Re: Some ER Definitions.....humor

[Guest guest]

Some others:

CTD=circling the drain. A patient who's going to die no matter what you do.

DRT: Dead Right There. The patient who's in livor mortis or even rigor

mortis when you arrive.

TTD: Trying to Die. The patient who will code in a minute no matter what

you do. Similar to the CTD patient.

LOLNAD: Little old lady, no apparent distress. Those little old ladies who

can't tell you anything about their situations except that they want to go to

the hospital.

LOLFRD: Little old lady, fell right down. A little old lady who has fallen

but is a LOLNAD.

PIDS: A patient presenting with the Pelvic Inflammatory Disease Shuffle, a

waddling, hands on pelvic area, shuffling gait. This patient only presents

between the hours of 0001 and 0400 and relates a history of distress for the

last 10 days to two weeks. When asked why she has not sought medical help

prior to this time she will always answer (1) don't have transportation, (2)

don't have cab fare (3) boyfriend won't help, (4) you people diss me, (5) i

think I'm pregnant.

PSS: Positive Samsonite Sign. Your patient has her/his suitcase packed and

usually is sitting on it on the front porch. Response to question, " Why did

you call the ambulance " is always, " I don't have any way to get to the

hospital. " When asked, why did you wait until 0200 to call, it's always,

" yall don't want to help us poor folks. " Reason is out of the question.

BWS: Beached Whale Syndrome: Any patient who weighs more than 300 pounds.

Usually found above the first floor of any building or in a mobile home where

access is diminished by small hallways with 90 degree turns and little steps

up to the habitat. Usually in acute distress and needing immediate transport.

Awaiting flames, I am,

Your obedient servant,

Gene Gandy, LP, JD