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Self Medicating?

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What is it with doctors who make self medicating sound like the sin of all

sins??

I have told my pain 'doctor' (I only ever see his PA, even though she tells me

she can't make any med changes without his approval, and he's never seen me but

once for two minutes!) over and over and pver that the dose I am on is not

working!!!

So they tell me well, we aren't really willing to raise it right now. So what

the f*** am I supposed to do but lay in bed every day in agony?? NO, because I

decide to take two pills instead of one, so I can at least get out of bed and

shower and do the dishes and lay back down, that makes me a criminal, it puts me

on the level of the scummiest drug addicts, right???

I am sorry for my frustration, but what do you guys do when your doctor refuses

to budge and you have the option of maying around shoving one pill every 8 hours

that might as well be candy, or taking two to barely function, or taking all 3

to actually be able to have fun for once in the last several months? (i.e. going

shopping, that requires a heftier dose of meds!)

Would they rather I go to the ER and get doped up with dilaudid every single

time I have to go out and run a few errends???

If I were 60+ years old, raising the dose wouldn't be an issue. So because I am

24, I am expected to just suffer through the pain and die from a heart attack

when my blood pressure sky rockets every time I have a flare-up?

I am so fed up and feeling extremely hopeless and helpless.

~*Kris

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