Happy Holidays

[Guest guest]

Hi Ric,

So Bubba Claus will be visiting at my house.

Eunice

in good old Southern VA

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 12/14/01 8:58:41 PM Eastern Standard Time,

richere@... writes:

>

Gonna leave those pork rinds. They don't have any carbs.

Eunice

[Guest guest]

I regret to inform you that, effective immediately, I will no longer be

able to serve the Southern United States on Christmas Eve. Due to the

overwhelming current population of the earth, my contract was renegotiated

by North American Fairies and Elves Local 209.

I now serve only certain areas of Ohio, Illinois, Wisconsin and Michigan.

As part of the new and better contract, I also get longer breaks for milk

and cookies, so keep that in mind.

However, I'm certain that your children will be in good hands with your

local replacement who happens to be my third cousin, 'Bubba Claus'.

His side of the family is from the South Pole. He shares my goal of

delivering toys to all the good boys and girls; however, there are a few

differences between us.

Differences such as:

1. There is no danger of a Grinch stealing your presents from Bubba Claus.

He has a gun rack on his sleigh and a bumper sticker that reads: " These

toys insured by and Wesson. "

2. Instead of milk and cookies, Bubba Claus prefers that children leave a

Michelob and pork rinds (or a moon pie) on the fireplace. And Bubba doesn't

smoke a pipe. He dips a little snuff though, so please have an empty spit

can handy.

3. Bubba Claus' sleigh is pulled by floppy-eared, flyin' coon dogs instead

of reindeer. I made the mistake of loaning him a couple of my reindeer one

time, and Blitzen's head now overlooks Bubba's fireplace.

4. You won't hear " On Comet, on Cupid, on Donner and Blitzen " when Bubba

Claus arrives. Instead you'll hear, " On Earnhardt, on Wallace, on

and Labonte. On Rudd, on Jarrett, on Elliott and Petty. "

5. " Ho, ho, ho! " has been replaced by " Yee Haw! " And you also are likely to

hear Bubba's elves respond, " I her'd dat! "

6. As required by Southern highway laws, Bubba Claus' sleigh does have a

Yosemite Sam safety triangle on the back with the words " Back Off. " The

last I heard it also had other decorations on the sleigh back as well. One

is a Ford or Chevy logo with lights that race through the letters and the

other is a caricature of me (Santa Claus) going wee wee on the Tooth Fairy.

7. The usual Christmas movie classics such as " Miracle on 34th Street " and

" It's a Wonderful Life " will not be shown in your negotiated viewing area.

Instead, you'll see " Boss Hogg Saves Christmas " and Smokey and the Bandit

IV " featuring Burt Reynolds as Bubba Claus and dozens of state patrols cars

crashing into each other.

8. Bubba Claus doesn't wear a belt. If I were you, I'd make sure you, the

wife, and the kids turn the other way when he bends over to put presents

under the tree.

9. And finally, lovely Christmas songs such as " Rudolph the Red-Nosed

Reindeer " and Bing Crosby's " Santa Claus is Coming to Town " will no longer

be sung about me. This year songs about Bubba Claus will be played on all

AM radio stations in the South. Those song titles will be Mark Chesnutt's

" Bubba Claus Shot the Jukebox " and " Grandma Got Run'd Over by a Reindeer. "

Sincerely yours,

Santa Claus (member of North American Fairies and Elves Local 29)

^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^

Ric Ross and Beau, Delta, Savannah, Bubba and Timmy

(my Heart, my Soul, my Love, my Humor and my Comfort)

Blue Bayou Yorkshire Terriers

Hollywood, CA

mailto:richere@...

See my Yorkies at my " YorkieMania " web site;

http://www.homestead.com/My3Yorkies/YorkieManiaHome.html

Adopt a Yorkie Rescue;

http://go.to/yorkierescue

Yorkshire Terrier Rescue Alliance of Southern California

http://www.homestead.com/YTRA/index.html

Yorkshire Terrier Club of Los Angeles

http://YTCofLA.homestead.com/index.html

^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^

[Guest guest]

At 08:47 PM 12/14/2001 -0500, you wrote:

>Hi Ric,

>So Bubba Claus will be visiting at my house.

>

>Eunice

>in good old Southern VA

Eunice,

He sho' will ! ! !

Are you gonna leave some Moon Pies out for him?

^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^

Ric Ross and Beau, Delta, Savannah, Bubba and Timmy

(my Heart, my Soul, my Love, my Humor and my Comfort)

Blue Bayou Yorkshire Terriers

Hollywood, CA

mailto:richere@...

See my Yorkies at my " YorkieMania " web site;

http://www.homestead.com/My3Yorkies/YorkieManiaHome.html

Adopt a Yorkie Rescue;

http://go.to/yorkierescue

Yorkshire Terrier Rescue Alliance of Southern California

http://www.homestead.com/YTRA/index.html

Yorkshire Terrier Club of Los Angeles

http://YTCofLA.homestead.com/index.html

^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^

[Guest guest]

This was very funny especially since I live in the South. Thanks,

----- Original Message -----

> I regret to inform you that, effective immediately, I will no longer be

> able to serve the Southern United States on Christmas Eve. Due to the

> overwhelming current population of the earth, my contract was renegotiated

> by North American Fairies and Elves Local 209.