Guest guest Posted September 23, 2002 Report Share Posted September 23, 2002 I agree with you...you do not have to take treatment to be a hero...my mother took it for 6 months and was miserable...she said I prefer quality of life to quantity...she quit the treatments and lived for another 4 years. She did have pain and suffering but not as much as she was having with the chemo. It takes a lot of " gut " to say, I am not taking any more treatment but I truly respect those who make that decision. It is their lives, their bodies and they have the right to choose. I have not been faced with that option...I did not have treatment except the mastectomy...so I can not say what I would do in the same situation. Thanks for the reminder...I may either go back and edit my story to add that part of write a second one and call it Cowards Continued. > Doris, > I agree with you when you said: > > COWARDS > > Recently a lady in my online support group posted > > a message about the treatments she was having and > was > > going to have and expressed her fear...She is not a > > coward in my eyes. > > To me a coward is someone who fears something and > > does nothing. A hero is someone who has fear but > > decides to stand up and fight... > > But, for me, I don't quite agree with: > > or in the case of a disease like cancer, (she/he) > > decides to take the treatments that are offered and > > anticipate and pray for a good result. > I also honor those who have chosen not to do > treatments. Maybe their cancer has so destroyed their > bodies, that they have made a choice not to > continue...these people do it not with fear, but with > an unbelievable amount of courage. Maybe their > " reason " is beyond my comprehension. But, if they > have looked at all options, and made their decision > based on their strengths/beliefs/etc. then I also find > them a hero. > I only say this because of my friend who only has > a few months to live. I am learning of her strength, > as she finally said " enough is enough " . She has been > through so many treatments, and this last one caused > her to basically remain in the hospital with a 17% > chance of living. She was in constant pain. She > could handle the potential death, but not the deathful > type of life she was living. She is now home, > enjoying her children and life. I do not know how I > would decide if that ever happens to me, and I pray > that never does happen to me. I pray and trust that I > will be healed. Therefore I will do chemo, radiation, > hormone therapy, prayer, diet, & exercise, to aid in > my healing. But I am learning a different side of > being a couragous person. > For awhile I wondered why God would hurt such > wonderful people that I know (my best friends: mom of > 7 was murdered at her front door, mom of 26 died of > cancer, disabled mom to 2 disabled, adopted kids who > is dying). Then I realized that God didn't kill them > or cause them pain, but He brought them into my life > for a purpose. I'm not always sure of the purpose, > but I would not give up the experience of knowing and > loving them. Their lives have made me a better, more > loving person. I was truly blessed to know them. > So, I then agree with you when you say: > > A hero will stand up and demand that they are given > > a chance to accomplish something instead of hiding > > and saying, " I give up. " Doris B. Fandal > So, I agree because she/he is not truly " giving up, " > they are choosing a different path, which to me is > being courageous. > Please understand that I do not mean to be > disrespectful, because your message is so important: > " A hero is someone who has fear but decides to stand > up and fight. " We all have a responsiblity to define > our our way to " fight. " > Bye for now, > Gloria > > > ===== Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 28, 2002 Report Share Posted September 28, 2002 At 12:22 PM 9/28/2002 -0500, you wrote: >Hi Jill! >I am glad you posted. We are here for the good as well as the bad times. >We don't always talk about breast cancer we share about our families or >what ever else we want. Feel free to post about anything that concerns >you. If you are down and want to vent thats fine too. You can always email >me privately if you prefer. You are in my prayers. Thanks, nne. This seems like such a nice group, but it is So BIG! A little intimidating. I feel like I'm jumping into people's friendships saying " me, too! " Jill Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 29, 2002 Report Share Posted September 29, 2002 Jill, you are not being pushy...sounds to me as though you are just being friendly and I love getting new friends so add me to you list. doris > >Don't feel like you are getting into someones friendship. We are all l Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 29, 2002 Report Share Posted September 29, 2002 Jill, I'm kind of new here...this is a fantastic group, filled with support and understanding. Your friend is blessed to have you as a friend!! Bye for now, Gloria --- Jill Merrill wrote: > At 06:55 PM 9/28/2002 -0500, you wrote: > >Don't feel like you are getting into someones > friendship. We are all like > >sisters here > >Hugs > >nne > > Thanks. But I feel so pushy. Like going up to a > group of people at a party > and just joining right in. I don't know. Maybe > that's normal and I'm just shy. > > I'm particularly sad today because I'm going to a > memorial service for a > friend who died of Hepatitic C. Makes me put cancer > in perspective. For one > thing, cancer's not contagious, so I'm not treated > like a pariah. For > another thing, at least doctors don't blame me > (except that jerk of a > radiologist). My friend kept getting treated like > poop for being a " drug > addict " . She hadn't touched a drug in 20 years. She > had a rotten childhood, > made some unfortunate choices as a young woman, then > grew up into a > new-agey spiritual type healer. Ironic that she > ended up with a disease > that is associated with drug addicts. When I met > her, she never even took > tylenol. So she had to fight not only the disease, > but the stigma, too. I'm > glad at least cancer isn't considered a " cooties " > disease that people > " deserve " because of mistakes they made in their > youth. > > So I guess today, oddly enough, is a day for me to > be grateful that I have > cancer and not Hepatitis C. > > Jill > > >Breast Cancer Patients Soul Mates for Life > ><http://www.geocities.com/chucky5741/breastcancerpatients.html>http://www.geoci\ ties.com/chucky5741/breastcancerpatients.html > > > >Check out my breast cancer ornaments at: > ><http://www.geocities.com/chucky5741/bcornament.html>http://www.geocities.com/c\ hucky5741/bcornament.html > > Re: Cowards > > > > > > At 12:22 PM 9/28/2002 -0500, you wrote: > > >Hi Jill! > > >I am glad you posted. We are here for the good > as well as the bad times. > > >We don't always talk about breast cancer we > share about our families or > > >what ever else we want. Feel free to post about > anything that concerns > > >you. If you are down and want to vent thats > fine too. You can always > > email > > >me privately if you prefer. You are in my > prayers. > > > > Thanks, nne. This seems like such a nice > group, but it is So BIG! A > > little intimidating. I feel like I'm jumping > into people's friendships > > saying " me, too! " > > > > Jill > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 30, 2002 Report Share Posted September 30, 2002 At 06:55 PM 9/29/2002 -0700, you wrote: >Jill, > I'm kind of new here...this is a fantastic group, >filled with support and understanding. Your friend is >blessed to have you as a friend!! >Bye for now, >Gloria Thanks Gloria. My husband and I are lucky in that, at least before I got bc and he was working full-time, he made enough money for us to help out my friend with Hepatitis C while she was still alive. Now he works pretty much part-time as he has to do a lot of child-care too when I'm not up to it. He's self-employed so he gets paid by the hour; part-time work means part-time pay. We have a funny outlook about charity anyhow. A while back, we stopped giving to formal groups, even good ones we believed in, because so much of the money we gave got wasted on cutting down trees to make junk mail to bug us for more money. So we just give directly to people in need. Unfortunately we always seem to know someone who is on the edge financially and it's more rewarding to be able to help them and see an immediate result than write a check and wonder where your money is going. The memorial service for my friend who died made me feel very alive and healthy. It was a good reminder that bc is not always the end of the world. The new Jill Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 30, 2002 Report Share Posted September 30, 2002 I always told my students they could call me Mrs. Fandal, Mrs. Doris, or just Miss (a southern tradition for ladies) but just don't call me " HEY YOU! " I don't answer to that. As they say, doesn't matter what ....just call me. doris > >Jill, you are not being pushy...sounds to me as though you are just > >being friendly and I love getting new friends so add me to you list. doris > > > >Thanks Doris. I feel though like I am masquerading as the other Jill. She > >has first dibs on " Jill " here but I don't know what else to call myself. > >There's a character in a series of books I really like called Jilly > >Coppercorn. Maybe I should call myself Jilly. > Jill(y) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 30, 2002 Report Share Posted September 30, 2002 how true the old Cajun way is either miss ,Mrs., aunt or uncle or tont cheryl means aunt or nee -nok which means uncle never call a older person by their first name got a slap on that behind my daughter got more aunts and uncles you would know all her daddy and moms cousins were aunt and uncle now that she's older she still calls them aunt or uncle or the Cajun name for it she said she would feel funny calling them by their first name and i'm like Doris a child call me heh you i get pretty upset but all kids besides my grandkids call me nanny and my husband poppy now grandkids call my husband poppy as well cheryl Re: Cowards I always told my students they could call me Mrs. Fandal, Mrs. Doris, or just Miss (a southern tradition for ladies) but just don't call me " HEY YOU! " I don't answer to that. As they say, doesn't matter what ...just call me. doris > >Jill, you are not being pushy...sounds to me as though you are just > >being friendly and I love getting new friends so add me to you list. doris > > > >Thanks Doris. I feel though like I am masquerading as the other Jill. She > >has first dibs on " Jill " here but I don't know what else to call myself. > >There's a character in a series of books I really like called Jilly > >Coppercorn. Maybe I should call myself Jilly. > Jill(y) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 30, 2002 Report Share Posted September 30, 2002 At 02:34 PM 9/30/2002 +0000, you wrote: >I always told my students they could call me Mrs. Fandal, Mrs. Doris, >or just Miss (a southern tradition for ladies) but just don't call me > " HEY YOU! " I don't answer to that. As they say, doesn't matter what >...just call me. doris > I allow my daughter to call me " egghead " once a day since I am entirely bald, but once the novelty wore off, she stopped doing it. Part of trying to keep the tone light, I guess. Jill (the bald one) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.