How Healthy Are Your Boundaries?

[Guest guest]

My therapist gave me this...

Place a 1 next to your answer to each of the following questions :

T___ F___ I often feel guilty about not doing enough for my parents or

my spouse.

T___ F___ I feel responsible for making other people happy - my

parents, my spouse, my children.

T___ F___ I often share personal information with other people that is

none of their business.

T___ F___ I feel uncomfortable making my own decisions in life.

T___ F___ I often go along with the plans of others, even when I want

to do something else.

T___ F___ I often feel I must explain or defend the actions of my

parents or my spouse to other people.

T___ F___ My parents discouraged me from moving away from home.

T___ F___ I do a lot of work for other people, but I have to ask

anyone to do a favor for me.

T___ F___ I wish I didn't have the responsibilities of an adult.

Place a 2 next to your answer to each of the following questions:

T___ F___ When people criticize or insult me, I accept what they say

as true and feel bad about myself.

T___ F___ I often think about mistakes I've made and feel bad about

myself.

T___ F___ I feel afraid of God.

T___ F___ My parents frequently shared intimate secrets with me.

T___ F___ I was the favorite child of one of my parents.

T___ F___ My parents did not want me to date or marry.

T___ F___ One of my parents seemed overly interested in my sexulaity

and my body.

Place a 3 next to your answer to each of the following questions:

T___ F___ One of my parents preferred my company to that of his or

her spouse.

T___ F___ I was physically, sexually, verbally or emotionally abused

as a child.

T___ F___ I have been in two or more relationships where I have been

physically abused, sexually abused, or made to feel like " a nothing. "

Add up the number in the " T " column.

If you scored from 0 to 5, you probably have fairly secure emotional

and spiritual boundaries.

If you scored from 6 to 9, you probably are experiencing a significant

distortion in your emotional and spiritual boundaries; you should work

on clarifying those boundaries and creating clearer safety zones in

your relationships.

If you scored 10 or more, there is a strong likelihood that you have a

deeply rooted distortion in your emotional and spiritual boundaries.

We would encourage you to seek counseling for your emotional and

spiritual issues and for help and insight in strengthening the

boundaries in your inner self and your relationships.

***I scored a 20****