Re: My Journals and therapies

[Guest guest]

Wow Joanne!

That is amazing. You should write a book! About all your stuff you¹ve

shared here.

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> When I first began therapy a friend at the 12 steps groups advised me to get

> hold of a few A4 writing pads. I did, and on the front of each one I wrote a

> title, health, spiritual life, psychological health, finance, career, leisure,

> relationships and so on

>  

> with each journal I spent a few days just brain storming what was going on in

> my life in regards to each subject. I found my health was far worse than I

> thought and that my spiritual life was almost none existant. I realsised my

> psychological health was not doing so well either, but that I also did not

> want to talk about that, and frankly my finances were in a mess, I had no

> career, leisure was a word that did not exist in my life, and relationships

> well, need I say more

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> I carried on scribling, getting ever so woked up in the process, but as the

> weeks went by I began to see patterns, and relationships between different

> areas, and the things most effecting me began to stand out

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> I realsied that I was far more hurt about my family situations than I

> beleived, but I also noticed I did not feel this pain, not in my heart anyway.

> I noticed that I was overweight, and very sad about that too, but worse still,

> this is when I really realised I could not control my eating and that all my

> pains, bowel problems, PMS, nervousness and so on was all related to the

> feelings I did not feel and the eating I could not stop

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> What a sorry sorry picture was emerging and the more I wrote the moe I could

> see all the time and enrgy I was spending on things that got me down. But

> could I stop NO, stopping worrying, engaging in all this stuff, reacting my

> pain, obsessing about the past and so on, I could not stop, I really could not

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> When I went back to see my sponsor ahe asked me to highlight the most

> significant things in each journal

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> I found that with my health it was the pain, my problems walking, my trouble

> eating, my anxiety, my gut trouble etc was what bothered me most

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> With my spiritual life it was the loneliness, my feelings of being abandoned

> by God, my lack of spiritual company, and my need for a church that stood out.

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> With money, it was not having enough even to pay the bills, knowing I could

> not work because of my health, my fear of debt, and so on.

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> And there was obviously much more going on, but I wil move on to what I did

> next

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> I found a full page in each journal and I devided it into 4

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> In the first column I wrote what was going on, in the second how this made me

> feel and how it affected my daily life, in the next column I wrote, what it

> would be like if I concured this problem and in the last column I wrote what

> things I could do to achieve the goals I wanted

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> Obviously all this took a long time to sort out, but by writing it all down in

> a systematic way helped me see what really was important and it also helped me

> work out ways to get my life to a better place

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> As the months went by I shared this stuff with my sponsor and my therapist and

> little by little I began to see that the dreadful life I had been living for

> so many years actually began to change

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> I began to change

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> By writing this stuff down and becoming very focused on my needs I started to

> loose interest in other peoples hog wash

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> I still had a lot of pain and a lot of issues to work through, and I did do,

> at my 12 Step meetings and so on. But now instead of spending hours upon

> hours, thinking and rethinking about all the terrile things going on around

> me, and all the terrible things that might come, I now spent far far more time

> thinking about the good things I could incorporate into my life and I began to

> see clearly who and what I wanted to do much much more with

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> For instance, all this scribbling made me realise just how much stress and

> sadness I had brought to my husband, which actually got me down for a while,

> but then I saw how lucky I was to have such a loyal man taking care of me and

> I began to think moe and more how now I was getting well I could have more

> positive experiences with him

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> I also began to realise just how awfully my mother and sister treated me. This

> I really did need therapy for, but as I realsied it, and went through all the

> trauma associated with this, I also became much stronger and I began to

> realise not only did I not have to put up with them, I began to see I actually

> would not put up with them, and eventually (took a long time mind you) I

> actually did stop putting up with them and from then forth, I really began to

> get more well

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> I stopped needing them to love me. This is hard to explain, but once I got rid

> of that need, I then found I could start rewriting my past

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> Now if I stat talking about all that I will be here all night but I think the

> point i am trying to make is although very intelligent, and also a very

> capable person, there is no way I could have ever sorted myself out without

> the support of the 12 Step groups, my therapist, and now more commonly my

> Priest and church friends

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> Day by day I work on my 'Healing my child within' stuff and I also work on my

> addiction problems, my health stuff, my faith stuff, and all the things I

> first identified when I was writng my journals

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> Anyway I have to go out now but I am hoping for those that feel they need

> support regarding their Fibro stuff, I am hoping these shares help you

> determine what steps might be best for you to take, regading getting yourself

> well

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> I know, not think, I know because of all the stuff I have had to do that this

> illness is physical, emotional, psychological and spiritual, and that by

> nuturing all of these four areas of my life, is how I have gotten so well

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> God bless you all

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> All my love

>  

> Joanne

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