CLEAN LAFFS - The Guy Test - Thursday, 08/03/2000

[Guest guest]

After enlisting in the 82nd Airborne Division, I eagerly

asked my Recruiter what I could expect from jump school.

" Well, " he said, " it's three weeks long. "

" What else, " I asked.

" The first week they separate the men from the boys, " he said.

" The second week, they separate the men from the fools. "

" And the third week? " I asked.

" The third week, the fools jump. "

Seems this bootlegger came to town carrying a jug of

moonshine in one hand and a shotgun in the other. He

stopped a man on the street, saying to him: " Here, friend,

take a drink outta my jug. "

The man protested, saying he never drank.

Unimpressed, the bootlegger leveled his shotgun at the

stranger and commanded: " Drink! "

The stranger drank, shuddered, shivered and coughed.

" God! That's awful stuff! "

" Ain't it, though? " replied the bootlegger. " Now here, you

hold the gun on me while I take a swig. "

Tell was not only a great patriot and a great archer,

he was also a great cook.

One day, after he had prepared a new dish for his friends,

he said, " I think there is one or more spices missing. What

do you think? "

Their answer was, " Only thyme, Will Tell! "