Detach With Love

[Guest guest]

In my SWOE workbook, there's a chapter called 'detach with love'.  An exercise

rather.  I realized I'm not doing that.  I'm furious ... angry ... hurt and

depressed. 

 

Today nada sent a Xmas card - another completely delusional letter inside it

behaving as if nothing bad has ever happened.  She acts as if life is fine, and

that we're getting along like normal.  I don't think she gets it - that I'm

serious this time about not being reeled back in and have my head bitten off. 

And the fact that she's ignoring everything or anything I've said over the past

year and my email just leave me sitting here in a state of disbelief and

self-loathing.  I don't understand why I feel this way.

 

Why am I so angry with myself and hurt and feeling like a pile of debris?  I

know I'm hurt she doesn't even acknowledge the fact that she's been a complete

b*tch.  An unfeeling, abusive, evil person.  This creature is the womb I rented

to get to this earth - and apparently nothing more.  She has made it a point to

tell me since I was 19 or so that when I was 6 weeks old she knew having me was

a wasted effort - an effort to reel in my father and make him a family man,

force him to settle down.  Once that failed it was like 'sh*t, well, may as well

just raise the thing.'

 

Detach with love my ass ... sorry for the cussing.