The Wizard of OA

[Guest guest]

Hello Joe, folks

> Actually " Admtdefeat " is wrong in any case. AA wrote that tradition so that

> people who kept getting drunk would not embarrass AA and its image by

> telling the world that they were members but they were still getting drunk

> from time to time. Remember the radio broadcast where they had to lock the

> guy up for a few days beforehand to keep him sober for the broadcast? If

> " Admtdefeat " reads up the relevant AA literature and some moddern critiques

> thereof he/she will learn much. Well at least it opens up the possibility...

I am grateful to Ken for reminding me of the broadcast episode and

highlighting its implications. Pointing out these things to steppers is

always lost on them; they just dont get it. They may also accuse you of

selective quoting, not getting that we know what AA *says* what happened and

why, but that one must look at the *unwitting* testimony as well as the

witting. It's amazing that it's possible to amass a huge amount of data abt

" The Real AA " as Ken did, solely from AA sources in their own promotional

literature. Theyre that out of touch.

>

> Pete, note the quaint expression " find recovery " . As you know this implies

> that " recovery " exists outside of a person and need to be " found " or a

> " message " pertaining to said " recovery " needs to be " carried " to the

> person. Its all so archaic isn't it? It's kitsch.

Well folks, I finally went to an OA meeting, so I better talk abt it.

firstly, thanks again Joe for talking abt your own deprogramming and how

long it took you; it makes me understand my own situation better.

I am still immensely dominated by XA thinking; and I realized today that for

me XA attendance is definitely dangerous, I can easily be reprogrammed.

I waste vast amounts of time pleading to help from a God that I'm not at all

sure exists and certainly doesnt mind ppl suffering and dying in vast

numbers, instead of getting off my ass and helping myself. Basically, XA has

reawakened my religious and parental abuse as a child; it was always around,

but XA has made it pathological. I rarely give myself any credit for what I

achieve, or believe in my own capapbilities.

I am coming out of a depression, partly thru meds and partly thru having

acquired a very decent new roomie who is becoming a good mate.

this fact means that I can now view XA with mounting horror and revulsion,

to the point that my meetings may indeed be ruined, and I will get help

elsewhere and maybe even START a group if I cant find a healthy one already

existing.

The first thing is this hugging business. Hugging complete strangers?

Weird... yukkish even. also possibly sinister. OA has lots of young women,

often very attrtactive, and I suspect many AA/NA men go to OA solely to hit

on the women. I found myself next to a newcomer who happened to be young

and very pretty, and I deliberately did NOT hug her even tho she appeared

abt to hug me, as I didnt think it appropriate as I had never met her

before. Many young OA women are multi-impulsive bulimics, to give them the

proper medical term, i.e. abuse alcohol and drugs as well as binge and

purge. This = " cross-addicted " in 12-step mythology, and hence they get

roped into AA and NA as well, where the 13-steppers circle like buzzards.

As it happens, I dont see anything wrong in having relationships with ppl

met at support groups, but I think it ought to be done responsibly with

appropriate boundaries, and instant-hugging is not. My last gf I met in OA

and I courted her respectfully; she was also probably weller than me when we

met and remained so during our relationship.

I was amazed at how gross I found OA - it's religiosity, brainwashing,it's

sick program of disempowerment and self-shaming.

I cant remember who mentioned Ayn Rand. Pupship? from what you said it

sounds like I would like Rand's personal philosophy of living for oneself

very much; it is a healthy counterblast to XA enslavement. (I am concerned

abt the political groupings associated with Rand. Perhaps I am prejudiced,

simply because my authoritarian sponsor was a supporter of Rand).

I think my sponsor didnt really understand the implications of Rand - or the

implications of steppism, and I have to admit to not really understanding

Rand either - my apologies.

anyway, I say my own thing at OA, which I wouldnt be surprised is actually

very Randish, and i bet it causes disconcertion.

I also take the opportunity to talk to newcomers, and I tell them abt the

real XA, not the advertised one. It's just possible I might be able to

gradually accumulate enough to assemble a SMART group or something; the

longtermers are likely all brainwashed by now of course.

Trouble is, can I hold out against the garbage? Or will I get sucked in

again? As I said above, I'm STILL recovering from my previous OA

involvement. It's like Canute holding back shit against the tide.

To speak up requires courage, and I am something of a cowardly lion, or a

little Man who pulls levers to make himself sound loud and important.

I have been to 2 OA meetings recently, and I was grossed out more but spoke

out less the second time. I do tell the newbies how it is tho; I'm thinking

of creating " Pete's Minus 12 steps " - reinterpretations of the Steps that

are really antithetical to them that might just stop newbies addling their

brains with the original ones. ...But will I last?

Joe, I know you dont go out much, but if I reconvert, promise me you'll come

over and shoot me, k?

Pete

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My Childhood sent me Lemons -

So I made Limerance

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