so angry

[Guest guest]

Yesterday I decided I would allow my nada a three minute phone conversation

with my five year old and three year old. We are at very low contact with

her right now, not for her lack of trying. She lives five hours away, but

constantly calls, sends emails, packages, and letters. At Thanksgiving she

called my phone, my husbands phone, and then started repeatedly calling my

inlaws landline until she got hold of us. I was so embarrassed!

I didn't want that to happen again and ruin Christmas, so mid morning when

we were sitting in the car waiting for my husband to go to his parents home,

I called her and let her talk to him for a minute. The phone conversation

was full of her telling them she was coming to see them and bring them gifts

(I have never consented to this, and will not) and that the kids have toys

at her house that 'miss' them. Way to try to put a guilt trip on a couple of

little kids, nada.

Anyway, I was very annoyed but glad to have it over with, knowing I could go

on with the rest of our relaxing Christmas day without her stalking behavior

hanging over my head. Then i noticed I had a voicemail from my dad. He and

nada have been divorced for over 13 years. He has no contact with her, both

of thier kids are grown and he lives in another town. She always says

horrible things about him, paints him black, simataniously says how horrible

he is and gets jealous if we do anything with him, and at the same time

grills my brother and I about every detail about him if she thinks we have

had contact with him We are supposed to be on HER SIDE, you see. I vividly

remember after thier divroce, I was 15 and my brother was 12-13, and she sat

us down and told us that he cheated on her and did xyz and was a horrible

person. I told her she shouldn't be telling us these kinds of things,

especially not my young brother and she slapped me and yelled at me and from

that point on I started to be painted black too. Any time I stood up to her

she would insult me telling me I was 'just like your FATHER', which in her

mind is the worst insult.

Anyway. I had a voicemail from my dad saying to call him. I called and told

him merry christmas, and he told me that nada had called him feigning

concern about me, and told him that she thought that I WAS CRAZY. She used

those exact words.

I was livid. I still am. Apparently the smear campaign has begun. I am going

no contact immediatly. In a day or two when I calm down I will probably send

her an email requesting no future contact until a time when I feel willing

to communicate again. I was in tears christmas morning, but now I am jsut

really angry. I am not going to play her games. She doesn't get to spread

lies about me and then see my kids. If she is saying those kinds of things

to my own father, who knows what she is saying to other people

Things have gone steadily downhill with her since my third child was born,

and now I just plain fed up. I don't have time or energy for this kind of

stress in my life.

--