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In a message dated 2/10/99 3:49:44 PM Pacific Standard Time,

kimrh67@... writes:

> 12 years. Geez.

> My sympathies. Hey, I certainly also understand why someone would get

> sucked into AA I don't blame myself I'm a lot more angry than feeling

> like an idiot it just sucks that there are a lot of people in society

> that don't understand about cults and have been conned into believing

> AA propaganda

In the town where I used to live there is a judge who sucks in everybody he

can get his hands on. He's the judge, therefore he can legally sentence people

to AA. He practically walks on water in that town. While claiming anonymity,

he nevertheless is well known locally for being an AA member and big proponent

of the 12 steps. He's " saved " more people than the Baptist minister, in some

peoples' eyes.

Sometimes I think the whole country is run by steppers.

I'm tired.

Henders

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In a message dated 2/10/99 11:34:22 PM Central Standard Time,

Henders88@... writes:

<<

In the town where I used to live there is a judge who sucks in everybody he

can get his hands on. He's the judge, therefore he can legally sentence

people

to AA. He practically walks on water in that town. While claiming anonymity,

he nevertheless is well known locally for being an AA member and big

proponent

of the 12 steps. He's " saved " more people than the Baptist minister, in some

peoples' eyes.

Sometimes I think the whole country is run by steppers.>>>>

What are some good antidotes to cultthink? I think some of Ayn Rand's writing

is excellent (individual vs. collective, like in the novel " Anthem " ), although

ironically cultlike behavior has grown up around it in some quarters. Any

other ideas? What worked for you?

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<<Sometimes I think the whole country is run by steppers.>>

Once again... the only twelve steps I'm interested in are the ones leading out

the door.

-Apple

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I have read those things, and am quite aware of Rand and her propensity for

authoritarian guruism in her actual life. However, this has little to do with

the philosophy itself, which in fact is contradicted by this very sort of

behavior on several counts. The Ayn Rand Institute has continued this

curiously contradictory " cult of personality " that followed Rand. But that may

not be all bad, since people who have a tendency to fall into this sort of

trap may wind up in that group instead of something more harmful, like

scientology or some such. At any rate, it is important to separate principles

from personalities, and philosophy itself from philosophers. It makes no

difference if " The Virtue Of Selfishness " and other such works were written by

a Nazi Skinhead in a heroin stupor--they should be allowed to stand on their

own merits.

In a message dated 2/11/99 5:47:50 PM Central Standard Time,

PAULDIENER@... writes:

<< Pupship - You might want to read the memoirs of the two Brandens, iel

and Barbara. They were in the Ayn Rand cult in the 50s. It was a

political cult with a strong right-wing flavor, and featured some

non-normative sexual behaviors (many cults do). By the way, 'cult' is not

necessarily a dirty word. As sociologist of religion use the term, it

merely refers to a relatively small group of believers who are devoted to

principles which differ from those of the mainstream society. 'Cult' is

usually distinguished from 'sect'. In cults, social and economic

separation from the larger society is not complete, whereas in 'sects' it

is moreso. Examples of cults are performance cults (eg, focused upon

Grateful Dead, the Rocky Horror Picture Show, etc.), astrology cults, UFO

cults, 'medical' cults (eg, organized around many 'holistic healers', early

Oxford Groups, early AAl), and religious cults (New Thought groups, early

Christian Science, Transcendental Meditation). Sects involve a more

complete withdrawal from the larger society, a 'defensive' social

structure, frequently unique dress and even language, and various other

'adaptations'; the Amish are considered a Christian sect. Jim '

town was a sect, not a cult. So were the Mormons of early Utah.

Ditto the Hutterites today in the upper Midwest. In general, one can say

cults are diffuse and incompletely separated from the larger society; sects

are more compact and structured, and defensively organized to defend their

'system' against a larger society which they see as 'evil.' Koresh

headed a sect, not a cult. Huston a cult, not a sect. Anyway, the

main point is, cults and sects are the starting point for many major social

movements. If they grow, they may become established institutions; most,

however, endure only a short time. Hundreds of cults and sects pop up in

the US every year, and thousands do so around the world. Early

Christianity began as a sect, it grew into a state religion; early fascism

began as a cult, it grew into a vast social movement. Hence, 'cults' and

'sects' are not NECESSARILY bad. Cults and sects meet a felt need for

radically new forms of thinking and social organization, and they

proliferate at times of social and cultural crisis. In fact,

anthropologists often use the term 'crisis cult' as a rubric for many of

these movements. What matters for you, me, and other individuals is not

that we necessarily avoid all cults and sects but, rather, that we avoid

BAD cults and sects. Some cults and sects may be very harmful - to the

individual, to society, or to both. Others may have benign, even

beneficient, effects. The trick is to carefully examine who you associate

with, and carefully judge what you stand for, and what the people in the

cult or sect stand for. A healthy affiliation with any group of people -

including with a small group of intense believers that espouses values

divergent from the mainstrean society, ie, a sect or cult - is an

affiliation that benefits the individual AND portends benefits to humanity.

Some cults and sects feature beliefs and practices that are evil; other

cults and sects feature beliefs and practices that may be quite beneficial.

As with anything else, it is best to look carefully before leapin >>

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In a message dated 2/10/99 10:37:52 PM Pacific Standard Time, Pupship@...

writes:

>

> What are some good antidotes to cultthink? I think some of Ayn Rand's

> writing

> is excellent (individual vs. collective, like in the novel " Anthem " ),

> although

> ironically cultlike behavior has grown up around it in some quarters. Any

> other ideas? What worked for you?

>

I like the Moody Blues' album (and I realize I am dating myself here) " On the

Threshold of a Dream. " Especially this part:

" There you go, man

Keep as cool as you can.

Face piles

and piles

of trials

with smiles

It riles them to believe

that you perceive

the web they weave....

And keep on thinking free.' "

Choose your own slogans. Read whatever you want to read, and most importantly,

think your own thoughts! Whatever you want!

Henders

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I agree with your whole post, and I have indeed found it informative to look

into the background of Rand, AA, and many other things. There are few indeed

with untainted motives.

In a message dated 2/11/99 9:09:01 PM Central Standard Time,

PAULDIENER@... writes:

<< pup - you are right that validity of an argument is unaffected by

authorship, and that ad hominem is fallacious. However, it is also

sometimes informative to explore the relationship between the proponent of

a position, and the social environment and/or class background of that same

person. This does not invalidate the argument, but rather puts it in

context. We must judge what the tobacco companies say about smoking and

health, for example, on the basis of the facts. But it does not hurt to

recognize that they might have a vested interest, too. Ditto Rand, or AA -

or even me, for that matter. This is not a defense of ad hominem, just a

claim that gathering background info info can have its value. As to

selfishness and objectivism, 'self' itself is a tricky concept, and so is

'objectivity'. I have my own opinions on all these matters. But I do not

suffer from the illusion that MY opinions should necessarily be YOURS.

Rather, I would merely encourage you, and others, to wrestle with such

knotty problems as honestly and fearlessly as you can. It isn't the

destination, but the journey that matters. ciao wuoldyouryjld am not

>>

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Well stated.

In a message dated 2/11/99 9:32:13 PM Central Standard Time, Henders88@...

writes:

<<

>

I like the Moody Blues' album (and I realize I am dating myself here) " On the

Threshold of a Dream. " Especially this part:

" There you go, man

Keep as cool as you can.

Face piles

and piles

of trials

with smiles

It riles them to believe

that you perceive

the web they weave....

And keep on thinking free.' "

Choose your own slogans. Read whatever you want to read, and most

importantly,

think your own thoughts! Whatever you want!

>>

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pup - you are right that validity of an argument is unaffected by

authorship, and that ad hominem is fallacious. However, it is also

sometimes informative to explore the relationship between the proponent of

a position, and the social environment and/or class background of that same

person. This does not invalidate the argument, but rather puts it in

context. We must judge what the tobacco companies say about smoking and

health, for example, on the basis of the facts. But it does not hurt to

recognize that they might have a vested interest, too. Ditto Rand, or AA -

or even me, for that matter. This is not a defense of ad hominem, just a

claim that gathering background info info can have its value. As to

selfishness and objectivism, 'self' itself is a tricky concept, and so is

'objectivity'. I have my own opinions on all these matters. But I do not

suffer from the illusion that MY opinions should necessarily be YOURS.

Rather, I would merely encourage you, and others, to wrestle with such

knotty problems as honestly and fearlessly as you can. It isn't the

destination, but the journey that matters. ciao wuoldyouryjld am not

----------

> From: Pupship@...

> To: 12-step-freeegroups

> Subject: Re: that sucking sound

> Date: Thursday, February 11, 1999 6:18 PM

>

> I have read those things, and am quite aware of Rand and her propensity

for

> authoritarian guruism in her actual life. However, this has little to do

with

> the philosophy itself, which in fact is contradicted by this very sort of

> behavior on several counts. The Ayn Rand Institute has continued this

> curiously contradictory " cult of personality " that followed Rand. But

that may

> not be all bad, since people who have a tendency to fall into this sort

of

> trap may wind up in that group instead of something more harmful, like

> scientology or some such. At any rate, it is important to separate

principles

> from personalities, and philosophy itself from philosophers. It makes no

> difference if " The Virtue Of Selfishness " and other such works were

written by

> a Nazi Skinhead in a heroin stupor--they should be allowed to stand on

their

> own merits.

>

>

>

> In a message dated 2/11/99 5:47:50 PM Central Standard Time,

> PAULDIENER@... writes:

>

> << Pupship - You might want to read the memoirs of the two Brandens,

iel

> and Barbara. They were in the Ayn Rand cult in the 50s. It was a

> political cult with a strong right-wing flavor, and featured some

> non-normative sexual behaviors (many cults do). By the way, 'cult' is

not

> necessarily a dirty word. As sociologist of religion use the term, it

> merely refers to a relatively small group of believers who are devoted

to

> principles which differ from those of the mainstream society. 'Cult' is

> usually distinguished from 'sect'. In cults, social and economic

> separation from the larger society is not complete, whereas in 'sects'

it

> is moreso. Examples of cults are performance cults (eg, focused upon

> Grateful Dead, the Rocky Horror Picture Show, etc.), astrology cults,

UFO

> cults, 'medical' cults (eg, organized around many 'holistic healers',

early

> Oxford Groups, early AAl), and religious cults (New Thought groups,

early

> Christian Science, Transcendental Meditation). Sects involve a more

> complete withdrawal from the larger society, a 'defensive' social

> structure, frequently unique dress and even language, and various other

> 'adaptations'; the Amish are considered a Christian sect. Jim '

> town was a sect, not a cult. So were the Mormons of early Utah.

> Ditto the Hutterites today in the upper Midwest. In general, one can

say

> cults are diffuse and incompletely separated from the larger society;

sects

> are more compact and structured, and defensively organized to defend

their

> 'system' against a larger society which they see as 'evil.'

Koresh

> headed a sect, not a cult. Huston a cult, not a sect. Anyway, the

> main point is, cults and sects are the starting point for many major

social

> movements. If they grow, they may become established institutions;

most,

> however, endure only a short time. Hundreds of cults and sects pop up

in

> the US every year, and thousands do so around the world. Early

> Christianity began as a sect, it grew into a state religion; early

fascism

> began as a cult, it grew into a vast social movement. Hence, 'cults'

and

> 'sects' are not NECESSARILY bad. Cults and sects meet a felt need for

> radically new forms of thinking and social organization, and they

> proliferate at times of social and cultural crisis. In fact,

> anthropologists often use the term 'crisis cult' as a rubric for many of

> these movements. What matters for you, me, and other individuals is not

> that we necessarily avoid all cults and sects but, rather, that we avoid

> BAD cults and sects. Some cults and sects may be very harmful - to the

> individual, to society, or to both. Others may have benign, even

> beneficient, effects. The trick is to carefully examine who you

associate

> with, and carefully judge what you stand for, and what the people in the

> cult or sect stand for. A healthy affiliation with any group of people

-

> including with a small group of intense believers that espouses values

> divergent from the mainstrean society, ie, a sect or cult - is an

> affiliation that benefits the individual AND portends benefits to

humanity.

> Some cults and sects feature beliefs and practices that are evil; other

> cults and sects feature beliefs and practices that may be quite

beneficial.

> As with anything else, it is best to look carefully before leapin >>

>

> ------------------------------------------------------------------------

> Fresh flowers are the perfect way to say " I love you " .

> Shipped direct from the grower, Proflowers.com has

> arrangements from $29.95 plus S & H.

> Click here: http://offers./click/216/0

>

>

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wrote:

Original Article: /list/12-step-free/?start=2223

>

>

>

> >

> > What are some good antidotes to cultthink? I think some of Ayn Rand's

writing

> > is excellent (individual vs. collective, like in the novel " Anthem " ),

although

> > ironically cultlike behavior has grown up around it in some quarters. Any

> > other ideas? What worked for you?

Hello, Pete & Pupship--

I got into Ayn Rand about the time I was leaving the program. I do have to say

this-- it helped me at the time. Having been so entrenched in an irrational

mindset, her work seemed a breath of fresh air, then. I eventually found it too

constricting, and had to figure out my own way. However, I see very little in

common between Rand and the 12-step mentality (although someone who wanted to

stretch interpretations could probably justify it). I got into the most trouble

in AA after I started to throw Rand-isms into my everyday speech...

However, I do recommend the books by her onetime lover/protegee iel

Branden on self-esteem. He's the only author I have encountered who writes in a

sane and lucid fashion on the matter, and his books ultimately proved very

helpful to me.

Oh, yeah, while I'm recommending books-- Kaminer's " I'm Dysfunctional,

You're Dysfunctional " . She looks at the whole recovery movement from an

outsider's perspective, and while she's not as harsh on AA as I would like her

to be, she turns a highly jaundiced eye on the whole codependency issue. Four

stars out of five, check it out.

Mabee.

>

> Hi pupship, list

>

> Be careful with Ayn Rand. Many dyed in the wool steppers, including my rehab

> running sponsor, love Rand. Rand is effectively right-wing anarchist , like

> the 12 steps are. The reason why AA's are so cultish and group cohesive and

> apparently " leftist " in their behavior is because AA is the *only* place

> where they do this; commonplace things like having no membership list for a

> self-help group and actually doing favours for ppl are really big things to

> these guys because their natural philosophy is generally self-centred,

> authoritarian and elitist. Actually feeling somthing for other ppl is a big

> deal for them, so they give themselves a place where they do it in with a

> vengeance so they can feel better abt not doing it the rest of the time.

>

>

> Pete

> ----------------------

> " Never name the well from which you will not drink. "

> - n Zimmer Bradley

>

> PERSONALITY-DISORDERS SUPPORT/INFO LIST:

> http://rdz.acor.org/athenaeum/lists.phtml?personality-disorders

>

>

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More good authors I've found are Weiner- ( " Fire Your Shrink! " and " Change

Your Life and Everyone In It in Thirty Days or Less " ) Robbins

( " Unlimited Power " ) and others. Objectivism's basic principles are an

excellent moral system and behavioral frame; the problem occurs when Rand (or

anyone else) is taken as a final and unquestionable authority on reality

(which contradicts those same principles, by the way.) Interesting to find

people who don't scorn her here; at least locally, I've found it somewhat

difficult to find people who have even heard of her, and among those who have,

most misunderstand and hate her.

In a message dated 2/12/99 3:15:00 AM Central Standard Time,

SnowyEagle@... writes:

<<

> > What are some good antidotes to cultthink? I think some of Ayn Rand's

writing

> > is excellent (individual vs. collective, like in the novel " Anthem " ),

although

> > ironically cultlike behavior has grown up around it in some quarters. Any

> > other ideas? What worked for you?

Hello, Pete & Pupship--

I got into Ayn Rand about the time I was leaving the program. I do have to

say this-- it helped me at the time. Having been so entrenched in an

irrational mindset, her work seemed a breath of fresh air, then. I eventually

found it too constricting, and had to figure out my own way. However, I see

very little in common between Rand and the 12-step mentality (although someone

who wanted to stretch interpretations could probably justify it). I got into

the most trouble in AA after I started to throw Rand-isms into my everyday

speech...

However, I do recommend the books by her onetime lover/protegee iel

Branden on self-esteem. He's the only author I have encountered who writes in

a sane and lucid fashion on the matter, and his books ultimately proved very

helpful to me.

Oh, yeah, while I'm recommending books-- Kaminer's " I'm Dysfunctional,

You're Dysfunctional " . She looks at the whole recovery movement from an

outsider's perspective, and while she's not as harsh on AA as I would like her

to be, she turns a highly jaundiced eye on the whole codependency issue. Four

stars out of five, check it out.

Mabee. >>

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This is an excellent review of the systems of cults and sects. Wow. Very

well presented. How come you know? Are you the sociologist? Thanks. Carol

At 05:55 PM 2/11/99 -0600, you wrote:

>Pupship - You might want to read the memoirs of the two Brandens, iel

>and Barbara. They were in the Ayn Rand cult in the 50s. It was a

>political cult with a strong right-wing flavor, and featured some

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Hey!! This is happening here in Nashville, and it is SCARY. They

sentence 90/90 and put people in jail if they don't comply. There is a

lot of other frightening things here too, too much for me to go into

right now.

Joy

>Reply-To: 12-step-freeegroups

>From: Pupship@...

>Date: Thu, 11 Feb 1999 01:36:27 EST

>To: 12-step-freeegroups

>Subject: Re: that sucking sound

>

>In a message dated 2/10/99 11:34:22 PM Central Standard Time,

>Henders88@... writes:

>

><<

> In the town where I used to live there is a judge who sucks in

everybody he

> can get his hands on. He's the judge, therefore he can legally

sentence

>people

> to AA. He practically walks on water in that town. While claiming

anonymity,

> he nevertheless is well known locally for being an AA member and big

>proponent

> of the 12 steps. He's " saved " more people than the Baptist minister,

in some

> peoples' eyes.

>

> Sometimes I think the whole country is run by steppers.>>>>

>

>What are some good antidotes to cultthink? I think some of Ayn Rand's

writing

>is excellent (individual vs. collective, like in the novel " Anthem " ),

although

>ironically cultlike behavior has grown up around it in some quarters.

Any

>other ideas? What worked for you?

>

>------------------------------------------------------------------------

>One Day Science Will Create A Natural Solution For Hairloss

>That day is today. HairGenesis. The world’s first naturally

>derived and proven treatment for Male Pattern Hairloss.

>Click Here: http://offers./click/217/0

>

>

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What offense(s) do they sentence 90 in 90 for?

In a message dated 2/13/99 12:02:45 AM Central Standard Time,

joy1959@... writes:

<< Hey!! This is happening here in Nashville, and it is SCARY. They

sentence 90/90 and put people in jail if they don't comply. There is a

lot of other frightening things here too, too much for me to go into

right now.

Joy >>

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For example, my spouse was drinking one night, our seventeen year-old

(who has been having his own problems) came in, an argument ensued, and

the boy threatens to " gut " Chris. grabbed him, pushed him against

the wall to discourage this bad line of thinking. The boy calls the

police, my husband is arrested (because alcohol was involved) and they

have put my husband through hell ever since. The police/DA wouldn't

even listen to me. It's crazy, and has actually escalated the binges.

It has almost destroyed us, caused my husband to miss countless work . .

.. all because some idiot thinks AA is the way! I'd love to get my

hands around a certain prob. ofcrs. neck!!! I know I'm being sketchy,

it's because I'm at work, and keep getting called away. Now my husband

is so depressed he can't hardly move any more <<sigh>>

>Reply-To: 12-step-freeegroups

>From: Pupship@...

>Date: Sat, 13 Feb 1999 01:29:02 EST

>To: 12-step-freeegroups

>Subject: Re: that sucking sound

>

>What offense(s) do they sentence 90 in 90 for?

>

>

>In a message dated 2/13/99 12:02:45 AM Central Standard Time,

>joy1959@... writes:

>

><< Hey!! This is happening here in Nashville, and it is SCARY. They

> sentence 90/90 and put people in jail if they don't comply. There is

a

> lot of other frightening things here too, too much for me to go into

> right now.

> Joy >>

>

>------------------------------------------------------------------------

>One day scientists will discover a natural

>solution for hair loss. That day is here ....

>Hair Genesis http://offers./click/224/0

>

>

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I will elaborate further, my husband was advised by counsel to plead " no

contest " (I said fight it, but he thought it would be okay.) They

sentenced him to probation for 11mos. The probation ofcr said he had to

have an " evaluation " done. He got railroaded by a guy who wasn't even a

doctor (a doctorate in AA maybe) and they gave him 90/90, parenting

classes, and inpatient against his will, PLUS outpatient. Now that

they've destroyed our lives, we are trying to put the pieces back

together. If ever I hated the AA ideas I do now, and I've never

believed the philosophy anyways.

>Reply-To: 12-step-freeegroups

>From: Pupship@...

>Date: Sat, 13 Feb 1999 01:29:02 EST

>To: 12-step-freeegroups

>Subject: Re: that sucking sound

>

>What offense(s) do they sentence 90 in 90 for?

>

>

>In a message dated 2/13/99 12:02:45 AM Central Standard Time,

>joy1959@... writes:

>

><< Hey!! This is happening here in Nashville, and it is SCARY. They

> sentence 90/90 and put people in jail if they don't comply. There is

a

> lot of other frightening things here too, too much for me to go into

> right now.

> Joy >>

>

>------------------------------------------------------------------------

>One day scientists will discover a natural

>solution for hair loss. That day is here ....

>Hair Genesis http://offers./click/224/0

>

>

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Carol - the cult/sect stuff is handy in studying AA. My background is

cultural anthropology. Glad you found it of interest.

----------

>

> To: 12-step-freeegroups

> Subject: Re: that sucking sound

> Date: Friday, February 12, 1999 12:11 PM

>

> This is an excellent review of the systems of cults and sects. Wow. Very

> well presented. How come you know? Are you the sociologist? Thanks.

Carol

>

> At 05:55 PM 2/11/99 -0600, you wrote:

> >Pupship - You might want to read the memoirs of the two Brandens,

iel

> >and Barbara. They were in the Ayn Rand cult in the 50s. It was a

> >political cult with a strong right-wing flavor, and featured some

>

>

> ------------------------------------------------------------------------

> One day scientists will discover a natural

> solution for hair loss. That day is here ....

> Hair Genesis http://offers./click/224/0

>

>

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Share on other sites

Let these people, should you know any of the unfortunates know that Jack

Trimpey has a legal action site for that abuse. Cheers, Carol

At 12:01 AM 2/13/99 CST, you wrote:

>Hey!! This is happening here in Nashville, and it is SCARY. They

>sentence 90/90 and put people in jail if they don't comply. There is a

>lot of other frightening things here too, too much for me to go into

>right now.

>Joy

>

>

>>Reply-To: 12-step-freeegroups

>>From: Pupship@...

>>Date: Thu, 11 Feb 1999 01:36:27 EST

>>To: 12-step-freeegroups

>>Subject: Re: that sucking sound

>>

>>In a message dated 2/10/99 11:34:22 PM Central Standard Time,

>>Henders88@... writes:

>>

>><<

>> In the town where I used to live there is a judge who sucks in

>everybody he

>> can get his hands on. He's the judge, therefore he can legally

>sentence

>>people

>> to AA. He practically walks on water in that town. While claiming

>anonymity,

>> he nevertheless is well known locally for being an AA member and big

>>proponent

>> of the 12 steps. He's " saved " more people than the Baptist minister,

>in some

>> peoples' eyes.

>>

>> Sometimes I think the whole country is run by steppers.>>>>

>>

>>What are some good antidotes to cultthink? I think some of Ayn Rand's

>writing

>>is excellent (individual vs. collective, like in the novel " Anthem " ),

>although

>>ironically cultlike behavior has grown up around it in some quarters.

>Any

>>other ideas? What worked for you?

>>

>>------------------------------------------------------------------------

>>One Day Science Will Create A Natural Solution For Hairloss

>>That day is today. HairGenesis. The world’s first naturally

>>derived and proven treatment for Male Pattern Hairloss.

>>Click Here: http://offers./click/217/0

>>

>>

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Going through the same thing here in Virginia. . . have gathered lots of

material and found out we don't live in a free country. I don't believe we

are powerless over alcohol but I am afraid we are powerless against stepper

judges, da's, probation officers, the courts, the department of motor vehicles

etc. . . at least when I read my E-mail from this group I find out I am not

alone and I am not crazy. . .this group has kept me sane through the past 6

months of hell. Please let me know if I can be of any help.

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In a message dated 2/12/99 6:00:51 PM Pacific Standard Time, Pupship@...

writes:

> By the way, what is " that sucking sound " in reference to?

>

Being sucked into a cult. I think it got started with a reference to " Invasion

of the Body Snatchers " and how that movie reminded Ken of his AA experience.

Henders

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In a message dated 2/13/99 1:11:57 AM Pacific Standard Time,

joy1959@... writes:

> grabbed him, pushed him against

> the wall to discourage this bad line of thinking.

Joy,

If it's any help at all, I can tell you that I have been through this. I've

been there and I know it tears a mother in two. This was the only time in my

life I actually voluntarily sought counseling and as it turns out, received

some good advice.

My husband and 17-year-old son were at odds to the point where I was afraid my

husband was going to really hurt him or vice versa. Loving them both so much,

it was breaking my heart. The family counselor I sought out told me: " Stay out

of it as much as possible. Don't take sides, don't try to intervene, don't do

anything except try to ride this out. "

He told me it was a father-son, male-male deal and in the long run, it would

bring them closer. at the time I thought, " Hooey! Thanks a lot for nothing! "

But guess what? He was right! My son who is now 24 adores and respects his

father. I am amazed. He thinks his father knows everything and is the greatest

guy in the world. Wonders never cease.

It was hard, though. I don't envy you and it's too bad the cops got involved.

All I can say is I hope the family can stay together. That's the most

important thing.

God bless you.

Henders

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>

> > By the way, what is " that sucking sound " in reference to?

> >

> Being sucked into a cult. I think it got started with a reference to " Invasion

> of the Body Snatchers " and how that movie reminded Ken of his AA experience.

I thought it had something to do with AA and donkeys?

Pete

Being coarse again

----------------------

" Never name the well from which you will not drink. "

- n Zimmer Bradley

PERSONALITY-DISORDERS SUPPORT/INFO LIST:

http://rdz.acor.org/athenaeum/lists.phtml?personality-disorders

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