the

www.BPDCentral.com library. DEAR is about setting personal limits

and

PUVAS is about ONE of the communication techniques you can use to

communicate with BPs. Other techniques in SWOE are defusing and

walking away.

Rationalization: Good-sounding reasons but not necessarily truthful.

ROFL: Rolling on the floor laughing.

SO: Significant Other.

Splitting: Black and white thinking, practiced by both Nons and BPs.

Sponging: Absorbing the BP's projections and bad feelings. (See

" mirroring " )

STB-ex: Soon-to-be ex [husband, wife, or SO]

SWOE: The book " Stop Walking on Eggshells. "

SWOEW: The workbook to SWOE.

Trigger: not a horse, but something that takes a person back to an

earlier trauma. They respond to the current situation and also

relive

the past one. For example, a BP's criticism about your clothes

triggers you because your father did the same thing.

UBM: Book titled " Understanding The Borderline Mother " by Ann

Lawson.

-- In WTOAdultChildren1 , " jillelizabethmoore "

wrote:

>

> This is my first time at this site. I recently determined that my

> mother is a narcissistic mother. I'm 54 years old and haven't spoken

> to either of my parents in ~4 years. The cruelty and sickness was

> beyond my comprehension and I just couldn't take it anymore. I had to

> cut off all contact with them for my own sanity.

>

> Anyways, I'm just loving reading your blogs but I'm confused about

> some of your acronyms. Can someone help me decipher these shortcuts?

> Thanks!

>