Re: New to the group - Nada just cut me off

[Guest guest]

yeah, that IS bizarre timing...

welcome!

bink

>

> Hello, I'm really glad to have found this group.

>

> Over the summer I got back in touch with my father, who left 24 yrs

> ago when I was 8yrs. My nada always told my sister and I that if we

> ever contacted my dad she would disown us. She told us horrible

> things about him and said he never paid child support. I've gotten

> to know my Dad, and we have a whole lot in common. He did pay child

> support and I forgive him for leaving. I love him and feel grateful

> to have him in my life now. I'd been avoiding my nada since talking

> to my dad b/c I was scared to tell her about finding him.

>

> This week I finally told my nada about wanting my dad in my life

> (over the phone) and she hung up on me. The next day while I was at

> my therepy apt (i've been in therepy for 4 yrs for anxiety) my

> therepist made the comment about my mother having borderline. I'd

> never heard of it. I've done a lot of research in the past few days,

> bought Stop Walking on Eggshells and realize my mom has this

> disorder. I am FREE! Not only am I free b/c she has decided to cut me

> off, but I am TRUELY free b/c I can no longer hate her, I feel so

> sorry for her and can let go of the hope for our relationship. I

> didn't know it was possible to feel this happy!

>

> Two days after my phone call with her, I received a letter in the

> mail, she is demanding that I pay her back $15,000 for money she

> spend on my college. She says she needs it for repairs on her house,

> I know this is a lie. She signed it with her first name, not " Mom " .

>

> In the past this would have torn me apart, now I see it as a

> desperate act.

>

> A little more about me, I'm happily married and have 2 small children

> and my therepy has helped me a great deal in getting to the mental

> place I am today.

>

> I feel like it's tragic that I only found out about BPD the day after

> my mother cut me out of her life. I've spend my entire life feeling

> terrible about myself b/c I wasn't able to do anything to make her

> love me. I wonder how it could've changed my relationship with her

> had I known?

>

> Again, I'm happy to be on this board and looking forward to sharing

> experiences.

> Regina

>