the crimes are just swept under the rug..

[Guest guest]

My uncle who is nada's younger brother is in for the holidays.

I love seeing him and spending time with him- a good man.

We were sitting around chatting yesterday- and he brought up how his

childhood has greatly effected him. How nada and his parents- never

hugged them, or told them they were good enough. He said he has a

great fear of being abandoned by those he loves- especially his

partner.

My nada said- she did too and that she feared her whole childhood her

mother would leave her with her father. She talked about hiding her

pregnant mother in a closet- while her alcholic father was looking

for the both of them to beat them. I know nada's scars are deep.

My uncle did say though- we need to go beyond our childhood and take

care of ourselves, and heal. He also said he can rage- not at people

he cares for- but stranges if they piss him off- and he needs to stop

that. Of course nada- said she can do that to anyone.

She went back to the abandoment issue- I brought up that game she use

to play with me when I was about 5. Waiting in my bed- sheets over

her mouth- and only her eyes showing. She would change her voice tell

me she wasn't my mother- and that she killed my mother. I told I

remember when I would start to cry- because it scared me, she would

laugh at me. She started laughing again- and said she just thought it

was funny to scare me.

My uncle was dumbfounded and said- why did you do that to her?

How could you think that was funny- you were terrorizing her. Nada

got a little defensive and then said she always knew I loved her-

Subject dropped.

We are like Holocaust survivors- done deal- over and done with. Even

when they are faced with their crimes against their children- there

is nothing....

It just hurts- but this is the way it is. That is why this board is SO

important- our voices are not silenced!!

Malinda