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Hi everyone

I am having the worst day.....

The dh. informed me last night that his job is not going very well at all,

and that it looks like he might loose his job in the next few months. We

don't know what to do..... We bought a house early last year, and have a

morgage that we can barely afford, so if he does loose his job, we are going

to have to sell the house, and I don't know where we will go then.

Off-course our parents will be happy to have us, but after 5 years of

marriage, I just don't think that we can go home now. You get so used to

being independant, and not having to rely on your folks, and in a way I do

believe in the saying that once you leave home, you can never go back. We

have had financial problems for as long as I can remember, and this is sort

of just the last straw. I honestly just don't know what to do any more. I am

working part time now, but my salary is not nearly enough to support us.

Sometimes I just want to run away.... there is no hope for him to get a job

again with the way things are in our country right now, with affirmative

action and all, you have to be either black or a woman if you want to find a

job, and even then there just isn't enough work for everyone. We spoke about

the possibility of moving to England, because that is one place where you

can find work, but we have to think of our son. Taking him away from his

grand parents, and all his family, and then to risk not finding anything

when we get there.... I don't know anymore.

I am sorry for raining on everyones parade, but I just feel totally useless

right now.

sonja

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Dear Sonya,

I'm sorry to hear about your husbands job. That is a very tough situation

to be in. You should go where the jobs are, but then you'd be leaving your

family. Maybe your husband could go to London on a job search trip and get

something secured first and then ya'll could follow after. I know that any

advice right now probably doesn't sound good to you because you don't want

things to change or move so take some time to adjust first before rushing

into something. Maybe once you and DH have come to terms with the situation

you can sit down and formulate a plan. I'm sure when this is done you will

feel a sense of relief. It may not be the plan you want, but at least it

will be something so you know that your future is secure. Hang in there

Sonja, I'll keep you and your DH in my prayers, I know you did not need this

added stress in your life right now.

Take Care,

Stacey McCoy

really bad day

>Hi everyone

>

>I am having the worst day.....

>The dh. informed me last night that his job is not going very well at all,

>and that it looks like he might loose his job in the next few months. We

>don't know what to do..... We bought a house early last year, and have a

>morgage that we can barely afford, so if he does loose his job, we are

going

>to have to sell the house, and I don't know where we will go then.

>Off-course our parents will be happy to have us, but after 5 years of

>marriage, I just don't think that we can go home now. You get so used to

>being independant, and not having to rely on your folks, and in a way I do

>believe in the saying that once you leave home, you can never go back. We

>have had financial problems for as long as I can remember, and this is sort

>of just the last straw. I honestly just don't know what to do any more. I

am

>working part time now, but my salary is not nearly enough to support us.

>Sometimes I just want to run away.... there is no hope for him to get a job

>again with the way things are in our country right now, with affirmative

>action and all, you have to be either black or a woman if you want to find

a

>job, and even then there just isn't enough work for everyone. We spoke

about

>the possibility of moving to England, because that is one place where you

>can find work, but we have to think of our son. Taking him away from his

>grand parents, and all his family, and then to risk not finding anything

>when we get there.... I don't know anymore.

>

>I am sorry for raining on everyones parade, but I just feel totally useless

>right now.

>

>sonja

>

>______________________________________________________

>

>------------------------------------------------------------------------

>

>eGroups.com home: /group/ectopicpregnancy

> - Simplifying group communications

>

>

>

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Dear Sonja,

I am sorry for the way things are going right now. I am going to say a

special prayer tonight just for you and your family. Things may improve with

your DH's job. Don't loose hope yet.

As far as moving away goes ... when Olivia was 2 and a half we moved from our

home state of Florida, where our entire family lives (both sides) and

relocated to Ohio for a better job opportunity for my DH. It was hard and we

felt really bad about taking Olivia away from the family. But, looking back

over the past 2 yrs, I know it was the best thing that ever happened to us.

Take Care and Chin Up to you!!!!

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Sonja - I am so sorry to hear about your problems...'s family business

went out of business last year right around the holidays and we thought we

would never get through them. Thankfully my mother was kind enough to let us

move in with her, got a new job fairly quickly - but not in the field

he went to college for - and we are getting ready in a few weeks to move into

our own house. I guess my point is, don't rule out taking help from your

parents. We actually enjoyed being with my mother and sister - has a

great relationship with them both and my step-daughters really got to know

their " step " grandmother and aunt....it was nice ofr all of us - we are now a

very close family and we really weren't before. Anyway, after all of our bad

luck we have decided that everything happens for a reason and we just need to

let go of things we can't control. I'm sure this won't make you feel better

but everything will work out in the end. Good luck, we are thinking of you,

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thanks for thinking of me. My mom has a flat in out town that she is

currently renting out, and we have just found out that the tennant will not

be renewing her lease at the end of the year, so if it comes to that, we can

move in there by January. It is a very nice place (on the beach!!) but it is

on the second floor, and the balcony is somewhat of a worry.(I can see our

son taking a flying leap off there!) But if this is an option, we will just

have to put up a security gate to stop him from going out there. Anyway,

atleast we know that we will have somewhere to live. We have decided that

regardless of what happens with his job, we will anyway sell our house,

because the financial strain of the high mortgage is just becoming too

draining. We never have money to do anything, so if we sell the house,

atleast we will be able to live a little bit. We will off course invest that

money, so that when we are on our feet again, we can afford a decent down

payment on a new house. I feel that owning your own house is very important,

especially if there are kids in the equation, because you have something to

leave them one day, but right now, we are just not in the position to handle

that comfortably.

I really do appreciate all of you getting back to me, and all the support

you give us. Thanks guys.

take care

sonja

>From: FJDarcy@...

>Reply-To: ectopicpregnancyegroups

>To: ectopicpregnancyegroups

>Subject: Re: really bad day

>Date: Wed, 27 Oct 1999 11:08:53 EDT

>

>Sonja - I am so sorry to hear about your problems...'s family business

>went out of business last year right around the holidays and we thought we

>would never get through them. Thankfully my mother was kind enough to let

>us

>move in with her, got a new job fairly quickly - but not in the field

>he went to college for - and we are getting ready in a few weeks to move

>into

>our own house. I guess my point is, don't rule out taking help from your

>parents. We actually enjoyed being with my mother and sister - has a

>great relationship with them both and my step-daughters really got to know

>their " step " grandmother and aunt....it was nice ofr all of us - we are now

>a

>very close family and we really weren't before. Anyway, after all of our

>bad

>luck we have decided that everything happens for a reason and we just need

>to

>let go of things we can't control. I'm sure this won't make you feel

>better

>but everything will work out in the end. Good luck, we are thinking of

>you,

>

>

>

>------------------------------------------------------------------------

>Learn2 Avoid Junk Mail. Learn2 Shop for Bargain Airfares. Learn2

>Weatherize Your Home. Learn2 Speak Wine. Learn2 Get by in French.

>Learn2 Negotiate a Raise. http://clickhere./click/965

>

>

>

>eGroups.com home: /group/ectopicpregnancy

> - Simplifying group communications

>

>

>

>

>

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